Nightfall
by MySlashyFriend
Summary: Twilight AU where Bella never existed. On September 13th, 1987, Renée gave birth to William Matthew Swan. Seventeen years later, he moves to Forks. Edward/original character, Slash, Mature.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I have my best ideas late at night when I should be sleeping, and then I email them to myself so I remember them the next day (and so they'll bugger off and let me sleep). A few weeks ago, I opened up my email to find this:**

**What if Bella was a boy?**

**And that's how this story was born. It is Twilight, but there is no Bella. Renée and Charlie had a baby boy and named him William Matthew Swan. He is not just a boy version of Bella, though, because being a male, certain aspects of his upbringing and personality are just different. So forgive me if I've made him less clumsy (he's less self-conscious) or less descriptive (he notices actions more). He does share some important Bella traits though, namely, her shield-like ability, and the same resistance to the scary vamp vibe.**

**Just a warning... I really want to write this story, and I have every intention of finishing it, BUT updates will not be weekly, or even fortnightly. I write when I can and I'll do my best to update regularly, but they may take a little while. If that sort of thing bothers you, maybe wait until it's complete, okay?**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world.**

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**First Sight**

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Charlie pulled into the driveway of his small two-bedroom, two storey house and killed the cruiser's engine. The house looked the same as the last time I saw it—three years ago. The only difference was an old Chevy parked in the driveway.

Charlie and I hadn't talked much at all during the drive from Port Angeles, which was fine by me. Agreeable silences were one of the main reasons I'd decided to move to Forks. I'd take my father and his quiet over Renée and Phil's newly-wedded bliss any day.

Just as I was about to undo my seat-belt and get out, Charlie cleared his throat. "I got you a truck," he said, barely indicating the rusty, red Chevy with his hand. He looked a little uncomfortable, almost embarrassed by the admission.

"Really?" I asked, my voice skeptical, not ready to make the jump to believing him without some more prompting. He nodded and I was floored by the unexpected gift. I hadn't let myself dwell on the thought of being dropped off at school each day in the cruiser, but it had still been lurking, filling me with subconscious dread. I eyed the huge chunk o' metal, noting it's faded paint, deciding I preferred it to the too shiny finish of new cars. It was large and old and would probably be a bitch to drive, but that truck was my freedom.

"Thanks, Ch—Dad. That's awesome."

He opened his car door and got out and I followed him over to the giant heap of steel. It had character, I decided, and it wasn't at all like the tiny import Renée would surely have gotten me.

"I love it," I said with real enthusiasm, causing Charlie to laugh. I met his eyes and for the first time, I imagined living in Forks might actually be all right.

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

I drove myself to school the next day.

Everywhere you looked around Forks, you saw green. The skyline was punctuated by trees, not buildings, and the lack of city lights gave everything an old fashioned quality. When I arrived at school, that impression was cemented in my mind. People wore a lot more clothes in Forks due to the weather, and the parking lot was full of old cars. There was very little distinguishing it from what I imagined the place looked like forty years ago.

The office was pretty easy to find and I walked straight in, just wanting to get it all over and done with. It looked old as well, with its folding chairs and haphazard collection of awards. It even smelled old, musty, like it never really had a chance to dry out. And then there was the old lady with red hair who was sitting behind the desk. She looked up at my arrival and squinted at me over her glasses.

"Oh my." She stood up and walked closer to me, her mouth spreading into a smile. "You look just like a young Charlie Swan."

I grimaced and broke eye contact, because . . . what else could I do? She had to realize that shit was embarrassing for me. And truthfully, I didn't think I looked that much like my dad. I had his brown hair and eyes, his pale skin, but I had my mom's features. People here wouldn't remember that, though.

"Sorry, dear," she said, using the word the way only old ladies could. "I guess you're eager to just get settled in." I nodded and she smiled in understanding and it felt nice to be looked at like that.

She returned to her desk and rummaged through a stack of papers until she found what she was looking for. "Here you go. I have your schedule here and a map of the school. You'll need to get one of these slips signed by each teacher you see." She gave me more instructions and I tried to look grateful, even though I wasn't paying much attention to her.

When she was finished she smiled. "I hope you like it here, William."

"Thanks," I muttered, not bothering to correct her. "Me, too."

I had English first and kept my head down as I navigated my way to building three. It was easy to spot—a large painted "3" making it especially clear. I fell into line behind a couple of other students and copied them as they shed their raincoats and hung them up. It turned out they were both girls and when they spied me, they behaved like girls—whispering and smiling coyly, recognition clear on their faces. Their reaction stirred my nerves properly for the first time that day. It wasn't just the old lady in the office who was going to think of me as Chief Swan's son.

I sniffed and blew the thought off. Two years was all I had to endure and then I could head off to college. With my mind in a better place and my attitude in check, I opened the door and met a room full of eyes before heading to the teacher.

"I'm Liam Swan," I said quietly to the teacher's solemn expectancy. "The lady in the office said I needed to get you to sign one of these for my first day."

"Liam?"

Of course they wouldn't be expecting me with that name. While Renée indulged my preference, Charlie never had.

"It's probably William on the role," I explained.

The teacher nodded and indicated an empty chair at the rear of the class. "Have a seat." I sat down quickly, grateful I didn't have to feel eyes boring into the back of my head. The teacher, Mr. Mason, approached and handed me the reading list. It was typical: Bronte, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner. No sci-fi in sight.

A bell rang and I made my way to my next class—trigonometry. The teacher made me introduce myself and I did so in my very best monotone. There was absolutely no reason for me to have to do it; judging by everyone's knowing stares, they already knew who I was. I decided then and there that Mr. Varner and I would not be friends.

At the end of class a small girl with long curly hair approached me.

"Hi, William. I'm Jessica." I winced a little at the use of my full name. It was gonna take a bit of effort to shake it here.

"It's Liam," I corrected her.

She smiled too brightly and hovered while I gathered my things. "How long have you been in Forks?" she asked.

"I got in yesterday," I answered mechanically. She was being nice, but there was something about her that was creeping me out. She was too cheerful, too eager. My tone didn't deter her though and she followed me as I went to retrieve my jacket.

She had relatives in SoCal, I discovered, and she loved the heat there. We would have two classes together and she invited me to sit with her at lunch—all this in the five minutes it took to get to our next class. I wondered if maybe she was the annoying nerd stereotype and if now that I'd talked to her, everyone else would steer clear of me. It didn't really look likely though. She was definitely one of the prettier girls at this school, and people smiled and talked to her. She actually seemed kind of . . . popular, and so strategically, I figured it couldn't hurt to just sit with her at lunch.

When the time lunch finally rolled around, I was starving. In Phoenix we had snack machines, and I was able to grab something in between classes whenever I was hungry. But this place didn't seem to have any, or if they did, I hadn't found them yet.

We joined the queue and I loaded up a tray with food before following Jessica to a table where a few other vaguely familiar faces were sitting. She introduced me as "Liam" to everyone at the table, and I nodded and said a general "Hi" to them all. They seemed nice enough, and no one was being openly hostile, but I wasn't used to being around such friendly people and it was all just a bit weird.

They chatted and asked me questions and continued to smile way too much. After only a few minutes, I found myself glancing around, thinking maybe there were some emo kids who'd be less exhausting to sit with.

That's when I first saw them.

In the back corner of the cafeteria was a table of students who couldn't look more out of place if they tried. There were three guys, all tall and well-dressed in the type of clothes the very rich kids in Phoenix wore. The two girls were also dressed immaculately, and there was something about the way they all carried themselves that screamed wealth and superiority. One of the girls—the smaller one—stood up and carried her full tray to the trash and dumped the contents in it; definitely an eating disorder there.

I glanced back at the others and couldn't help but feel a little dislike for them. They didn't even interact with each other, just sat there posing and doing nothing else, clearly too good to mix with the rest of the student population.

"That's the Cullens," Jessica said beside me when she noticed my staring.

One of the boys, a lanky looking guy with reddish hair, turned his head and looked straight at her before glancing quickly at me and then back at the wall. It was sudden and unnerving, like he'd heard her say the name, and I was thrown by the coincidence.

"That's Edward and Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The one who left was Alice Cullen; they all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife." She said this quietly, almost as though she was worried he'd heard her, too.

The one who'd looked at us was fiddling now, tearing at a bagel and moving his lips as though speaking quickly to the others. None of them were looking at him, though, so it could have just been muttering.

Some of them were siblings but none of them looked alike; the only quality they seemed to share was looks. "Are they related by blood?" I asked, curious about their relationships despite not wanting to be. The corner of the mutterer's mouth quirked up as though he was amused.

"Oh, they're not. Dr. Cullen is really young, in his twenties or early thirties. They're all adopted. The Hales _are_ brother and sister, twins—the blondes—and they're foster children."

"But the others aren't related?"

She shook her head, and then leaned in closer to me. "They're couples, though."

I waited for her to elaborate, not sure if I understood her correctly.

"Like, the big guy and Rosalie, they're a couple. And Jasper and the small girl who left—Alice—they're a couple, too." She sat back and waited for her revelation to kick in.

All I could think was how it must be nice and convenient for them to have their girlfriends under the same roof. It wasn't nearly as shocking to me as Jessica seemed to hope. Truth is, Renée would probably let me get away with something like that if the opportunity had ever presented itself. She'd made it embarrassingly clear she was very okay with me having a girlfriend stay the night. The only reason I hadn't taken advantage of her offer was because there'd never been a girlfriend.

I glanced back at the table a few more times in between stuffing my face. Only the big guy and the blonde girl seemed to interact. The other twin looked immensely pissed off by something, and the lanky guy—the one who'd looked at us—he was seriously staring at that wall, like he was concentrating on it really hard. The whole lot of them just didn't fit in with the rest of this old-fashioned, too-cheerful town.

"Have they always lived in Forks?" I asked.

Jessica sat up straighter at the chance to talk again. "No, they just moved down two years ago from somewhere in Alaska."

Funny, I was expecting New York or maybe L.A. The lanky guy turned and looked straight at me again, although this time he held my eyes, almost like he was waiting for something. Curious. Out of habit, I lifted my chin and met the stare as though it were a challenge, and was pleased when he looked away first.

"What's the lanky guy's name?"

"That's Edward," she answered, and I could practically hear the swoon in her voice. Of course, he was the only single one, and he was attractive. She was just behaving like a girl.

His mouth pulled up as though he were scoffing. At what, I had no idea. So, his name was Edward. They way he'd been blatantly looking at me made me wonder if he was a bit of an asshole. I'd put up with enough of those in Phoenix, so I wasn't worried. The trick was never to show weakness, even if that's what you were feeling.

My attention returned to my stomach and while I ate, I tried to listen to the conversation going on around me. It was difficult. Everything was an in-joke, and they referred to people like I already knew who they were talking about, which quickly became tedious. They never had a lull in conversation, a point at which I could ask them anything; not that I was particularly interested in starting up yet another conversation I had no chance of contributing to. I glanced back over at the quiet table of students in the corner and couldn't help but compare the two groups. If I was sitting with them, at least I could eat my lunch in peace.

After a few more minutes, some of the other students began standing up and emptying their trays. My eyes were drawn to Edward's table as they all stood and disposed of their uneaten lunches, which was pretentious and wasteful. Why even get the food if you have no intention of eating it?

I waited around for Jessica and her friends, but then she informed me that Biology—the class I had next—was one we didn't share.

"Hey, you're in with us," said a blond guy with a giant, if not wary, smile. Next to him was a beautiful girl with long, dark hair and glasses. Her smile was more genuine.

We walked to class together and I patiently answered all of Mike's—he'd reminded me of his name—questions, even though he insisted on calling me Will. Charlie called me Will. I hated it.

When we arrived and entered the classroom, my companions both made their way to empty seats at lab tables, while I approached the teacher to get my slip signed. As I walked up the aisle, I recognized a tall back and reddish hair and realized Edward was in our class. He seemed to stiffen suddenly, visibly going rigid in his seat, and his face snapped around to glare at me. I passed him by, nodding internally at my earlier assessment. Asshole it is.

The teacher, Mr. Banner, signed my slip and handed me a text, then indicated that I should sit in the only empty seat in the room. The one next to _him_. Just my luck.

He was still glaring at me—all fury and malice. Even though I tried to shrug it off, something about it chilled me to the bone. I started to wonder if maybe he was a sociopath. A quick glance at his eyes and I thought I was probably on the money; they seemed too dark, black under the fluorescent lights. Even his posture was kind of menacing...

Rationality soon set in, though, and I reasoned he was probably just trying to freak me out. I was taking half his desk away, forcing him to interact with normal people, and he was just being a prick because of it. So I met his eyes again, and I quirked up the side of my mouth, all swarm. Fuck him.

He fumed, so it was with amusement that I took over half his table and ignored his asshole behavior for the rest of class. And when the bell rang, he sprung out of his seat and fled the room, and I chuckled at having not given in to my earlier fears. He was just a pretty boy who didn't get his way and was likely going off to sulk about it.

As I packed away my text and notebook with a smirk on my face, Mike made his way over to me.

"Hey, Will, what's your next class?" I sighed because he was likely going to make it his _thing_ to call me that. So long as it was only him...

I unfolded my timetable and groaned. "Gym."

"I'm headed there, too," he said, a slight trace of disappointment in his voice. I wondered if maybe he was the golden boy of sports here. Then I remembered the size of the big Cullen and reconsidered.

"I suck at gym," I admitted. "P.E. was an elective for our last two years back in Phoenix. I'd been looking forward to not having to take it."

He laughed. "How can you not like gym?" he asked, honestly looking confused.

"I don't know..." I trailed off. How could you like it? I wasn't particularly coordinated, but that wasn't the problem. Really, I just didn't enjoy sports. It was a constant source of disappointment for Charlie—that we never just sat around and watched "the game" together. Plus, playing it was... boring. And then there were the locker rooms. Why anyone wanted to get naked in front of all their friends was beyond me. And it always seemed like as soon as guys dropped trough, they dropped IQ points, too. "It's not really my thing," I finished.

He nodded and looked a little brighter for a bit, but then out of the blue, he asked, "So, did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what? I've never seen him act like that."

I glanced at Mike, looking for any trace of sarcasm and finding none. If Mike had never seen Edward act like that, chances were he wasn't just a regular asshole. If that was the case, what the hell had I done to set him off? I decided to play dumb.

"Was that the guy I sat next to in Biology?"

"Yeah." Mike shook his head slightly, as though getting his thoughts in order. "He looked like he was in pain or something."

_Pain_? I could have snorted. Pissed off, annoyed, slightly psychotic—yes, but not in pain; I didn't see any wincing. Then again, I had spent the hour determinedly not looking at him. Quite successfully.

"I wouldn't know," I responded. "I never spoke to him."

Mike nodded slightly and led the way through the gym doors. "He's a weird guy," he added before heading off to what I assumed were the dressing rooms.

The gym teacher, Coach Clapp, found me a uniform and expected me to change for—_ugh_—volleyball. I undressed in a stall, hoping that doing it from word go would just make it some weird Phoenix trait. Then, grudgingly, I made my way out onto the court and tried to look like I was participating more than I was. I did get the ball once, a sheer fluke, and sent it flying onto one of the other courts. The others did their best to keep it away from me after that.

We were allowed to finish up a few minutes early so we could change; it took me a lot longer. First, I had to find all my stuff, then get undressed, then get dressed again, then put on shoes. The locker room had cleared out by the time I was finished, and I wondered how the others did it so fast.

Just as I was feeling relieved about it being the end of the day, I remembered the stupid slips I had to drop off. So I trudged through the misty rain back to the office to deal with the receptionist once more.

"How was your day, dear?" she asked as soon as she saw who'd entered.

I smiled, because she was kind of nice in a Grandma way. "It wasn't bad," I admitted. The only real downside had been the minor run in with Edward, but I felt like I'd handled that pretty well.

"That's good to hear. We'll see you tomorrow." Again she gave me a warm smile, her eyes peering over the tops of her glasses.

"Thanks," I said, hauling my bag over my shoulder and walking out the door.

Being almost twenty minutes after school was let out, the parking lot was empty when I finally walked through it to my truck. As soon as I'd climbed in, I had the key in the ignition and the engine started, because it was effing cold and I needed that heat. After I'd warmed up a bit, I pumped the gas and scoffed at the thunderous noise that seemed to reverberate all around.

It was still better than the cruiser.

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

**A/N: Thanks to revrag for the beta and mopstyle for Liam :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to my lovely friend and beta, revrag. She encourages my nonsense and makes me smile. And thanks to everyone for the amazing feedback on the first chapter. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world.**

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

**Open Book**

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The next day, I wasn't worried about school. The newness of it had been conquered and now all I had to do was endure. I woke up with plenty of time to spare and was greeted with leftover pizza from the night before. I scoffed one slice down quickly and then held the other between my teeth as I gathered my things.

It wasn't raining as I walked out to my truck, but the sky was still thick with clouds, so I didn't think the reprieve would last long. The drive to school had a completely different vibe to the day before. This time, I knew what to expect.

Class was fine—predictable. I was fairly sure Jessica was interested in me, which was a little uncomfortable. She was pretty and all, but there was no way I could be around a chick who talked that much all the time. And laughed. It was after almost everything single thing I said, which was seriously beginning to grate on my nerves.

By lunch time, I needed a distraction. As soon as we walked through the cafeteria doors, I was glancing around the room, looking for Edward. Hating on him would give me something else to focus on, plus I needed to be prepared for what he would be like in Biology.

The others were all at their table already, but Edward wasn't. And when it was almost the end of lunch, he still hadn't shown. Mike had said he'd looked in pain—maybe there really had been something wrong with him. Maybe he hadn't meant to come across as such a dick.

The other members of his family all behaved the same as they had the day before: barely interacting, and definitely not eating. It was odd, and I tossed around the idea of asking the others about it. As soon as I was about to open my mouth though, the small girl—the one I would _definitely _have picked as an Ana—picked up the apple on her tray and bit clean into it. The movement was swift, without fanfare, and I suddenly doubted my earlier thoughts. Maybe they were eating and I just hadn't been paying much attention.

The big guy went next, picking up his pizza and taking a large bite. The blonde girl seemed to taste her pizza, but she didn't really eat any. I couldn't see the other guy's face, but it looked like he was eating now as well. There was definitely something weird about the whole scene, the way they all suddenly began moving. The big guy was smiling like a lunatic, too, and that was just odd.

My train of thought was distracted though as I abruptly felt Jessica's leg against mine. I looked at her and she glanced at me, her lips turned up into a coy smile, silently asking if I was enjoying it. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to encourage her, but I also didn't want to make her feel bad. She was a nice-looking girl, just not my type, and that wasn't her fault. Half of the other guys sitting here would probably love it if she rubbed her leg against theirs.

As soon as I realised that, I forced myself to press my calf back against hers. It was only the slightest movement, but it felt like so much more, like I had to break through a force-field to do it. My skin protested and I wanted to jerk away, but I stayed stilled and endured it, my leg unnaturally angled and weighted.

Jessica blushed slightly and let out a small, satisfied sigh. I shouldn't have done it. Now she was going to think I was interested and she would be even more attentive. I waited a few more seconds so I wouldn't insult her, and then pulled my leg back, safely tucking it under my chair and out of her reach. Jessica gave me a shy, unsure smile, almost apologetic, and I relaxed a little. Hopefully she would think it was just an accident.

In Biology, I spread out over the lab table, enjoying having the space to myself. If there was something really wrong with Edward, I might feel bad about it later, but I was glad he wasn't there. Even though I didn't like admitting it, Edward had rattled me a bit the day before, so it was nice to be able to breathe easy.

After suffering through volleyball again, I hopped in my truck and drove back to Charlie's. I made a sandwich and ate it while I flicked through the channels on TV, but when I caught a glimpse of one show, I switched it off and decided homework might be a better idea.

It was a rerun of the OC, which I hated, with a passion. It was full of awful acting and lame storylines. Everyone at school in Phoenix had had a preference for which girl they thought was hottest, and I hadn't liked any of them. One of the assholes, Darren, had looked at me like I was an idiot. I could still hear his voice, clear as day. _"When you whack off, which one makes you blow?" _I should have just ignored him, or lied right then and there. But I wanted to be able to answer him honestly. I wanted to be just like the other guys.

So I'd done it. I'd gone home and jerked off, thinking about each of the female cast and not really getting anywhere. Then I'd thought about the Seth character, and what he'd look like naked, and then what he'd look like jacking off, and I'd come. At school the next day, I'd looked Darren straight in the eyes and said, "Summer."

If it had just been one time, that might have been okay. But I thought about Seth every time I jerked off for the next few months. It was embarrassing, and that stupid show always forced me to think about it. Just remembering some of the stuff I used to imagine was giving me a semi.

I'd never admit to it, but one of the other reasons I'd wanted to come to Forks was so I could get away from all of that. On some level, I figured if I could just change schools and leave my old life, then maybe everything would be okay. I'd get past all those feelings and just be normal.

Judging from my instant reaction to Jessica, it wasn't working yet, and honestly, I don't know if I ever really expected it to.

But I didn't want to think about that.

I distracted myself by pulling out my books and switching on the old PC Charlie had gotten for me. After waiting forever for it to load, I found I had three emails, all from my mom. She really liked to talk. At home, when it was just the two of us, she used to sit beside me on the couch, fold a leg up under herself and ramble about her day. Then she'd asked me questions about mine, prying answers out of me, and finding out most of what was going on in my life. Then Phil had shown up, and she'd sat next to him instead. Even though I'd been grateful at first, now I sort of missed it.

Her first email was full of questions, and it felt nice to see them. The second email was wondering why I hadn't replied, and the last was practically a threat. I sent her a quick reply, answering all her questions and adding a few other details in, telling her about the truck and how small the school was. Then I shut down the computer and glared at the book we had to read for English—_Wuthering Heights_.

I lasted a good thirty minutes before I was thinking about other things and losing track of where I was reading on the page. Thankfully, I heard Charlie pull up, so I tossed aside the book and started heading down the stairs.

"Will?" he called out, like it would be anyone else.

"Hey, Dad," I greeted him as soon as I was out of the stairwell.

"I was thinking of getting pizza tonight. How's that sound?" He hung up his gun belt and glanced at me expectantly.

"Sounds great." Living with Renee has resulted in a lot of . . . interesting food. At least Charlie had normal taste. I switched the TV back on, and was relieved to see the OC had finished, then I handed the remote to Charlie so he could watch whatever he normally did. The pizza arrived and we ate silently while watching the news.

Charlie wiped at his face with a napkin and then cleared his throat. "So, how did you like school? Have you made any friends?"

I swallowed my food and answered, "Um, sure. There's a group of them that have been nice. Jessica, and, um, this guy Mike is all right."

"That must be Mike Newton. Nice kid—nice family. His dad owns the sporting goods store just outside of town. He makes a good living off all the backpackers who come through here." He chewed for a few more minutes. "So, you're fitting in okay?"

"Yeah, I guess." I'd never really expected to fit in, and things could have been a lot worse.

After we finished eating, I took the pizza box out to the trash while Charlie stayed watching TV. There were a few shows on that I used to watch, but I wasn't about to take over his routine. Instead, I said good night and went back up to my room to work on my math homework.

Later that night, once I was in bed, I remembered again about the images of Seth that I used to jack off to. I wanted to do it again, badly, but I also really wanted to stop being like that. For a few seconds, my hormones battled with my will, and of course, I gave in. But I was determined to do it differently.

I pictured Jessica. I thought about her pink lips and her bright eyes and her boobs and her ass. I pictured her on her back, legs spread, then changed so she was on all fours. That was better, and I worked with that for a bit, but it just wasn't enough. I knew what I needed to think about to come. I'd done it so many times before, and each time, I convinced myself I wouldn't do it again.

I swore to myself this was the very last time.

I let myself picture a guy fucking Jessica, rationalizing it wouldn't be as bad if I did it that way, with a girl still there. I focused on his ass rocking back and forth, and then his dick. My body responded the way it always did, and even though I knew I'd regret it later, I dropped Jessica out of the image completely so the guy was all alone, doing the same thing I was. When I imagined his face, I came hard through shock and desire.

It was Edward.

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

The rest of the week passed uneventfully. I was spared having to face Edward because he didn't come back to school. There were no rumours of him dying and his siblings still showed up every day, so whatever was going on probably wasn't serious.

I fell into a routine of sorts. Jessica was still too friendly, but I made sure I kept my distance. I'd noticed the further I stayed away from her, the nicer Mike was to me, so he and I were getting along well—he'd even started calling me Liam. He wasn't the type of guy I would've been friends with in Phoenix, but I couldn't exactly be picky here, and he really was all right.

By Friday, I was starting to let myself hope I'd never have to see Edward again. This sort of thing had never happened to me before—not jerking off to a guy I _knew._ (And despite my earlier promise, I had done it another couple of times.) The guys I used to think about were always famous, like that Seth character. There was a brief time when I'd thought about one of the seniors at my old school that way, and he'd starred for a few weeks, but I'd never had to talk to him. I had no experience at acting normal around a guy I . . . thought about, so it was a relief that Edward hadn't come back and I was desperately hoping he never would.

The weekend was dull. I did my own laundry, just like I used to at my mom's. After that, I got ahead on my homework, and even managed to finish _Wuthering Heights_, although I did skim most of it. Compelled by boredom, I took a drive around town to try and find something to do, but to no avail, and if anything, it made my mood worse. The rain really never stopped, and I felt like everything was put on hold for it, like I couldn't do anything until the sun came out.

By Sunday evening, I was looking forward to school.

People greeted me in the parking lot on Monday. I nodded back to them all, not always clear on who they were but not wanting to be rude. The rain had taken a break today, and even though it was still freezing, the students seemed overbearingly bright. I was too in a way, though. The boredom of the weekend was dispersed.

I made it through the pop quiz we had in English with surprising ease, and when we walked out of class, the reason for the lack of rain was clear.

"Wow," Mike said. "It's snowing."

"Great," I said sardonically. It was freezing _and _wet now.

He stopped and turned to look at me. "You don't like snow?"

I watched the small white cottony pieces drifting through the air and realized it was the first time I'd seen snow falling.

Just as I was about to tell Mike, a big heap of snow hit him in the back of the head, and I laughed because . . . it was funny.

"I like it now," I admitted.

He looked around in the direction it had come from, trying to see who'd thrown it. Eric, was quickly walking, head down, so I had my money on him. Mike seemed to think so as well, and he bent down and started heaping a ball together.

This was the sort of situation that could quickly degenerate into a real fight, so I was getting out of there. "I'll catch you at lunch," I said, and Mike barely acknowledged me, too intent on hitting his target.

The snow seemed to be some sort of highlight for the students at Forks high, and the walk between classes was littered with impromptu snow fights. I caught one in the back, but it was a soft throw, so I shrugged it off with a laugh and didn't try to retaliate.

Jessica was especially cheery today, the snowballs giving her an excuse to laugh and squeal more than usual. She was by my side for the whole walk to the cafeteria, grabbing onto my jacket and using me for protection whenever she thought someone was about to lob a snowball at her. She did it too many times for it to be innocent, and although I wasn't comfortable with the way she was squeezing my arm and clinging to my waist, I didn't say anything.

Mike caught up to us and he and Jessica rambled on and on about the ongoing snow fight as we got into line to buy food. Out of habit, I glanced in the table in the corner.

He was back.

_Shit._

Quickly, I looked away and focused on picking my food. The worst part about him showing up now was that I'd just started to think I'd never have to face him. Now that was all messed up, and I was pissed off because of it. Jessica seemed to notice the change in my mood and she kept shooting me worried looks as we walked back to our table.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly once we sat down. I nodded and focused on eating my lunch, and tried to think about how I needed to behave.

I had to act exactly like I had the last time I'd seen him, otherwise he might wonder what was different. That meant I had to be strong and put up with his shit, not cower away from him. Then I recalled how he may have just been sick the last time and maybe there would be no confronting looks. I glanced at their table again to see if he looked any different.

That was a mistake.

They were laughing. All the guys were drenched in melting snow, and Emmett was shaking his hair, getting them all wet. They looked normal—happy. The most natural I'd ever seen them behave.

And Edward looked . . . really good.

Smiling changed his face completely—made him look so much better. There was no menace about him now; he just looked like a nice guy. A really attractive, nice guy.

I felt my cheeks heat up and I looked away hastily. This was not happening. It was not happening at school, not with the guy I had to sit next to in Biology. It wasn't supposed to happen at all.

I put my head in my hands and squeezed, my appetite having vanished completely.

"Liam, what's wrong?" Jessica was fawning over me, stroking my arm. I felt sick.

"I don't feel so great," I admitted. Hopeless thoughts ran through my head about how I didn't want to have to deal with this, how I wasn't ready. I got angry about the timing, about how unfair it was that it was happening now, when I was already different enough.

And then I let myself have one last self-pitying thought. Why did it have to be _him_?

"Do you need to go home? I could walk with you to the office," she suggested.

I took a deep breath and shook my head. No one could see what I was feeling, not unless I wanted them to.

"I'll be fine," I muttered.

I did what I'd always done and pushed all the thoughts I'd had away, replacing them with a facade of normal. When Mike cracked jokes, I laughed. And when Jessica glanced at me from the corner of her eyes, I smiled. By the end of lunch, I felt completely in control. I would not show any weakness, and he would never know what I really thought about him.

I was the first student in class, so I sat down, making sure to leave plenty of room, opened my notebook and tried to look busy. Mr. Banner walked around the room, leaving a microscope and a box of slides on each lab table. The other students poured into the room, their noisy chatter an imposition on my false concentration.

The stool next to me was dragged out and the sound it made was jarring. My heart sped up, thumping in my chest and making my blood tingle. I didn't acknowledge him, just kept staring intently at my random scrawls.

"Hello," he said quietly.

I looked up, surprised that he was speaking to me. He was smiling slightly, his face relaxed and friendly, but his posture wasn't. He was tense and seemed to be sitting as far away as possible, almost like he didn't want to be close to me. His hair was dripping wet, and he had to be cold, but he wasn't shivering.

"My name is Edward Cullen," he continued. "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Liam Swan."

He was being polite now? His body didn't match his voice—it was too smooth, too controlled. He didn't look that collected, but he did look expectant.

"How do you know my name?" The last week at Forks high, almost every conversation I had started with, "I prefer Liam," or "It's just Liam."

He chuckled, an almost condescending edge to it.

"I think everyone knows your name. The whole town has been expecting you."

He smiled more this time, like he was trying to put me at ease. I didn't like how this conversation was going at all. He'd caught me off guard and my heartbeat wasn't cooperating, and now he was mocking me.

"They know me as William."

He didn't respond immediately, but his smile remained fixed in place. "But you prefer Liam," he finally said. "At least, that's what I've heard." The corner of his mouth quirked up and I looked back at my page.

Thankfully, Mr. Banner began explaining the lab we would be doing. The slides in the box were out of order and we had to sort them into the phases of mitosis and label them correctly. I'd done a similar lab back in Phoenix, so I already had some idea what I was looking for. The twenty minutes Banner was allowing us was plenty of time.

"After you, partner?" Edward asked. I looked up to see him waiting for me to proceed. "Or I could start, if you'd prefer."

I had no idea how to take this guy. "I'll start."

Showing off just a little, I snapped the first slide in place and adjusted the microscope to the 40X objective.

"Prophase," I stated.

"Do you mind if I look?" he asked. I was mid-way through pulling out the slide and his hand stopped mine for a split second before he yanked it away.

He was freezing. His hair was wet and his hands felt like ice, and yet he didn't look fazed at all. How come his lips weren't blue?

"I'm sorry," he muttered, reaching for the microscope and avoiding contact. He pulled it toward him and glanced for an even shorter time than me.

"Prophase," he agreed, writing it neatly in the first space on our worksheet. He swiftly switched out the first slide for the second, and then glanced at it fleetingly.

"Anaphase," he murmured, again writing it down on the sheet.

"Can I check?"

He looked up, smirking, and pushed the microscope in my direction. His brief flash of humor cut through the weird tension that seemed to surround us. I relaxed ever so slightly then looked through the eye-piece, hoping to be able to correct him, but unfortunately finding he was right.

"Next slide?" I held my hand out and he dropped it into my palm, not making contact this time.

I tried to be as fast as I could. "Interphase." Anticipating his request, I passed the microscope back to him without changing the slide.

He took a similarly swift peek before writing it down. His hand-writing was ridiculously tidy, almost as neat as typed italics.

We were finished well within the twenty minutes. A quick glance around the room showed we were the first. Mike and his partner were comparing two slides again and again, while another group had their book open under the table.

I went back to scribbling in my notebook, trying hard not to think about him. But I couldn't help wonder what was so different now that he was being . . . well, not nice, but not aggressive. Maybe he was just having a bad day before. I glanced up before I could help myself, only to find him staring at me, a look of pure frustration on his face.

His eyes were creepy. They were almost yellow-brown, really unnatural, definitely not the same color they were last week. Perhaps this was a lame-ass attempt to freak me out – wearing strange contacts. That was probably why he was talking to me, too, giving me the opportunity to see them.

"You got contacts," I commented casually, the slight tilt to my smile the only indication I was onto him.

At first he seemed confused, but then his brow crept up as though he was surprised and he shook his head. His body was still tense, at odds with his amused expression, and his hands were clamped into fists.

I rolled my eyes a little and went back to my notebook, ignoring his purposely weird behavior. _Whatever._

Mr. Banner came to our table then, drawn by our lack of activity. He glanced down at our completed worksheet and read through our answers.

"So, Edward, you didn't think William should get a chance with the microscope?" Mr. Banner asked.

"Liam," Edward corrected him, throwing a quick look my way. "And he identified three of the five."  
Mr. Banner turned his attention to me, his expression sceptical. "Have you done this lab before?" he asked.

I smiled sheepishly and pushed my hair out of my eyes. "Yeah, not with onion root though."

"Whitefish blastula?"

"Yeah."

"Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?"

I nodded and he seemed satisfied with my response, smiling a little. "Well," he said after a moment. "I guess it's good you two are lab partners." He continued mumbling to himself as he walked away and I went back to my notebook.

"It's too bad about the snow, isn't it?" Edward asked. It felt forced, like he was making himself talk to me, but it also seemed genuine. I looked straight at him, wanting to know why he was bothering. Why couldn't we just be lab partners and leave it at that. And then I saw the freaky contacts he'd lied about and grimaced. Why did my sub-conscious have to pick him?

Shaking my head, I answered, "Not really," then went back to drawing.

"You don't like the snow?" he asked, his voice too level.

"I don't particularly care either way," I stated.

He was still staring at me, and I could feel his eyes there, boring into the side of my head. It was uncomfortable and I just wanted him to leave me alone.

So I glared back at him challengingly, wanting him to look away first.

"Why did you move here?" he asked before I could say anything, his voice strained but his expression earnest. He looked trapped, like his body was preventing him from moving.

I answered mechanically, the only reason I would ever speak aloud. "My mom got remarried. He travelled a lot, and whenever he came back they were . . . unbearable. Living with Charlie makes sense right now."

He seemed pained by my answer, his eyes closing as he dropped his chin and leaned further away from me, and he stayed that way for the next few seconds, unmoving. I went back to my notebook and my steadfast attempt at ignoring him.

Mr. Banner called the class to order and I listened intently, relived to have something else to focus on. He showed us the different stages using transparencies on the overhead projector, explaining to the rest of the class what they should have been looking for.

When the bell rang, Edward rushed out of the room just as he had the last time I'd seen him, and my eyes followed his form. He was confusing, both the same and completely different to the guy I seen that very first day. He talked to me today, but he didn't seem to want to, and his body language was not at all welcoming.

Mike showed up suddenly at my side.

"That was awful," he groaned. "They all look exactly the same. You're lucky you had Cullen for a partner."

I shrugged and responded, "I've done it before." He waited for me while I gathered my books together, then we grabbed our raincoats and put them on, just as we had for the last week.

"Cullen seemed friendly enough today," he commented while we walked to gym.

"Yeah, he was okay," I added, not giving any hint of my own thoughts.

We made it to gym and I wasted another afternoon "playing" volleyball. The others were getting really adept at handling my part of the court, so it was only really serving that I was stuffing up now. I managed to get most of them in the right area of the court at least.

Getting changed after P.E. didn't take me as long anymore, so I was leaving with all the other students. I gratefully climbed into my old truck and got the engine going so I could warm up. Most of the students were used to the loud roar now, and only a few glanced up when it sounded.

That was when I noticed Edward Cullen standing beside the small silver Volvo I'd seen his siblings use all week. He was staring in my direction again. I glared back, annoyed by his attitude, then changed into reverse and pulled out, cutting off an old Toyota Corolla. I didn't look back.

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**A/N: So this chapter should clear up Liam's sexuality. I removed a lot of Bella's characteristics when I created Liam, but liking boys wasn't one of them. Still, even though he likes boys, he isn't convinced he'll never be attracted to girls. High school is a scary place and not many people embrace being "different" there.**

**Edward is as close to canon as I can get him, so he isn't automatically gay. I'd like to think he's open-minded though, being a mind reader and all ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry about the wait. I moved and then someone close to me passed away. I already had this chapter written so I figured I may as well post it in all its unbeta'd glory (apologies for the mistakes and Britishisms). I have every intention of continuing this story through to the end. Writing is my escapism. **

**Thank you to everyone who left a review for the last chapter and sorry I haven't answered any of them. As I mentioned, life has been a little hectic lately.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world.**

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**Phenomenon**

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The next day, I woke up to more snow and a whole lot of ice. I'd seen pictures before of ice on trees and roads, but never in real life. It was amazing to look at.

I hurried downstairs after getting dressed and found the house empty, as usual. Charlie left for his day before I'd even gotten out of bed, which I didn't mind at all. I enjoyed having the house to myself. After setting the table with cereal and juice, I proceeded to wolf down my breakfast. When I thought about heading to school today, I pictured Edward and got a heavy feeling in my stomach. His change in attitude had unnerved me, and it looked like the staring was there again. The image in my mind of him watching me leave the parking lot was burned into my brain, and I'd spent too long the night before thinking about it.

I'd had some success with not . . . acting on those thoughts. It was something I should have been proud of, but I knew I wouldn't be able to resist for long. The way I thought about Edward was the same way I'd thought about that senior. But I was smarter now. Back then, I'd taken to watching. The senior hadn't noticed but some of my friends had, and I was pretty sure Darren suspected I was different. I knew better than to stare now. Doing anything out of the ordinary just drew attention to yourself.

I wouldn't stare at Edward, and I wouldn't seek him out. I'd only talk to him if he talked to me first, and I would never try and be friends with him. If I followed those simple rules then I'd never look more than tolerant of him.

And then no one would ever have to know how I really felt.

Once again, I pictured his face, only this time his eyes stood out. There was definitely something odd going on there. Why would he wear those contacts? Why lie about them?

I finished my breakfast and left the bowl in the sink to clean up later. Still distracted by Edward's eyes, I walked out the front door and instantly slid on the icy brick driveway. I landed hard on my ass and felt like an idiot for not thinking of the ice.

From my position on the ground, I caught a glimpse of something under the truck. It was silver, reflecting the harsh light from the snow. I crawled closer and saw they were snow chains, and then realized Charlie must have put them on. It was odd, having someone do something like that for me, and I had a quick glimpse of what life might have been life if I'd grown up with him instead of Renee. Probably a lot less chaotic.

I swallowed down the sudden guilt and climbed into the truck, ready to embark on my first drive across ice-crusted roads.

On the way there, I planned for what the ice would mean at school. The paths would all be slippery, and I had no doubt Jessica was going to use me as some form of crutch whenever she could. I'd have to remember to try and avoid her, or at least make sure Mike was closer. He seemed to enjoy her pawing.

As I pulled up in the parking lot, I spotted Edward's car, his siblings all standing—posing—around it. I parked a fair distance away; not as far as I would've liked, but it would do. I climbed out and rubbed my hands together at the sudden chill after the heated cabin, and reminded myself of my rules regarding Edward: no staring, no seeking him out, only talk if he talks first.

A strange noise broke me out of my pep talk, a loud screeching that scraped through my spine. I looked up to see all the students staring in the direction of the noise, all except Edward who was staring straight at me. The noise was coming from a blue van skidding out of control, the windshield framing Tyler's horrified face. He had no control of the vehicle and it was heading toward me. That understanding forced me to act. I turned to run, hoping that somehow I'd be able to get out of its way before it killed me, yet still bracing myself for the impact.

Before I'd even managed a step, I was flung to the ground, the earth tilting away, and I thought I must have tripped. There was no time to dwell on it though as the sound of metal connecting with metal ripped through my ears and I looked to see the van still closing in, the collision only serving to change its direction, and I began to scramble, barely able move through my sudden panic.

An oath was muttered from beside me and I realized I wasn't alone, that somehow, impossibly, Edward was next to me. My eyes snapped to him just in time to see him thrust out his hands as if he could stop the van from killing us both. The metal groaned and buckled around his hands, glass shattered and rained down around us, and after what felt like minutes, the van finally stopped.

There was a split second of absolute silence.

Then there was screaming.

Edward turned to me, his face wary, his eyes dark and piercing. I knew I'd just seen something I shouldn't have. He wasn't normal and it didn't escape me that he wouldn't want me to know that. His face darkened and I could see the threat in his expression, the warning that this was serious. Panicked, I began shaking my head back and forth, trying to inch back along the ground away from him.

"I won't say anything," I said, my voice quiet and unsteady, unable to say more as there were students approaching.

His eyes held mine for a moment and then he turned, his hand going to his hair and clamping around an unfortunate tuft. A few of my classmates were beside me then and it helped bring me back to reality, abating some of the ice-cold chill Edward's behavior had left in my spine.

Edward spun back and his face had changed completely, now appearing concerned—an act for the sake of those around us. He leaned down next to me and in a stilted voice asked, "Are you okay, Liam?"

I checked for injuries, unable to find any except a slight scrape on my palm. There was hardly any blood.

"I'm fine," I answered.

As soon as the words left my mouth, Edward retreated to the side of the van, perhaps to check on Tyler, and I was surrounded by the few students I knew well, and many I didn't. I brushed off their comments, my eyes seeking Edward again. He was next to Tyler's broken window, looking nauseous, almost like when I'd seen him in class that first day.

His eyes caught mine again and he no longer looked menacing, instead weak, and I wondered if he was in shock. Then I wanted to laugh at how ridiculous that was. The guy stopped an out-of-control van with his bare hands, it was highly unlikely he'd suffer from normal human maladies. Some teachers approached and Edward ducked out of the way so they could try to free Tyler, and then he disappeared from my sight.

Shortly after, the ambulances arrived and the EMTs went to work getting Tyler out of the van and onto a stretcher. He looked terrible, all covered in blood, so when they insisted that I also needed a stretcher, I scoffed.

"I'm okay," I argued. Tyler was the one they needed to worry about.

"We were told you hit your head. In that case, you might have a concussion. Better to be safe than sorry."

So someone had told them I'd hit my head. I had no doubt it was Edward.

They put a neck brace on me and were just starting to load me into the back of the ambulance when Charlie arrived. His face was blanched and worried, and he walked right up to the stretcher and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Will?"

"I'm okay," I explained, again, but suddenly I didn't feel so great. Seeing my dad like that made me realize just how close I'd come to not being okay. He would've heard the report and come flying to the scene, only to find me on a stretcher.

He still looked sceptical, so he spoke to the closest EMT and nodded as he was told the details. His eyes glanced back to me a couple of times and I had to look away. I didn't like seeing Charlie scared.

After he was finished, the doors were closed and Charlie gave us an escort to the hospital. They unloaded me and I was wheeled into a long room separated with curtains. They hadn't drawn the ones around me before leaving, so I waited, feeling self-conscious.

A minute later, there was a rumble of noise from out in the hall and then a group of hospital staff appeared and pushed a new arrival into the space next to me. It was Tyler, although I could barely recognise him under all the blood and bandages. He looked so damn guilty when he saw me.

"Liam, I'm so sorry!"

"I'm fine. I'm not hurt at all." Tyler began to shake his head but it must have hurt because he stopped and winced. "Are you okay?" I asked.

One of the nurses began to work on him, removing the bandages and exposing the slice-like wounds over his face.

"I thought I was going to kill you! I was going too fast, and I hit the ice wrong . . ." He shrunk away as the nurse started dabbing at his face.

"Well, you didn't hit me, so stop worrying about it."

"How did you get out of the way so fast? You were there, and then you were gone . . ."

Tyler hadn't seen Edward. He should have, but he hadn't. Then again, Edward hadn't been there to begin with.

He was fast.

"Edward. He pushed me out of the way," I answered as the chill returned.

Tyler looked confused. "Who?"

"Edward Cullen—he was standing next to me." I swallowed thickly through the lie. I couldn't pretend like Edward hadn't been there. People had seen him.

"Cullen? I didn't see him . . . wow, it was all so fast, I guess. Is he okay?"

"I think so."

I relaxed slightly when Tyler didn't question me further and allowed myself to think about what had really happened.

Edward had somehow managed to get from his car to me before Tyler's van hit. Then he'd stopped the van with his hands. He had to have some kind of superhuman speed and strength to do something like that. Supernatural power?

Either that or I was certifiable.

A nurse came in and wheeled me away to X-ray my head. They couldn't find anything, not even a concussion, so I assumed I'd be able to leave.

"You have to be seen by a doctor first," she replied.

I was wheeled back to the room next to Tyler and he went through another round of unnecessary apologies until I explained that I really was fine. Instead he told me how much his face and neck hurt and how he was never driving without chains again.

It could have easily been me. If Charlie hadn't gotten up before the sun and put them on my truck, I could have been the one who lost it on the ice.

Tyler continued to mumble but my mind was wandering back to the accident again—back to Edward. Then I looked toward the doorway and he was standing there, staring at me.

His eyes were trained on my face, his body rigid and menacing. Strong and powerful. When he entered, I shrank down into the bed, almost automatically. Now that I knew his secrets, I had no idea what his intentions were.

"Hey, Edward, I'm really sorry—" Tyler began.

Edward softened, a slight smile appearing on his face, his hands casually tapping his chest.

"No blood, no foul," he said, revealing his teeth. He moved fluidly through the room and sat on the end of Tyler's bed, facing me. The smile disappeared.

"So, what's the verdict?" he asked me.

"There's nothing wrong with me. X-rays were clear. I'm just waiting to see a doctor now." With a glance at Tyler, I added, "How about you?"

"In perfect shape," he answered offhandedly. "I've already been seen by a doctor." He looked at the door and a moment later, a blond man in a white coat walked through. He was pale, like Edward, although he had dark smudges under his eyes, like he hadn't slept much. He smiled at Edward and I remember how his father worked at the hospital. This had to be him.

"So, William—or Liam, as I've been told." His eyes flicked to Edward's in amusement. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I answered, not taking my eyes of the both of them.

Dr. Cullen walked to the lightboard and turned it on, then examined the X-rays in his hands one at a time.

"Your X-rays look good," he said. "Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard."

I glanced at Edward as I said, "Not anymore." I lifted my chin a little and showed him that I could play along. I wasn't going to argue with what he'd told them. His secrets were safe with me.

Dr. Cullen began to gently examine my skull, asking me whether anything was tender. I pretended to wince and then heard a chuckle, so I looked over to see Edward's amusement. Maybe I had taken it a bit too far. I rolled my eyes at myself and smiled back and he just stared at me, almost as though he was surprised, or confused. Feeling ridiculous for thinking I could joke around with him, I lowered my face and examined the hospital blanket.

When the doctor finished, he wrote a few more notes down on my chart. "Well, your father is in the waiting room—you can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all." He appeared to be smirking a little, as though he knew I was faking. I wondered if Edward had told him everything. Surely he must know his son had those . . . powers, right?

And that's when I noticed Dr. Cullen's eyes. They were the same weird yellow-brown color as Edward's had been at school the day before. I glanced back at Edward and saw they were that way again, even though just an hour before they were darker.

Dr. Cullen must have noticed my change in demeanour, because he very carefully said, "It sounds like you were extremely lucky today." He stared at me intently, as though he was trying to send me some kind of message.

I nodded because I agreed with him. Sort of. "Yeah," I said. "Edward saved my life." Gratefully, I glanced at Edward. "Thank you."

He smiled but his eyes were sad. "It was nothing."

Doctor Cullen seemed satisfied with what I'd said and then he turned around and patted Edward on the shoulder. His lips moved and Edward seemed to check on me before doing the same. They were talking, I was sure of it. Too quiet for us to hear. Too fast for us to catch.

Doctor Cullen was the same as Edward.

Whatever Dr. Cullen said seemed to cheer Edward up, and he rose from the bed looking slightly less broody.

"Are you coming?" he asked after a moment.

He was waiting for me. I muttered a quick "Thanks" to Dr. Cullen and "Good luck" to Tyler as I climbed out of the bed, then stood there awkward and nervous.

Edward turned and led the way out of the ER and down a long hall, passing more rooms and trolleys and nurses. He even walked fast, and I had to speed up to walk beside him. Once he noticed, he slowed down.

There was so much I wanted to say, to ask, but I didn't know what was allowed. Instead, I settled for what I'd already said.

"Thanks for . . . doing that. And I meant it when I said I wouldn't tell anyone. I won't say a thing. You can trust me."

He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes, the same frustrated look on his face that he often had at school. "I wish I knew that for sure."

I gave him an apologetic smile. "I guess you can't. But you saved my life. It's the least I can do, right?"

He didn't say anything, just tightened his lips and kept walking. We turned the corner and were met with a waiting room full of Forks High students.

Charlie was the first out of the pack. "Everything okay?" he asked.

I nodded and he looked relieved. He glanced around the full room. "You ready to go home?"

"Yeah," I answered, and Charlie started steering us toward the exit. Edward wasn't following and something didn't feel right. Our whole interaction had been . . . inadequate.

"Wait up," I said quickly to Charlie, then turned back to face Edward. "Thanks again," I muttered.

He smiled. "I'm glad you're all right." He took a very deliberate breath, then turned and headed back through the doors, away from the prying students.

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	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for all the kinds words and support. You're all lovely. Apologies again for not responding to reviews. This time around I will. **

**This chapter is unbeta'd as well. If the mistakes really annoy any of you let me know and I'll start sending them to revvy again.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world.**

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**Invitations**

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The month following the accident was . . . tense.

I had way too many people smiling and saying hello. It was like everyone felt they knew me after the accident. Tyler didn't seem to suffer the same treatment when he came back to school, instead adding to the group of people who seemed to be everywhere I was going. He was always checking on me too, asking if I needed anything. It was weird.

Jessica was well meaning but almost unbearable. She spent the week after the accident constantly reminding everyone of how close I'd come to dying. She used it as an excuse to put her hand on my forearm or maybe my back, and I guessed she was trying to tell me how glad she was I hadn't died. But it was awkward. I didn't feel anything for Jessica and I just wished I could come right out and tell her she should be with Mike, but I never did. I was too worried people would wonder why I didn't like her. So instead, I gave Mike an apologetic look every time Jessica's hands found me, and felt guilty for misleading her.

No one was fawning over Edward. If I didn't know there was something different about him, I would've been trying to convince everyone to go and hang around him. But after what I'd seen, I knew that was a bad idea—you don't piss off someone with superhuman powers. Over the first couple of weeks, I began to notice how he went out of his way not to interact with the other students. It all made more sense to me now. It wasn't that he thought he was so much better than them—it was that he needed to protect himself. Or so I assumed.

I was watching him too much, I knew that, but I needed to know more about him. I wanted to figure out what he was and what he was capable of, and whether his siblings were the same. Dr. Cullen had to be, what with the same eyes and that knowing grin on his face. The first day I thought to look at the others, I managed to catch a glimpse of the blond girl's eyes before she practically hissed at me. Hers were dark, not yellow-brown. Since then, I hadn't been able to get close enough to any of the others to check. In fact, it had been so difficult, I was beginning to wonder if maybe they suspected I was trying to do and were purposely staying out of my path.

In class, Edward barely acknowledged me.

He sat as far away from me as possible and stared at the board, and every now and then he would grip the desk or squeeze his hands into fists, and I would wonder if he was going to do any damage—to the desk or me. Eventually he'd get himself under control and then his hands would relax. Sometimes he'd run them along his thighs, or through his hair. He had to know I was staring, that during Biology my thoughts were completely preoccupied with him, but not once did he acknowledge me or what had happened.

At first, even though it was stupid, I'd felt let down over it. At the hospital, just before I'd left, I'd thought that we'd kind of . . . I don't know, got each other. So the next day in Biology, when I'd sat down next to him, I'd said, "Hey."

He'd nodded slightly, barely, and that was it. Then he'd stared straight at the board as though I wasn't even there, and I'd spent the rest of class trying to figure out why he would ignore me. I had thought he'd understood I was going to keep his secret and that he didn't have to worry about it, but his behavior showed he still didn't trust me.

I continued to think about him too much. There was a lot less of the "thinking" I used to do, and a whole lot more wondering about who, or what, he was. Did he have other powers? What were they? For a while, I was worried that maybe he could become invisible, that he could be at my home and know what I was doing. After a few hours of that torture, I realized if he could make himself disappear, he would have done it when he saved me from the van.

The weeks went by like that, me spending most of my waking hours trying to figure him out and the rest faithfully keeping his secret. My preoccupation meant I completely missed the talk and posters mentioning the spring dance, so when Jessica approached me in the parking lot on the first Tuesday in March, it felt like I was blindsided.

"You want to what?" I asked, stunned by her words.

"I said . . . do you want to come to the spring dance with me? It's girls' choice." She smiled a little wider but I could see the uncertainty seeping into her expression.

I couldn't go to that dance with Jessica. She'd expect me to be with her if I did that. She'd want to dance and probably kiss, and I just wasn't capable of leading her on like that. I glanced around the parking lot and spotted Mike, his back to us as he talked to Eric. He was the other reason I couldn't say yes.

Jess was being brave, keeping her smile plastered on even though I hadn't given her an answer yet. I couldn't outright turn her down, not without upsetting her and possibly drawing suspicion to myself.

"Ah . . . when is it?"

She brightened. "Saturday week!"

I looked down at my feet. "I'm . . . going to be out of town that day. Sorry, Jess, I can't go."

"Oh, okay." I looked up and caught her eye, seeing the brief confusion, the disappointment. She nodded and began to turn away but I reached out and stopped her.

"Um . . . maybe you should ask Mike?" I tried to smile like Edward, the one he used that seemed to get people to do whatever he wanted.

She searched my face, and smiled back. Whether it was because I looked ridiculous or it worked, I didn't know.

"Yeah, okay. Maybe I will," she answered.

In trig, I was relieved when Jessica still sat next to me. She was a lot less flirty and we just talked about normal things and did our work. She didn't mention the van or try to touch me. We were a lot more relaxed and it was nice.

Now that I was aware of the dance, I could literally hear the buzz around school. Lunch was filled with people excitedly planning dates and rides, but I kept my head down so they didn't expect me to participate. At the end of lunch, I watched as Jessica approached Mike and smiled to myself as I left the table.

I walked to Biology by myself and when I entered the class, I saw Edward already in his seat as per usual. As I sat down, I looked directly at him, a silent greeting, then began pulling out my books.

Mike came over and perched himself on our lab table, a grin on his face. "So," he said, unable to hide his excitement. "Jessica asked me to the spring dance."

"That's great." I smiled before dumping my bag on the floor.

He picked up one of my pencils and began balancing it on his finger. "I thought she was going to ask you." He paused and I wondered if he was fishing for me to tell him what had happened. I didn't say anything.

"Any idea who you might be going with?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I'm not going."

"Why not?" he asked, honestly confused.

"I'm going to be out of town that day."

Jessica had been too rejected to push for details, but Mike had nothing holding him back. "Where?"

"Seattle," I answered, thinking it was far enough away for a day trip.

"Can't you go some other weekend?"

"No, it has to be that weekend," I answered, and Mike looked less than convinced. He was just about to keep going when I snapped, "Look, I suck at dancing, okay," hoping it would get him off my back.

He grinned, and then laughed before standing up and heading back to his own table.

I let out a relieved breath just as Mr. Banner cleared his throat to start addressing the class. From the corner of my eye, I glanced at Edward and found him staring at me, the same frustrated edge to his expression that he'd had at the hospital. I stared back, not wanting him to think I was weak, and willed my tear ducts to cooperate. I focused on the shape of his eyes, and their color. Black today. They'd been getting darker.

"Mr. Cullen?" Banner's voice interrupted us. He was waiting on an answer and I had no idea he'd even asked a question.

"The Krebs Cycle," Edward answered casually as he turned his attention back to the board.

Of course he knew the answer.

I wondered if I was just deaf, if I was the only one in our bizarre stand-off who stopped paying attention to everything else. But then this was Edward. I was allowed to dream up impossible solutions to explain his behavior.

Super hearing? I'd already determined he probably had that, with the way he and Dr. Cullen seemed to be talking in the ER. Could he still hear something even if he wasn't listening though?

With horror, another option occurred to me. _Mind-reading_. What if Edward could read minds? I looked at him, terrified of the implications if he could.

Did he know?

When he felt my eyes, he turned back toward me, again examining my face. He didn't seem particularly annoyed or shocked, the reactions I'd expect if he just heard me figure out what he could do. Instead he looked a little guilty.

_"You're an asshole,"_ I thought clearly and distinctly.

No reaction. He just kept staring, his jaw set, his lips drawn in a tight line. He looked really good. Every now and then it still hit me.

Feeling more confident, I took another deep breath and held it, then kept my face still.

_"I wish you liked me."_

Again, he didn't move, so I slowly let out the breath. Not a mind-reader, I concluded.

For the rest of the hour, I imagined other ways I could test him to see what he was capable of. I considered speaking lowly, saying something gross or funny and getting a reaction, but the thought he would ignore it and leave me feeling foolish held me back.

At the end of class, Edward didn't leave straight away as he had been. I began packing away my things, pretending not to notice.

"Liam?"

Funny how before his voice hadn't struck me as anything other than normal. Now it seemed obvious he was different just from his words alone.

I turned to face him, just as it occurred to me perhaps he had heard me after all. "Yeah?"

His brow was furrowed. "I'm sorry. I know I'm being rude, but it's better this way, really." He sounded sincere, but it wasn't enough.

"I told you I wouldn't say anything," I said, somehow wanting him to acknowledge that I hadn't.

"You did, and I now have reason to believe you won't."

I scrunched my face up, confused by his comment. His mouth quirked up and I hated how he was amused by what I didn't know.

"Regardless," he added, "we still can't be friends. The less we have to do with each other, the better."

My face dropped, I couldn't help it. It wasn't like I'd imagined us being best friends or anything. Well, not often anyway. But here he was just shooting me down. "Why?"

He lowered his face and glared at me. "Why do you want to?"

Looking away, I started gathering my things, because I wasn't even sure of the answer to that. I started stuffing my books into my bag but accidentally nudged one off the table. When I went to retrieve it, I saw it sitting, nestled in Edward's hand. He'd moved from the stool and caught the book before it had hit the ground.

I reached out tentatively to take it, unable to hide the slight tremor in my hand. Thinking he was super fast and seeing it firsthand were two different things, and my body wasn't ready to accept what it had just seen.

Edward held the book out to me, patiently waiting for me to acknowledge what he'd done. I glanced at his face and as soon as he had my attention, he spoke.

"You know why we can't be friends."

Nodding, I took my book from his hand and once again felt the icy chill of his skin. That small detail also took on a greater meaning. Icy skin meant he wasn't warm-blooded.

I hadn't really understood why we couldn't be friends a second ago, but I did now.

Edward wasn't human.

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I was useless in gym, completely distracted by my latest realizations about Edward. When class finished, I was ready to go home and think some more.

I kept my head down all the way to the truck and looked up just in time to see Lauren, one of Jessica's friends, leaning against my door. At first I was confused as to why she was there, but then I remembered the dance.

"Hi, Lauren," I greeted her.

She tilted her head to the side and stuck her chest out a bit. "Hi."

I'd never thought of Jess as being particularly subtle, but compared to Lauren, she was.

"What's up?" I asked, hoping to get it over and done with.

She smiled and bit on her lip coyly. "So, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the spring dance with me."

"I can't. I'm going to be out of town that day."

She pouted, pretending to be hurt. "I heard that, but then I thought maybe you were letting Jessica down easy."

It was difficult to keep my face neutral. I was letting Jessica down easy, but not so I could go with someone else.

"No, I really can't go." I reached for the handle, hoping to send a message to Lauren that I was done, but she didn't move. My hand brushed against her waist and I drew it back quickly, not wanting her to think I did it on purpose.

She didn't flinch, but her expression changed. She stared at me, questioningly, and then the slightest hint of a smile appeared.

"Maybe next time." She pushed off my truck and walked back across the lot to where a few of her other friends were standing.

I didn't like the way she'd looked at me. It was as though she suspected the real reason I wasn't going, and that scared me. As I climbed into my car, I told myself it was just because she was being mean. The look was supposed to unnerve me, and I wouldn't let it.

I started my truck and slowly pulled out of my spot. Out of habit, I looked toward Edward's car and saw him standing there, only this time he was looking straight at me. He looked concerned, but when my eyes met his, he softened. Coming from Edward, that was as good as a wave goodbye.

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**A/N: Hopefully see you soon.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you again for all the feedback and support for this story. You guys are amazing. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world.**

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**Blood Type**

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That afternoon I went straight home, slumped on the couch, and finally had the peace and quiet I needed to comprehend what I'd learned about Edward. He'd been warning me to stay away from him, letting me know in no uncertain terms that we could never be friends. Then he'd shown me part of what he was capable of, again.

Even though it was only a couple of hours since it had all happened, my mind was already questioning what I'd seen, asking if his movements really were that fast, or if his skin really was that cold. If I hadn't already come across these . . . _traits_ of Edward's, then I probably would have rationalised the whole experience away. But I _knew_ he was fast—the fact I was alive was proof of that. And even now I could still feel the chill of his skin on my hand.

I'd been imagining Edward as some kind of . . . super human—someone with incredible strength and speed and senses, but human nonetheless. Now I didn't know what to think. If he wasn't human, what was he?

Struck by a sudden sense of purpose, I lifted myself off the couch and took the stairs two at a time to get to my room. I powered-up the old computer and, knowing it would take a little while to get started, headed back downstairs to fix myself a sandwich and grab my things. I returned to my room a few minutes later, sandwich and bag in hand, ready to begin finding out.

I brought up a search engine and took a bite while I tried to figure out what I should be looking for. He had to be something supernatural, but also something . . . humanoid? I had a go at typing in those words and wrote down a few ideas. Then I moved on to "mythology" and "human form" and added a few more. After about half an hour of painstakingly slow searching and keeping as open-minded as possible, I had a very short list of things that Edward could possibly be:

_Alien_

_Demon_

_Angel_

_Vampire_

_Ghost_

_Fairy or Elf_

_Werewolf_

It was everything I'd come across that could appear human. I stared at the list intently. Which one was he?

I didn't like including alien, mostly because I knew the odds of another life form in the universe having the same appearance as ours were astronomically long. After a small debate, I decided it was possible they could throw out some illusion to look like us, so they stayed.

Demon didn't seem likely. Although it kind of fit his mannerisms it just didn't fit with the whole life-saving thing. If he was a demon, surely he would have just let me die that day rather than revealing himself. Protecting the meek seemed more like the domain of angels.

Vampire? Wasn't there something about how they couldn't go in sunlight? I was purposely being open-minded because it was unlikely there was an accurate description of what Edward was anywhere, but vampire seemed like too much of a stretch. Why would a vampire save my life?

Ghost? I'd struggled with including that one. Was it possible for a ghost to have substance? Could they have superhuman strength?

Fairy or Elf? They had both come up in my search and seemed to cover almost anything human-like with magical powers. Some of the Elves had pointed ears but earlier depictions didn't—same with the modern fairy and its wings. Both could be bad or good, tall or short, beautiful or misshapen. Anything really.

Werewolf was added as an afterthought. They were described as living beings, so it was unlikely they'd have freezing cold skin. But according to the site I'd looked up, they had strength and speed and highly developed senses—all attributes that Edward seemed to share—so they made the cut. The site even listed a couple of archaic methods for testing if someone was a werewolf. You could cut them open and see if there was fur inside the wound, or you could look under their tongue and see if there were bristles there. I had a brief image of myself asking Edward to open his mouth so I could look inside. Even just thinking of doing something like that made me feel ridiculous. As if he'd ever let me get that close to him.

And it was pointless anyway. He wouldn't have bristles in his mouth, I was certain of that. His mouth would be perfect, just like the rest of him.

I exhaled and leaned back in my chair. With Edward, I was starting to have thoughts I'd never had before. Like kissing. When I'd thought about other guys, it was about them getting off. I always stopped myself from anything more because . . . that would be giving in. Like, if I went there, I'd never be able to return.

With Edward, I couldn't really control it. About a week ago, I'd thought of us together—him kissing me with that same intensity he always seemed to have. The couple of times I did think about Edward while jerking off now, that's what I pictured. Him wanting me. I knew it wasn't real and I knew it would never happen, which is why I only let my mind go there every now and then.

I shook my head a little to clear it.

I stared at my list again, weighing each option and unable to see past one that seemed to stand out well above the others. If he was any of these things, it had to be an angel. Probably not in the religious sense, more like a good demon. Someone who was here to help stop bad things from happening.

That conclusion made me feel better, because maybe that's why I felt differently about him. Maybe it had nothing at all to do with him being a guy and was just because Edward really was perfect.

My attempt to lie to myself didn't work at all. I knew the truth, as much as I didn't want to admit it. I knew that if Jessica was the angel who saved me that day, it wouldn't change that fact that I wasn't attracted to her. And I was starting to accept the idea that I probably never would be.

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The next morning, when I caught a glimpse of the list I'd made, I ripped it into tiny little pieces and threw it in the trash. Everything had seemed so clear the night before, but now I wasn't so sure. It was difficult to override years of reading sci-fi _fiction_ and suddenly start believing those ideas were reality. And after a good sleep, everything seemed a little less weird. I knew there was still something about Edward that wasn't human, but to think it could be one of the . . . _things_ on my list felt idiotic. Juvenile.

At school, the morning was comfortably normal. Jess really was paying way more attention to Mike than me now, so I didn't have to worry about giving her the wrong idea or pissing him off anymore. I spent the morning talking to people and getting through class and after second period, it occurred to me that I felt like I fit in. I knew how to get everywhere and I knew people's names. Nothing was catching me off-guard anymore.

That feeling was interrupted at lunch. I was used to Edward and his way of ignoring me and everyone else. What threw me was that today, he wasn't ignoring me. He was sitting with his family, as usual, but he was looking straight at me. It was just like my first day at Forks High. He was staring, trying to figure me out or something. His eyes flicked over a few other people at the table, maybe Jess and Mike, but they came back and settled on me. My surprise quickly gave way to annoyance. He was the one who set our boundaries after the accident. Why did he think he could start doing this now?

I gave him a dirty look and turned my attention back to the people who were my _friends_. Jess was sitting in between me and Mike, and I was certain if I looked under the table, her leg would be pressed against his now. They looked happy, both smiling and laughing, and I felt a small stab of envy. I wasn't going to have that here. Probably wouldn't have it until college.

"So who's in?" Mike asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

Earlier today he'd been talking about the weather report for this weekend, trying to drum up enthusiasm for a trip to First Beach. Jess was the first to say she was going and just about everyone else at the table followed suit.

"Liam?" he asked me directly.

"Sure." He grinned at me and I smiled back.

I shouldn't have looked, but Edward was like a magnet for me. It was only supposed to be a glance, but I got stuck trying to figure out what was going on. Edward wasn't staring at me anymore, instead his gaze was fixed on his sister, Alice—the small one with the black hair, and so were the others. Then I saw Edward's lips moving the tiniest amount and I realized he was doing that fast talking thing. Knowing that changed the whole scene. He looked serious, almost angry, so I assumed something was up. Alice wasn't responding at all which was probably just making him madder. I admired her balls.

She looked straight at me, her eyes meeting mine. Even from across the cafeteria I could see they weren't black. She smiled warmly and glanced back at Edward who paused and sat back in his chair, like he was just going to wait for her response.

Then Alice glanced quickly at Lauren. I looked at Lauren as well and my movement caught her eye. Awkwardly, I smiled when she caught me and pretended to listen to Mike for a second. When I turned my attention back to the Cullens, Alice had a strange look on her face, like she'd zoned out for a bit.

Edward's eyes met mine again, and his expression was hard to understand. Was he worried? I shrugged at him, giving him a look that very clearly asked what the hell was going on, but all that did was seem to make it worse. His brow drew down and he almost looked in pain, then he turned back to his family and stared at his sister instead.

"What's going on?" Jess asked, looking between me and the Cullens' table.

"Nothing," I answered checking to see who else had been watching me. Lauren's eyes were fixed on her salad but I was willing to bet money she'd seen me shrugging at Edward. "He looked like he wanted to ask me something," I said, loud enough that Lauren would be able to overhear, "but I couldn't figure out what."

"He should just come over and ask you," Jessica muttered, throwing a disapproving look Edward's way.

I smiled gratefully at her and didn't bother pointing out that he would never do that.

When the bell rang, I gathered my things to head to class and glanced in his direction once more. He hadn't moved. He was still sitting there, staring intently at the table in front of him. He was always in class before me, so I was surprised. I kept my eyes on him for too long and when he looked up, he caught me staring. He was still pained by whatever it was going through his head.

He looked like there was something really wrong. Then I worried that maybe somehow he knew what I'd been up to—about the list. I felt bad then, guilty that I'd even made it. I didn't want him to think I was trying to cause trouble, because I wasn't.

I turned and walked away, reassuring myself that he couldn't know and that there were a million other things he could be upset about anything. When I reached our classroom, I entered and took my seat, then waited for Edward to show. A few minutes later Mr. Banner came in juggling a few small cardboard boxes and put them down on Mike's table to be handed around. By that stage, I was starting to think Edward wasn't coming to class at all.

"Okay, guys, I want you all to take one piece from each box," Mr. Banner said as he pulled on a pulled a pair of rubber gloves from the pocket of his lab jacket and pulled them on. "The first should be an indicator card." He held up a white card with four squares marked on it. "The second is a four-pronged applicator—," he held that up, "—and the third is a sterile lancet." He opened the small piece of blue plastic and revealed the implement.

"I'll be coming around with a dropper of water to prepare your cards so please don't start until I get to you." He began placing drops of water on Mike's card. "Then I want you to carefully prick your finger with the lancet . . . ." He used Mike to demonstrate, and I had to hand it to Mike, he barely winced. The boxes had made their way to my table so I pulled out one of each of the items and handed them back to the table behind me.

"Put a small drop of blood on each of the prongs and then apply it to the card." He gently squeezed Mike's finger and added a small drop of blood to each of the prongs, then he pressed that onto the card. When he was finished, he held it up and showed how each drop was in one of the four squares.

"The Red Cross is having a blood drive in Port Angeles next weekend, so I thought you should all know your blood type. Those of you who aren't eighteen yet will need a parent's permission—I have slips on my desk."

I stared at the blue packet and willed myself to be able to do this. When I was younger, I wasn't able to handle blood at all. Sometimes I'd even faint. There was a kid who was in my year, Brad, and he was a bit of a prick. No one really liked him because he was kind of indiscriminately mean. Anyway, his last name was Swanson so he was behind me when we were in line to get our Tetanus booster at school. I'd felt like I was going to be sick, and then when I'd gotten close enough to see what was happening, I'd taken one look at the small drop of blood and then everything had gone cold and I'd woken up on the ground with one of the nurses hovering over me. Brad had never let me live it down. He'd called me either wimp or sissy until he moved two years later.

When I'd first realized I was a bit . . . different, I'd thought maybe the blood thing was a symptom or something. So I'd worked really hard at desensitising myself to it. For the most part it worked—I could be around blood without passing out. The thought of sticking that lance into myself was pushing it though.

Carefully, I opened the plastic and pulled out the small metal and plastic object. I removed the safety cover and stared at the tip and told myself how it would only take a second and then it would all be over. My breathing picked up and I knew I was on the cusp. I had to calm down or I wouldn't be able to do this.

Mr. Banner was only a few students away from me and I focused on watching him. He was helping one of the girls apply her blood to the prongs and the room swirled for a second until I shut my eyes. I didn't want to have to admit defeat. I had to be able to do this.

In my mind, I tried to picture something else. Of course the image that came to me was of Edward, of his face when I'd last seen him in the cafeteria. I swallowed and tried to think of something else, because he wasn't helping. There was too much uncertainty there.

"Are you all right, Liam?"

I opened my eyes to see Mr. Banner in front of me, concern all over his face. Weakly, I nodded.

"Are you feeling faint?"

I took a deep breath and shook my head. Having him here made me feel better, less panicked.

Swallowing some pride, I spoke quietly. "I don't think I can use the lancet."

Mr. Banner smiled, not a trace of disappointment on his face. "I want you to stare over at the far wall and concentrate on the chart depicting the different species."

He picked up my hand and I looked at the wall and stared, knowing full well what he was about to do. I told myself I was okay with it though. He was competent, experienced. I'd just seen him do the same thing to Mike. I concentrated on the chart and felt the sharp pain that told me he'd finished.

"Are you all right with the rest of it?" he asked.

Again I took a deep breath, then I turned back and looked straight at the perfect red circle on the tip of my finger. Although I felt a little sick, I didn't feel like I was going to faint, so I nodded.

"Thanks."

"Call out if you need some help."

He moved on to the next lab table and I quickly stuck each prong into the little pool before I lost control again. I pressed it to the card and then headed to the sink to wash off what was left. There was no way I could stick it in my mouth like most of the other students were doing. The smell was revolting enough.

When I got back to my table, I pushed aside the assignment and put my head on my arms, staring at the wall. Edward's empty seat stared back. Why hadn't he come to class? And what was that look all about?

"Can someone take Lee to the nurse, please?" Mr. Banner asked. I looked over at Lee Stephens to see his head down, his skin sallow. Just like I probably looked a minute ago.

"I can take him," Mike said as he stood up quickly. He lined up next to Lee and took his arm over his shoulder to support him. Lee looked like he might be sick at any moment, so I felt a lot more respect for Mike. He hadn't hesitated to volunteer.

Mike carefully walked Lee out of the room and when they were gone, Mr. Banner began describing how we could determine our blood types. I already knew mine, so all the card did was confirm that. A short while after Mike returned, the bell rang and it was time to head to gym. Mike and I walked together.

"We're all gonna meet at my dad's store at 10am. You wanna ride with us?" he asked me almost straight away.

I had no idea what he was talking about "Where?"

"First Beach. Remember, we're going this weekend."

"Oh, yeah." I'd forgotten all about it with the blood typing. "Thanks." I probably could have found my way there but it would be a lot easier to go with Mike.

I got through gym and even enjoyed it a bit. We were playing basketball, and while I avoided the ball, it still felt good to run up and down the court. I managed to get rid of some of the heavy feeling I'd been carrying around since Biology.

We finished up a little early so we could get changed. These days it didn't take me any longer than the others so I was leaving at the same time as everyone else. We were the first class out and Mike said he was going to hang around undercover to wait for Jess. We exchanged a "see you later" and I headed out into the misty rain toward my truck.

When I walked past Edward's car, I did my best to ignore him and the way his eyes followed me. Then I remembered he hadn't been in class and I glanced back. He looked away and stared in the direction of the approaching students. His car was in the same spot as this morning so I wondered if he'd just sat in it all this time.

Why hadn't he come to Biology?

I unlocked my door and climbed into my truck, unable to shake the feeling that I had something to do with Edward skipping class. It was a little self-absorbed, but he'd been staring at me at lunch—something he hadn't done in months—and then he didn't show up.

His siblings were walking toward the parking lot now and I watched them closely. Alice seemed to sense me and she grinned in my direction. I smiled back, surprising myself. She was so small, kind of how I'd imagine an elf or a fairy would look like. My eyes wandered over to the big guy—Emmett. He didn't look like a fairy. I still felt that of all the possible beings the Cullens could be, angels was probably it.

They all slid into Edward's car and closed the doors, then he pulled out of his spot and I watched his eyes in his rearview mirror as he drove off, his gaze piercing deep inside me.

Regardless of the reason, I was glad Edward hadn't been in class. If he had, I would have felt embarrassed about having to get Banner to draw my blood. Edward would have been right there, watching everything, seeing me battle to overcome my weakness. The added nerves of being watched would probably have had me looking worse than Lee.

As Edward's car disappeared from sight, I had another stray thought. Maybe I wasn't the reason Edward skipped class. Maybe he was like me and Lee and he couldn't cope with blood either. Maybe he knew they were blood typing and that's why he didn't show.

But . . . could angels have a problem with blood? Could any supernatural being? I thought back to my list and tried to remember what was on it. _Demon . . . Angel . . ._

Suddenly _vampire_ didn't seem so unlikely.

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**A/N: Voting is open in the Roseward contest. Check out the entries and vote here: ************http:/www[DOT]fanfiction[DOT]net/u/2529769/ **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you again for all the feedback and support for this story. You guys are amazing. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world.**

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**Scary Stories**

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I was supposed to be watching Macbeth for English, but instead I was back in front of the old computer, wading through sites about vampires and other mythological beings. At first I almost turned the computer off, because Edward was nothing like the descriptions they had. He was pale, not ruddy, and he sure as hell didn't seem to sleep in a coffin during the day. But after a while, I came across another website—Vampires A-Z—and figured I'd give it a go before calling it quits. There were two quotes that came up immediately and the second one made me want to take my search more seriously.

_If there is in this world a well-attested account, it is that of the vampires. Nothing is lacking: official reports, affidavits of well-known people, of surgeons, of priests, of magistrates; the judicial proof is almost complete. And with that, who is there who believes in vampires? –Rousseau _

I'd told myself right at the beginning I had to keep an open mind. So there weren't any descriptions that exactly matched Edward; that's what I'd expected. It would be weirder if I found one that did. But that quote . . . made me feel like I wasn't crazy—like it really was possible I was on the right track.

Taking my time, I carefully read through the descriptions of the different vampire myths, looking for anything familiar. It seemed like almost every one of Edward's traits could be found somewhere. The _Upier_ was a vampire who could be awake during the day, the Romanian _Varacolaci_ could appear as a beautiful pale-skinned human, and the Slovak _Nelapsi_ was apparently so strong and fast, it could massacre an entire village in a single hour. There was even a vampire who was described as being on the side of goodness—the _Stregoni benefici_.

If all of those characteristics had been present in one type of vampire, I would have been absolutely convinced. But they weren't, and there was no way I could conclusively say he was one of them based on a few similarities. There had to be something else I could do, some way I could just verify if he was one or not.

I made a note of the few relevant types of vampires in case I wanted to look into them later and then powered down the PC. Charlie would be home soon and I didn't want him to see the kinds of things I'd been looking up. _Macbeth _stared at me, and I promised myself I'd watch later, before bed, then I headed downstairs to start microwaving a family-sized lasagna.

I slept badly that night. Whether it was _Macbeth _or just the vampire stuff, my dreams were disjointed, waking me up and leaving me confused. At some point in the early hours of the morning, I thought of just asking Edward outright. And in my sleep-deprived brain, that sounded like a great idea. As I drowsily made plans to talk to him in the parking lot the next morning, I drifted off to a much sounder sleep.

On Friday morning, I was nervous. I was about to make a fool of myself. There was no way he would admit to being a vampire, but on some level I still wanted to see if he would. The whole drive to school I swayed back on forth on whether I should just ask him or chicken out. By the time I arrived, I still hadn't decided. I parked my truck then slowly looked to where Edward would be.

The Volvo wasn't there.

I quickly scanned the lot in case he parked somewhere else but I couldn't see it anywhere.

"Dammit," I muttered to myself, not very convincingly. What I really thought was "Phew." I still wanted answers, but now I'd have to wait until Monday. That gave me the whole weekend to work up to it.

After the relief registered, I realized I wouldn't get to see him at all today. No side glances at his hunched, solemn figure, and definitely no chance of talking to him. I pushed those thoughts aside and climbed out of my truck, then after putting on my jacket and grabbing my bag, I began walking across the gravel.

In trig, Jessica brought up what happened at lunch the day before. "So what did Edward Cullen want yesterday?"

There was an empty feeling right down in my gut when she said his name. "I don't know," I answered after swallowing. "He never showed in Bio."

"Huh." There was a bitter edge to her voice. "They're the only kids in school who can get away with skipping class. So unfair."

Edward seemed to get away with everything, so I wasn't surprised. It could never annoy me the way it seemed to annoy Jessica. To me it seemed ridiculous that a . . . _guy_ like him even had to attend school.

"It's like today," she continued, "none of them are here. The Doctor takes them out whenever he feels like it. They probably don't even have to bring a permission note."

"They do this a lot?" I asked, curious to learn more about Edward's life.

"Well, whenever the weather's nice." Jess looked back down at her page, probably realizing how silly that sounded. It was pretty rare the weather was nice here. "They go camping or something. Dr. Cullen is really outdoorsy and they're always at Mike's Dad's store buying gear."

I never would have pictured Edward as someone who enjoyed camping, or any of the other Cullens for that matter. They looked too well kept – like they couldn't go without a shower and clean clothes ever. And camping was so . . . wholesome. In the back of my mind, my vampire theory lost some ground.

"You still coming tomorrow?" Jess asked, changing the topic. She looked worried and I realized I must have had a pretty serious expression on my face.

Smiling, I answered, "Yeah. Wouldn't miss it."

She brightened. "Cool. It's gonna be great. _We'll_ get to enjoy the weather for a change."

Just like everyone said, on Saturday morning a good part of the sky was clear and the sun was actually visible. I ate my breakfast and watched some TV and even did some laundry before it was time to leave for Newton's Outfitters. On the drive there, I wound my window down a bit and let some of the fresh Forks air in. When it wasn't thick with moisture it was nice.

Once I reached the store, I pulled into the parking lot next to Mike's Suburban. He was standing beside it, along with Eric, Conner and Ben. The girls were all huddled together: Jess, Angela, and Lauren, plus a few others whose names I couldn't remember. I climbed out and was greeted enthusiastically by Mike.

"Hey! Said it would be sunny today, didn't I?" He slapped me on the back for emphasis.

"You sure did," I answered, following him back to where the girls were standing. Jess gave me a huge smile as I said "Hi" to them.

"We're just waiting on Lee and Samantha and then we'll head off," Mike added before walking back to his SUV and checking on something. I stood next to one of the girls and pretended to listen to their conversation

Lee arrived a few minutes later with two more people than Mike was planning for so every seat in his Suburban had to be used. I considered just driving my truck but I wasn't sure who I would have ended up with for a passenger, so I squeezed in next to Jess in the front seat.

It was only fifteen miles to La Push and the drive was all right. We had the windows down and I talked with Jess and Mike, and we were there in no time. First Beach isn't like those beaches you see in travel agent windows. The water is dark, not light blue, and the sand gives way to stones and driftwood. Still, it was picturesque in its own way, and it had the pull of childhood familiarity.

Mike led us down to a clearing where some larger logs had been set up around a pile of ashes—no doubt left over from similar sorts of gatherings. A couple of the guys began collecting some dry driftwood branches so I followed to try and help. Pretty soon we'd gathered enough for a fire and Connor stacked them up like a teepee.

Mike pulled out a cigarette lighter and lit one of the smaller sticks and placed it carefully against the others. He continued the process until the fire was burning all around and the pile was blazing. I stared at the flames, watching them lick up the sides of the branches.

"It's . . . blue?"

"The salt does it," Mike responded, pleased that I was impressed. He took a seat on one of the logs and kept an eye on the fire. Jess followed and cuddled up beside him.

I stood to the side, hands in pockets, and wondered if I should have just stayed at home. It was nice seeing everyone outside of school, but it wasn't exactly fun. This morning I'd thought the trip would be a good distraction, something to keep me from obsessing about Edward, but we weren't exactly busy, so there was still plenty of time to think.

The last thing I wanted was to act like an outsider though, so I sat down on Mike's side of the log and we all talked for a bit. Thankfully, after about half an hour, a few of the guys decided to hike up and see the tidal pools.

After leaving a few of the others behind, we headed into the woods. The short hike was great—I had to concentrate on stepping over roots and branches, while keeping up a conversation with Ben. We came out onto the rocks and walked from pool to pool, checking out what was inside. I could have stayed there for the rest of the day but after about half an hour, it was time to head back for food.

We returned to find more people on the beach than when we'd left, and as we got closer I realized they were local kids from the reservation. Eric introduced us all when we were close enough and the oldest looking newcomer did the same with his friends, but I didn't really catch any of the names. One of the smaller kids was watching me expectantly, half a grin on his face. There was something vaguely familiar about him and I wondered if maybe I should know who he was, but then he looked away and was busy chatting to his friends again.

Sandwiches and sodas were passed around, and we ate while others talked. The sun disappeared behind some clouds and I speculated how much longer we'd be able to sit around like this.

"You're Will Swan, right?"

I looked up to see the younger looking kid walking toward me. He'd called me Will, which could only mean he knew of me through Charlie.

"I go by Liam," I said, grimacing slightly. "Liam Swan."

"Ah, sorry. Didn't realize it had changed." He smirked, like he thought it was funny, then he reached out his hand to shake mine. "It's me – Jacob Black."

It took me a moment to make the connection. "Jake?"

He grinned again and now I understood why he looked like he had some secret joke. We'd hung out all the time when we were kids and our dads went fishing. He recognized me while I didn't have a clue who he was.

"We used to hang out," he said, prompting me. "Back when you used to spend summer up here."

"Yeah, I remember." Jacob was a couple of years younger than me, but age didn't matter as much back then. Plus, my only other choices for friends were his older sisters, and I had absolutely no interest in them.

"How are you?" I asked, feeling awkward. The Jacob I remembered was small, daring, and only eight years old. This guy in front of me was . . . older. He wasn't the same Jacob I'd known so it was like meeting someone new.

"Good. You?"

I laughed, because lately, I hadn't been so great. "Yeah, okay I guess. New school is different, but everyone's nice enough." I gestured to the group and Jacob nodded his agreement. There was a pause and I didn't know what to do with it, so I dragged my foot across the stones and searched for something else to talk about. "So . . . do you . . . go fishing?"

"Shit no," he said, laughing and causing me to do the same. "I prefer working on cars."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise because he wasn't even old enough to drive.

He noticed my skeptism. "How do you like the truck?"

"You worked on that?" He nodded, more than a little self-satisfied. He sure was cocky for a kid. "The truck's great. Runs really well."

"Yeah, but it's slow." He laughed. "I was so relieved when Charlie bought it. My dad wouldn't let me work on building another car when we had a perfectly good vehicle right there."

He didn't mean it to be insulting, so I didn't take it that way. "What are you working on now?" I asked.

"1986 Volkswagen Rabbit," he answered, waiting for my reaction.

I nodded like I knew what that was. "Sounds great."

He shuffled and I finished my soda while I tried to think of something else to talk about. Then I saw Lauren sidling up to us.

"You know Liam, Jacob?" She was smiling sweetly at him, but I could still sense the underlying menace.

"We've sort of known each other since I was born," he answered, laughing nervously. I knew that laugh. Jacob was nervous around Lauren, probably because she was a pretty older girl. I'd been trying to copy that laugh for years.

"Aww, cute," she said in a condescendingly flirty voice. Jacob looked like he wasn't sure whether to smile or be embarrassed.

"Liam," Lauren said as she looked directly at me. "I was just saying to Tyler that it was too bad none of the Cullens could come out today. Didn't anyone think to invite them?" I stared at her, wondering where the hell that had come from. Her expression was smug, like she knew exactly what talking about Edward would do to my head. But how could she?

"You mean Dr. Cullen's family?" one of the taller guys asked in a deep voice.

"Yes, do you know them?" she asked, a definite sneer in her voice.

"The Cullens don't come here," he said, not answering her question at all. He didn't even make eye contact, just stared out in front of him. The way he said it was weird, too. He wasn't saying they didn't like coming out; it was more like . . . they couldn't.

Lauren bristled, but then Tyler yelled out, asking her about a CD, and she turned her attention back to him. I breathed easier, because she didn't know anything. If she did, she wouldn't have been distracted so easily. My guess was she'd seen a bit of what went on at lunch the other day and was probably just trying to piss me off. I wouldn't let her get to me.

Instead, I turned back to Jacob and quietly asked him, "What did he mean the Cullens don't come here?"

Jacob's eyes darted to the older guy's as though he was checking he couldn't hear. "It's nothing. They just . . . don't come out here."

I glanced over and saw the older guy was watching us closely. I didn't know if Jacob was telling the truth or if he was intimidated by that guy, so changed the subject and hoped he understood I'd pick it up again later.

We spent a few minutes laughing about Lauren's bitchiness, and then I asked Jacob a bit more about his life. He wanted to know how I was handling Forks and it was nice to be able to truthfully tell him I didn't mind it there at all.

The whole time I kept checking on the older guy, and when he looked like he was deep in conversation with someone, I took the opportunity. "Wanna go for a walk?"

Jacob glanced around, checking it was clear before nodding. We stood up and headed towards the water, Jacob grabbing a long branch on the way and dragging it through the sand beside him.

"That was weird," I said, trying to open things up.

He laughed. It seemed to be a habit for him. "That's just Sam. He's pretty serious."

"So what did he mean?" I asked again.

"About the Cullens? They're not supposed to come out onto the reservation."

"Why?"

He grimaced and smiled at the same time. "I'm not supposed to tell outsiders." He shrugged apologetically.

I stared at Jacob and tried to figure out if he somehow knew what I knew—that the Cullens weren't like us.

"They're . . . a bit different, aren't they?" I said, hoping I was vague enough that I didn't sound like an idiot if Jacob knew nothing.

He sat down on a large driftwood tree root and began digging in the sand with his branch. "I don't know . . . ," he started, the stopped and looked up at me, clearly torn between telling me whatever he knew and keeping his mouth shut.

"I won't say anything."

He stared out across the water. "It's just stupid legends . . ." he said, his voice bitter. "They say that the Quileute tribe are descended from wolves, and that some of our ancestors were—" he glanced nervously at me— "men who turned into wolves. Werewolves." He smiled but looked embarrassed.

I nodded, not showing a hint of disbelief, and he continued.

"The enemies of my ancestors are the Cold Ones."

A tingle went through my hand, a phantom memory of Edward's touch. "Cold Ones?"

"Blood drinkers," he answered, smiling derisively. "Your people call them vampires."

Everything froze. It was too much of a coincidence. He'd said the exact word, the same thing I'd been driving myself crazy thinking about over the last couple of days.

Jacob kept talking but his voice had faded into the background, my own thoughts pushing it out. Part of me argued that Edward couldn't be a vampire—a _blood_ drinker—not when he'd saved my life. The other part of me added Jacob's words to everything else I'd learned so far and decided that was pretty damn conclusive.

"—they weren't supposed to be dangerous to the tribe. So my great-grandfather made a truce with them. If they promised to stay off our lands, we wouldn't expose them to the pale-faces. That's you guys," he added, his grin replacing the seriousness he'd worn a moment ago.

I nodded, but there was no hiding how stunned I felt. Then I heard what he said. "Not dangerous?"

He winced a little before cranking up the humor and telling me his punch line. "Apparently they didn't hunt humans."

"Right." I probably should have laughed like he was expecting but what he said stripped away my last argument. If Edward was a vampire but wasn't dangerous, then he'd do something like save my life. Maybe he was like the stregoni one I'd read about.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked suddenly, his face concerned. "I told you it's just legends. Some of the tribe take it too seriously." He paused for a moment, waiting for my response.

"I'm fine, it's just . . ." I looked at his worried face and took a leaf out of his book, using humor to dispel the tension. "They're so pale, I can understand people thinking that."

I grinned and Jacob laughed, adding his own "Right?"

Jacob continued to dig in the sand, while I stared out at the water, calm despite what I'd just heard. Then the digging stopped.

"Promise you won't tell anyone what I said?" Jacob asked suddenly.

"I swear it." He relaxed visibly and I wondered what could have had him so worried. It must be the older guy.

"Good." He laughed, his apprehension nowhere to be seen. "People would think I was crazy."

We both started when we heard the sound of stones clattering and I waited for the older guy—Sam—to appear. Instead it was Mike and Jessica, and I'd never been more relieved to see them.

"Hey, Liam!" Mike called out. "We're packing up—looks like it's going to rain soon."

I hadn't noticed the clouds had crept over, completely blocking what little clear sky there had been. Instead of being annoying, I felt like the clouds were appropriate, just what my mind needed right now.

Slowly, I stood up and brushed off my pants. Jacob stayed where he was.

"It was good seeing you again," I said. I searched for words I could say in front of the others and failed. "And . . . thanks," I added lamely.

He grinned as he tapped his branch on the ground. "I'll see you around."

"Yeah, okay." I turned away and pulled my hood up, then followed Mike and Jess back to where the cars were parked. Everything was loaded up by the time we reached them, so I just crawled into the seat next to Jess and told her I was tired.

As I lay my head back on the seat and closed my eyes, I went back through everything I'd learned and committed it to memory. There was still some thinking to do. And on Monday, there would be some talking.

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**A/N: It was a necessary chapter. I don't like it when E isn't around either. **

**I'm having a little trouble deciding on how the next chapter unfolds. Often I write a scene only to change my mind completely and have to rewrite it. I guess this is just to let you know that if I don't update soon, it doesn't mean I'm not writing it. I am. Probably for the third time. **

**Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed and voted for the Roseward contest. Winners are announced on the 25th!**

**********xxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks again for all the awesome reviews and Liam love (sorry I fail so hard at replying), and thanks to all the people who have rec'd Nightfall. This is probably the last update this year. I'm busy, busy, busy and I signed up to write something for Make the Yuletwi'd Gay which I still need to start . . . **

**Happy holidays and thanks to everyone for another wonderfully entertaining year in the fandom :) **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world. **

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**Nightmare**

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I didn't even notice when we arrived back at Newton's dad's store. We all filed out of his van and said our goodbyes then I climbed into my truck, revved the loud engine, and slowly started making my way home.

Charlie was watching basketball so I went up to my room and flopped down on my bed. Despite all the circumstantial evidence I had about Edward, the now familiar disbelief stilled crept into my mind. It made me want to doubt myself, made me think I was an idiot. This time, I was able to shut it out. Jacob's words couldn't be ignored. Everything fit.

Edward had to be a vampire.

I forced myself to think of it as a fact, then tried to consider what that meant. There were so many myths about vampires and Edward already didn't fit a couple of them: he was able to be awake during the day and didn't have fangs. But he was pale, strong and fast, so I knew he had at least some of the characteristics. What about shapeshifting? That would be cool. Immortality? Ditto.

Blood-drinking . . . ?

I imagined Edward biting down on the neck of some faceless human and drinking. I thought about him enjoying it, his eyes rolling back in pleasure and the sounds he would make. I wanted to see it in real life—what he looked like and how he did it.

I wondered what it would feel like.

Then I remembered Jacob had said the Cullens didn't hunt humans—that they weren't dangerous. Did that mean he didn't drink from humans, or did he only take from people who were willing? If he didn't drink from humans, what else was there?

I had a vague memory of some vampire drinking from rats and my face screwed up in disgust at the thought. That was immediately followed by a snort as I realized I'd pretty much just approved of Edward drinking from humans. As long as it wasn't rodents, apparently I didn't have a problem with him being a blood-sucker. It was a sarcastic thought, but the more I contemplated it, the more I understood it was true.

I didn't care if he drank human blood.

Jacob said they weren't dangerous; Edward had already saved my life and he'd never tried to harm me, so I believed that. For a while I'd thought he was an angel—a memory that brought me no small amount of embarrassment—and I'd even admired the idea. How different was that to a vampire who was good?

As I stared up at my ceiling, a smile spread out across my face, one of relief and satisfaction. I'd figured it out, and by my reasoning, there was no need for me to fear Edward anymore.

The rest of the night passed normally. Charlie and I had grilled cheese and we watched some television together. Then I went upstairs and stripped down for bed. I was asleep in within minutes.

My dream was weird. Jacob was in it and we were in the forest. He was warning me about something, telling me I had to leave. Then he morphed into a huge wolf and growled at a space in the trees. Mike was there, too, also telling me to run, but I was confused. What was I supposed to be running from? Edward stepped through the trees and into the stream of light, pale and striking against the dense greenery. He smiled and I knew it wasn't the normal Edward. This one had fangs like the vampires I'd been reading about. That was why the others were telling me to run from him. Jacob, I mean the wolf, growled from beside me, and I needed to warm Edward, to let him know that they knew what he was. But just as I was about to open my mouth, the wolf launched itself at him.

"No!" I yelled, sitting bolt upright in bed and waking myself up.

Groggily, I rubbed my hands over my face and waited for my heart to stop racing. I hated waking up from unfinished dreams. Days when that happened always felt slightly off-kilter for me. I took in a deep breath and looked at the time. It was five-thirty in the morning. Ugh.

I got out of bed and went to pee, then crawled back under the covers when I returned. It was too early to get up but I was too awake to fall back to sleep. There was really only one thing left to do.

I pulled my boxers down enough to be able to pull my dick out and I began stroking while I let my thoughts stray. I'd given up on not thinking about Edward a while ago but I still wasn't careless about it. I only ever let myself think about him this way when I was by myself. Never at school.

I went back to my favorite image, the one where he has me against the wall. I was trapped, held in place by his firm body as he kissed me like a starved man. Then his face dipped to my neck and he licked along the skin. I waited for the kisses but instead of feeling his lips and his tongue, it was his teeth and the sensation of him drawing on my blood. He groaned in ecstasy as he swallowed, and I gripped his naked ass and pulled him in against me.

I stroked harder, thinking about how Edward's dick would feel against mine. In my thoughts, I made him stop drinking before he was finished and put his hand on me, getting him to rub up and down. He continued to attack my skin, biting wherever he could while the rubbing turned to a proper hand job. He figured out that exciting me got my blood pumping faster, so he focused on my dick while I stared at his mouth and the red tinge left on his teeth. When his eyes looked back, they were fixated on the other side of my neck where my pulse thrummed. With hunger in his eyes, he kissed me until I came, then he latched onto my neck again, his teeth adding pain to my euphoria.

I lay panting in bed, surprised by how intensely I'd come. That was pretty kinky. And way more graphic than what I normally pictured. Guiltily, I added those thoughts to the spank bank before locking it up tight. No one could ever know.

Sunday was spent trying to do homework. Even though I sat with my books open for hours, I hardly made any progress. I kept thinking about the next day at school and what I'd say to Edward. It was worse now that I knew what he was. Instead of just asking him, I was going to try and tell him that I knew—that I'd figured out he was a . . . a vampire. No matter how many ways I dreamed of saying it, I could always see myself looking like an idiot.

By evening, even Charlie could tell I was distracted.

"Everything okay?" he asked me during the commercials.

We'd been watching _Everybody Loves Raymond_. Well, Charlie had. I'd been staring at the screen, my thoughts somewhere else entirely.

"Yeah, I'm just . . . distracted."

Charlie stared at me for a moment before looking back to the TV. He didn't ever try to interrogate me—not like Renee used to. She would never have let something like this go until I'd told her what was going on. Charlie had a deep breath, the only sign he hadn't dropped the conversation completely.

"I want you to let me know if anything, or anyone's, bothering you, all right?"

Nodding, I answered. "Sure."

He checked on me one more once the show started, so I tried harder to pay attention and keep up with the canned laughter. After it finished, I escaped upstairs, telling him it was the paper that was worrying me so I should probably go work on it. It wasn't all a lie. The paper was due on Wednesday and my attempts to finish it had been pretty hopeless. Once I put Edward out of my brain, I actually managed a bit of progress before I gave in to sleep.

On Monday morning, I swallowed my nerves and left the house. There was no plan; I was just going to let him know somehow. Trying to plan the how was what was making me so nervous, so I'd given up on it. The only thing I was doing differently was leaving earlier, just in case that gave me a chance to talk to him before class.

I drove to school with my expectations gurgling in my guts and pulled in to my spot, ready to wait. The sun was out today, glaring in the sky. Somehow, I'd grown used to its absence. I think I even preferred the Forks' usual gray cover now. Not the rain though. That was a pain in the ass.

Students began arriving and the parking lot started to fill up. There was only about ten minutes left until class, and the Cullens would usually have appeared by now. Maybe it was like Friday and they weren't coming at all. My stomach sank and the buzz of excitement I'd been carrying around for the last couple of days fizzled out.

Although I just wanted to sit in my truck, it would be weird to do that now that everyone else was there, so I got out and headed toward Mike. Before I'd gotten very far, I noticed how Mike had his arm round Jess and slowed my steps. They were smiling at each other and having some sort of moment, and I didn't want to interrupt that. I needed to find some other people to hang around so I wasn't their third wheel. My mood wasn't really suited to being friendly with Eric or Ben, so I walked off by myself, pretending I was headed to class.

Ever since I'd moved to Forks, things had been okay. But now . . . it was like I was finally feeling like I didn't fit in. Inwardly, I scoffed. Just last week I was thinking the exact opposite, that I really liked it in Forks. Then the proverbial light-bulb went off in my head. Last week, Edward had been at school. This was the fourth day in a row I wouldn't see him. That was probably the reason behind my sudden glumness.

I stopped outside my building and leant against it, then stared out across the school and at the forest beyond. If I behaved like this every time Edward wasn't around, sooner or later someone would notice. So I took a deep breath and shook off the emo just as the bell rang for class.

At lunch, the girls were loud and . . . girlish.

"I can drive," Jessica practically shouted.

Mike looked up questioningly. "What to?"

Jess smiled. "We're going dress shopping in Port Angeles. For the dance."

"Oh." He seemed to have some sort of internal battle, then spoke up. "Can you do it tomorrow night?"

Jess pouted. "Why not tonight?" Her eyes widened when she caught on that maybe Mike had other plans. "Is tomorrow night okay with you guys?"

Angela nodded. "Sure."

"I might not be able to make it," Lauren said showing not a hint of excitement for her friend.

To Jess' credit, she didn't budge. "We'll figure something out." She gave Mike a huge grin and he looked relieved.

After school, I gave into my shitty mood. I sat on the front porch at home, breaking up small twigs that had fallen from the nearby pines and flicking the pieces over the railing. I'd forgotten how Jessica had said the Cullens went camping when the weather was nice, and the local report said we were in for a sunny Tuesday. That would make it five days.

I pushed my hair away from my face, leant my head back and closed my eyes. Whenever I was miserable at home, Renée would make me a big hot chocolate with choc chips and marshmallows. It was kind of repulsive, but I missed it now.

I settled for a soda from the fridge then went upstairs. My Macbeth report was still on my desk but I really wasn't in the mood for that today. Instead I turned on the computer and started playing a CD Phil had given me. The music was heavy enough so I left it on while I sat down to write to my mom.

On Tuesday I woke up feeling the same way. Sure enough, the sun was still out, so I slumped back in bed. There was no point in being early unless I wanted to hang off Jess and Mike. I briefly considered ditching but then realized how pointless that would be. I'd end up spending the whole day thinking like this and have nothing to distract me. Better to go to school.

I got out of bed and headed downstairs where I made myself a bowl of cereal. As I chewed my breakfast, I lost some of my bad mood. I couldn't hold it against Doctor Cullen for wanting to go camping when the weather was nice. I mean, if I was a vampire, I didn't think I'd even bother going to school, let alone a job.

Especially not a doctor.

It hadn't even occurred to me before to wonder how Doctor Cullen could work at a hospital. There was a lot of blood there . . . how could he be around it?

Then I remembered "they weren't suppose to be dangerous." They didn't hunt humans; they saved them. Maybe the Cullens really were stregoni type of vampire.

But they were still blood-drinkers . . . Maybe Doctor Cullen was using donor blood to feed? Maybe that's how they survived without hunting humans?

My cereal was going pretty soggy, so I ate it quickly and dumped my bowl. Pondering the Cullens had given my mood a boost, and I left the house more curious than miserable.

Classes came and went. In Biology, we were learning more about the body and how it repairs itself. I stared at my fingertip, unable to see any mark of where Mr. Banner had stuck me with the lancet, and had one of those moments where I was struck by how amazing the body is. Then I remembered the droplet of blood that had sat on my fingertip, and how it made me feel. Could I ever survive on that alone?

I dropped my finger and glanced around as though someone might have caught me. That thought felt wrong. It was an automatic reaction, as though even just thinking about it was beyond forgiveness. No one was looking at me, thankfully. My interest was piqued, though, so I filed it away as something to think about later when I was by myself, and turned my attention back to Banner.

At home that afternoon, I was freed from having to get dinner ready thanks to pizza night. So I sat on the porch in the fading daylight and convinced myself that the question was purely hypothetical. Given the choice, would I want to become a vampire?

I didn't like blood. That was a con.

I would be fast and strong and have super hearing and not be a danger to humans. All pros.

What else was there? It was hard to honestly answer the question when I wasn't aware of all the facts. Would I be able to shapeshift? Would I be immortal?

Would becoming a vampire make me hot like Edward?

I laughed at myself, the noise echoing slightly off the overhanging roof. I'd just described Edward, a _vampire,_ as hot.

Fuck it. He was hot. And if becoming a vampire somehow brought me closer to him, that was another thing to add to the pros.

So far blood was the only con. I examined my finger again before bringing it to my mouth and sucking on the tip, imagining the taste and the texture, trying to picture myself enjoying the act. My insides squelched and I dropped my hand, a little disappointed. I consoled myself with the thought that everything would probably be different if I was a vampire. Blood would taste like a good steak or something.

I scoffed when I thought of being the equivalent of a juicy T-bone to Edward. Then I stopped abruptly, because I had an idea. I wanted Edward to know that I knew, but I didn't want to have to say the words.

What if I could get him to show me?

My thoughts were clear as I considered how that could work. Maybe it would only take one tiny prick, a single drop of blood. He hadn't come to Biology that day, so he had to reasonably sensitive to small amounts. I could have a pin with me all day and when the opportunity came about, I could pierce my skin and see his reaction. Worst case scenario, he didn't react at all. Or maybe the worst case scenario would be if he sucked me dry?

If I did it before Biology started, there would be no one else around. It would be easier for him to reveal himself. And if he turned out to be not such a nice vampire, or even if the asshole came back because I'd uncovered his secret, the rest of the class wouldn't be far away.

I didn't think of everything that could go wrong because I knew I'd just end up talking myself out of it. Instead, I reminded myself I didn't have to fear Edward anymore.

Night was falling so I stood up to head inside. There was an noise in the distance that sounded like a cell phone. Sometimes it was a little eerie living in such a quiet neighborhood. I just wasn't used to it.

My bad mood had vanished, completely eradicated by my plan. The clouds were forecast to come back the next day so hopefully Doctor Cullen had read the weather report and was packing up to go home.

Edward might be back at school in the morning.

I let the smallest smile out as I closed the door behind me and headed for the stairs. I still had that Macbeth report to finish before the morning.

I'd only made it halfway up when there was a knock at the door.

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**A/N: Yep, it's about bloody time! I don't know what SMeyer was thinking when she made it sunny for so long. Probably one of those silly tension things . . . **

**Okay, other stuff . . . **

**Edward is venomous, so a lot of what Liam imagines will never come to pass. Liam doesn't know that yet. Just thought I'd throw that out there in case any of you were wondering.**

**A lot of people asked/commented on Jake in the last chapter . . . He's not gay in the books, so he isn't in this either. I can't seriously discuss BD so let's just say I'm working on the assumption that Jake was only ever attracted to the Nessie part of B, and Liam doesn't have a Nessie part. Make sense? Of course not.**

**Once again, happy holidays. I hope you have a wonderful few weeks and I'll see you back here in the new year! xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**A****/N: It's amazing what you can do when you have a couple of days off work . . .**

**In the book, chapters 8 and 9 cover Bella's trip to Port Angeles and the dinner with Edward. Liam's evening isn't quite that eventful, so I'm skipping chapter 8, "Port Angeles" and going straight to chapter 9, "Theory." The story is still following the Twilight timeline.**

**Thank you again for all the support, reviews, alerts. And a special thanks to Lou-La for the Twislash Unveiled rec. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world. **

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**Theory**

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I'd lived with Charlie for about a month and a half and this was the first time anyone had knocked on the door when he wasn't home. Tentatively, I retraced my steps down the stairs, made my way across the living room and opened the door.

Edward Cullen was standing on my front porch. For the first time in five days, I was looking straight at him.

After a split second I remembered to talk. "Hi," I said, more than a little surprised.

"Hello," he answered. His hands were shoved deep in his pockets and his shoulders were hunched. He didn't look like he wanted to be there.

"What's up?" I asked, trying to sound unfazed by his sudden appearance.

He seemed to glare at me just a little before answering, "Can we talk?"

"Um . . . sure." I paused, wary of what he wanted to talk about. In the fast fading day, he looked more dangerous. "Do you want to come inside?" I asked before mentally kicking myself. That was a really stupid thing to say to a vampire.

"If you don't mind, I'd rather speak out here." He turned his head slightly and seemed to draw a deep silent breath in through his nose. The act didn't relax him at all. If anything he seemed even more tense.

I stepped out onto the porch, pulling the door closed behind me but leaving it unlocked. Edward backed away as soon as I was outside, keeping the distance between us. This definitely wasn't a friendly visit.

"What did you want to talk about?" My words came out along with a small cloud of condensation from my mouth. I shoved my own hands into my pockets. The temperature had dropped.

He looked at me, his face deadly serious. "I came here to ask you to stop trying to figure out what I am."

I shifted uncomfortably as my mind raced, looking for the right answer. This was my chance to just tell him, but saying the actual word out loud and to his face was hard.

"What if I've already figured it out?" I asked, carefully watching for his reaction.

His eyes narrowed. "I don't think that's the case."

His words made me doubt myself again. I broke away from his eyes and stared at my feet, confused. I'd been so certain before and yet one word from him and now I wasn't. I thought through each of the reasons why I'd believed it before. _Strength, speed, pale, blood, Jacob_ . . .

I looked up again into his strange colored eyes and noticed that his breath didn't disturb the air. There were no wisps of mist every time he exhaled.

_Cold one_ . . .

"It is," I corrected him.

At first, he appeared sceptical, but then he scoffed. It sounded fake. "If you knew, you wouldn't be standing here with me now." He stared at me and I felt my resolve weakening.

"That's not true," I said slowly, shaking my head and breaking eye contact. I did know what he was, and I was still standing with him. He glanced off into the distance, his brow furrowed and a slight smirk on his face, like he was humoring me.

"You could be bad, but you're not," I explained and then swallowed deeply. I needed to say the actual word to wipe that smug look off his face and get him to take me seriously. "Not all . . . _vampires_ are bad."

He looked back and his eyes flashed with fury. I felt genuine fear seep through me, like tiny icicles pricking down my spine.

"I have been," he said through his clenched teeth.

It wasn't what I'd expected him to say but I had no doubt it was true. Right then, he was pure malice.

"And you're right—I could be," he added.

Timidly, I spoke, trying to sound firm. "You wouldn't have saved my life . . ." I didn't finish the thought. It was more to calm myself then convince him anyway.

He went from furious to pained, more vulnerable and less terrifying. "I put my family at risk that day. Having you know there is something . . . ." He scowled. "I didn't have a choice."

I let his words sink in and still didn't understand. He chose to save me thereby putting his family at risk? Wasn't that his choice?

"You did. You chose to save me," I said, not feeling very confident.

He shook his head, not meeting my eyes. "No."

If he didn't save me by choice, then why would he do it? If he'd stood aside that day and just let Tyler's van crush me, no one would ever know about him or his family and they'd be safe. I'd be little more than a pile of broken bones and . . .

"The blood," I said, understanding seeping in. "If you hadn't stopped the accident, there would have been too much blood."

Edward's eyes dropped; it was the only confirmation I needed. He wasn't an angel or a stregoni whatever vampire. There was no desire in him to save _my _life specifically. He just didn't want everyone to see him react to five quarts of blood suddenly spilling out of my body.

It made me angry—hurt. I'd built him up in my mind as this . . . superhero-esque vampire. But he was just a selfish asshole—just like I'd originally thought. My blood was boiling from being mad and from feeling like an idiot, so I grabbed onto the door handle to let myself back in.

He spoke again, halting my retreat. His face was scrunched up. "I would have revealed everything if you'd been hurt that day. I had no choice but to save you."

"I get it," I snapped. He didn't need to keep rubbing it in.

"So you see," he continued calmly, "just because I saved your life doesn't mean I'm not dangerous. I am. Especially to you."

I took my hand off the door. He was explaining it to me, trying to let me see it from his perspective. He'd tried to tell me before and I hadn't listened. This time I did.

The way he was earlier, when he was angry, some part of me recognised the risk and I felt fear. He was dangerous. I just didn't understand that before.

"I get that now."

He relaxed at my words and stepped back, tilting his head to the darkening sky. His earlier tension has dissipated, replaced with sombreness.

"How did you find out?" he asked, stilled peering into the night.

I shuffled my feet, trying to think when I first stumbled on the idea. "I'd done some searches on the internet, and then when you didn't come to Biology the day we did blood typing, I figured it out." It was really Jacob's legends that had tipped me over to believing Edward was a vampire, but I'd promised Jacob I wouldn't say anything, so I didn't.

Edward's eyes narrowed, like he was re-examining me.

"Most people would find what I am distressing." It was a statement, but he was also asking me why I didn't.

The first response that popped into my head was that I wasn't like most people. I was infatuated with him, to the point that I'd built him up in my mind as some sort of seraphic vampire. My second thought was what Jacob had said—about how they didn't hunt humans. I couldn't mention either of those.

Shrugging, I responded, "You'd given me no reason to be scared of you."

He looked puzzled but not upset. Then he raised his head slightly. "Your father will be home soon."

I nodded then wondered how he knew. I was just about to ask when it dawned on me.

"Super hearing?" I asked.

His mouth quirked up a little. "In a sense."

Nothing about our conversation had gone the way I'd wanted it to. Instead of revealing what I knew and letting him know he had a confidant, I'd just made him mad and then confused. The mere sight of the almost-smile on his face flooded me with regret.

"I will never say anything," I added, wishing he would just believe me.

He breathed in again, holding his head to the side. "I know," he said, and this time, he really did smile. But it was the type you gave to people you felt pity for. For whatever reason, he felt sorry for me.

"It would help if you could avoid letting your blood as well," he added.

He turned and stepped down off the porch before I could respond. It took a moment for his words to sink in but when they did, I grasped that somehow he'd known I was planning to make myself bleed in front of him. After the conversation we'd just had, I felt truly stupid for having even considered doing that. No wonder he'd been so pissed off.

Edward stopped when he reached his car and looked back. He seemed to struggle with what he was about to say. I waited.

"Lauren . . . isn't the nicest person. You should stay away from her."

Lauren was the last thing I expected him to talk about, but then I remembered how his sister had been looking at her that day. He probably knew something and I didn't doubt his advice.

"Okay," I agreed.

He seemed satisfied with that and got in his car, then he was pulling out of the driveway and disappearing up the street in what had to be record time. I let myself inside the house, revelling in the warmth that greeted me. Despite the talk with Edward not going the way I'd wanted it to, I felt better now that it was out there. He knew that I knew, and hopefully that meant I'd be able to concentrate on other things again. Like my Macbeth report that I still needed to complete.

The sound of the cruiser reminded me homework could wait until after dinner. Instead of heading up the stairs, I grabbed a soda and a beer from the fridge and set them on the coffee table. Charlie walked through the door a moment later carrying a family-sized.

"Hi," I greeted him.

"Got dinner," he responded, lifting the box a little in case I had failed to see it.

I took it off him so he could get out of his jacket and holster and placed the large box on the coffee table. My stomach growled in hunger.

Unable to wait, I flipped open the lid and pulled out a slice." I was half-way through before Charlie sat down.

Taking a piece for himself, he started talking. "Anything you wanna watch tonight?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I've got homework."

He took a huge bite from his slice before opening his beer, then he switched on the TV, removing any further need for conversation.

After five slices, I headed up to my room and sat down at my small desk. My Macbeth report was still unchanged from Sunday night. It needed a fair bit of work so I got started straight away, wanting to get at least some sleep.

At a quarter past eleven, I had a quick shower and then crawled into bed, exhausted. The whole Edward visit felt a little too surreal, like it hadn't actually happened. Anticipation seeped through me as I realized he'd be at school the next day. He'd be in the parking lot and the cafeteria, and then right next to me in Biology.

And the best part . . . I didn't have to worry about telling him I knew anymore. It was all out there, not quite in the open but close enough. If he hadn't come over, I'd be panicking about having to make myself bleed in front of him—worrying whether I could do it.

He'd stopped all that from happening—maybe even saved my life again. He'd somehow known what I was planning to do, and he'd stopped me from doing it.

He'd known.

Instantly, I switched from relieved to _mortified._

I'd only ever _thought_ about pricking myself in order to get Edward to reveal himself. I'd never written it down, never said it out loud. There was only one way he could know what I was planning . . .

I thought back to that day in Biology when he'd seemed to know exactly what Mr. Banner was talking about. He hadn't reacted to my thoughts at all, but that could have all been an act. If he could . . . read my mind, then no wonder he didn't want anything more to do with me. No wonder he disappeared from school for days. He would know just how much of my day I spent thinking about him, every horrible thought . . .

Every fantasy.

"Shit." Hopelessly, I buried my head in my pillow and tried to drown out all the times I'd thought inappropriate things about Edward. My stomach churned with shame and I knew I definitely wouldn't be sleeping tonight.

A small part of my brain tried to be optimistic, telling me he hadn't looked disgusted when he'd visited earlier. And then . . . there were things he hadn't known, like how I found out he was a vampire. How could he know some things but not others? Did he have selective mind reading?

"Fuckkkk," I groaned and rolled over on to my stomach.

Why were always more questions when it came to Edward?

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**A/N: What does Liam look like? I picture a younger Patrick Fugit (Almost Famous) with a bit of Billy Burke thrown in. He's very cute, imo.**

**Happy holidays and see you next year!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Sorry about the wait - I've been away on vacation and had to catch up on some work before I could get to this. Thank you for all the reviews. It was wonderful to come home to them xxx**

**Sorry about the mistakes. I edited this in ffn's document manager. I know. Dumb.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world. **

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**Interrogations**

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I pulled into the school parking lot the next day and stared at the silver Volvo. He was definitely back.

Nervously, I looked at the trees surrounding the area and tried to distract myself. _Green_, I thought. _Tall, woody, cold, branches, green . . ._

There was no way I was going to be able to keep that up all day. At some point I would slip, and he'd hear me. Or maybe he wouldn't . . . I still had no fucking idea.

As if he already had, the driver's door of his car opened and he emerged slowly. He stared directly at me and held my gaze for a few seconds before turning and heading to class. The look wasn't friendly but it wasn't aggressive or anything else either. Was he acknowledging he could hear me? I grabbed my bag and jumped out of my truck, slamming the door behind me. Why did he have to be so damn confusing?

Mike pulled up on the other side of the lot and I headed over. Then I saw a pink jacketed figure appeared out of the passenger side. Jessica was huddled over to avoid the rain, but once she straightened up I could see her face. She waved as soon as she saw me and her friendly smile made me feel better.

"Hey," Mike said as he closed his door.

"Hey," I replied.

"You look tired," Jessica commented once she'd joined us. "Were you up late working on your report like some other people I know?" she asked as she nudged Mike playfully with her elbow.

"At least I remembered to do it," Mike said defensively and tickled her around the waist. I looked away.

After Jessica's giggles died down, she asked again. "Did you leave yours until the last minute as well, Liam?"

"Yeah, kind of," I said, shrugging. There was no need to admit it wasn't my _Macbeth_ report keeping me up last night.

"Well, hopefully you guys managed to pull something out of your asses and you don't fail."

She was grinning widely, showing all her teeth and her dimples, and Mike was the same. I hung back and walked behind them, wishing my life was that simple. They weren't worried about vampires or people knowing their thoughts or what those thoughts were or . . . anything. They were so normal. I was envious.

"You look down today," Jessica said, glancing back at me with a concerned expression. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah . . . I'm just tired."

She smiled and slowed her steps so we were all walking together. While I appreciated what she was trying to do, I felt more comfortable by myself. I still smiled gratefully at her though, not wanting to be rude.

Classes were a slow torture. I counted down the minutes until I'd have to be in the same room as him again by thinking of different topics I could use to distract me. Then I started remembering everything I'd agonized over the night before. Lunch was the first time I realized I was attracted to him, and that was also the first day he talked to me. Had he heard me? Was that why he'd suddenly started speaking?

Jess was by my side on the walk to lunch but she wasn't much of a distraction for my thoughts. She was quiet for a change, looking kind of contemplative. We lined up for food and Mike cut in next to us once he showed. Jessica seemed to brighten a bit then.

After we got our food we headed to our table and sat down. As usual, I glanced at the Cullens, only to see they weren't there yet. I found him in the queue, standing with Alice and the tall blond guy . . . Jasper. Alice grinned at me and again, I found myself smiling back. There was just something about her. She was completely non-threatening. Or maybe she just looked that way next to Jasper and Edward.

She looked up at Edward and he rolled his eyes at her. I wanted to laugh but I didn't.

The chair next to me pulled out and I looked up to see Lauren. She was trying to look innocent but there was a clear smirk on her face.

"Hi, Liam," she said as she sat down.

"Hey," I responded, making a mental note never to get to lunch early again.

"I see the Cullens are back," she said, glaring in their direction.

Jessica let out a sigh. "The teachers don't even ask them why they weren't at school. So unfair."

I stared at my meatloaf. There was no way I was getting involved in this conversation.

"Do you know where they went this time, Liam?" Lauren asked me.

I glanced up at her and regretted it. "Nope," I said quickly. She looked like she was trying to cause trouble. Edward's warning was still fresh in my mind, and I had no intention of getting drawn into whatever it was she was trying to do.

"Huh, I thought you would. I thought maybe you two were friends now or something?"

She was bating me, trying to get me to react. "No," I said, adding an offhanded shrug.

"Doctor Cullen came in for supplies last week, but he didn't mention where they were headed. Were you looking to stalk 'em, Lauren?" Mike was grinning, enjoying having a stab at her.

"Whatever," Lauren said.

From the corner of my eye, I gave Mike an appreciative nod.

I ate my lunch quickly, not wanting to hang around next to Lauren. She seemed to think something was going on between me and Edward, and she was just the sort of female-asshole who would take pleasure in drawing other people's attention to us. Hell, she was already starting to. Was that what Edward had been warning me about?

I wished I could just say "fuck it" and not care what Lauren or anyone else thought, but I knew what people like her did. She would make my life miserable. It was much easier to just pretend like there was nothing wrong with me, to fly under the radar and fit in until high school was over. It wasn't that far off.

When I was finished, I told everyone I was heading to class early then left, eager to escape. I swear I could feel l Lauren's eyes burning into my back.

The room was empty when I got to Biology, so I pulled out some books to look like I was doing something. My plan was to talk to Edward during this class and ask him how he knew what I was going to do. There was no Lauren in Biology either which made it safer.

A couple of other students began showing up and taking their seats, then Mike came in and sat on the table in front of me for a chat. Edward slid into his seat shortly after and only a moment later, Mr. Banner entered the room backwards, hauling a tall trolley which held an old TV and VCR. Mike did a quiet fistpump and hopped off the table to go to his own seat.

Mr. Banner plugged everything in to the wall, explaining that today we would be watching a movie—_Lorenzo's Oil_—to learn about genetic disorders. That explained Mike's reaction. A movie day was a relief for him, but for me . . . It was unlikely I'd be able to talk to Edward without some of the class hearing. But it would make it easier to pass notes.

I dug through my bag for a loose piece of paper, and once Mr. Banner had turned off the lights, I wrote out my question.

_Can you read my mind?_

Anxiously, I prepared myself for his answer, and then silently slipped the sheet across the table in Edward's direction, not taking my eyes off the TV in the process. A short while later, I felt it's return against my arm. I hadn't even noticed Edward move in my periphery.

I took a deep breath and then looked. There was only one word—_No. _

It was a relief to see it written down. He didn't know what I was thinking, or what I had thought. Hopefully my private thoughts were still mine alone.

I asked my next question.

_How did you know I was planning to bleed in front of you?_

I pushed it across discreetly, still pretending to watch the movie. His response was faster this time.

_That's not the sort of thing I can write on paper._

I didn't try to hide my disappointment. Was he avoiding answering me? I had to know. I couldn't handle not understanding anymore.

_Will you tell me later?_

This time as I slid the paper across, I watched him, half pleading, half demanding. He glanced at the sheet out of the corner of his eye, then at me. His jaw clenched slightly and then almost imperceptibly, he nodded.

He was going to tell me, finally. As my eyes returned to the TV, I felt myself relax like I hadn't in weeks. Soon he would let me know. I'd be able to get all the answers I'd been hoping for. Would it be straight after class? Maybe in the parking lot? I imagined us talking together, at school, like it was a normal thing, and him telling me everything I wanted to know. I felt excited.

And then . . . I started to feel other things. I_ liked _Edward. What if I did something or said something that tipped him off? And there would be other people around, too. What about Lauren?

I told myself that it was no big deal, there was nothing to get excited about, but it didn't seem to help and my curiousness promptly took a backseat to my nerves. My pulse picked up and my palms were suddenly clammy. The more I wished it would stop, the more nervous I got. And what made it worse is I _knew_ Edward could tell. My heart beat was loud enough for even non-vampires to hear.

I stared at the movie and dried my hands on my thighs, but nothing was working. He was watching me—I could feel it.

Then I felt the paper hit my forearm. I read it without looking at him, too ashamed that I couldn't control my reactions.

_Please calm down. _

I was mortified. My cheeks flamed as I thought of what the note left unsaid. _"Calm down" we're only going to talk . . . _

But then I looked at him. His face was drawn tight, his brow scrunched down and his eyelids squeezed shut. He looked like he was in pain again, almost pushing himself against the wall. Then his eyes opened, and they were black. He stared at me and it was the same look I'd seen on his face that first day at school when I thought he was being an asshole. He looked like he wanted to kill me, but he couldn't. My eyes dropped to his hands and I saw them gripping the desk, holding himself back.

He was trying not to hurt me.

I mouthed "sorry" at him and returned to staring at the movie, breathing steadily and forcing myself to think about other things. I went back to that first day and thought about what he'd been like. Knowing he hadn't acted that way on purpose seemed to make a huge difference for some reason. Up until now, I'd always assumed Edward was a bit of a prick. It hadn't really bothered me because . . . well, no one was perfect. But now . . . everything I'd thought about him had to be revaluated.

His eyes were black again. Somehow their color had to be linked to his behavior. When they were dark he was aggressive, lighter when he was in a better mood. Why had they gone black just now? What had I done to make him mad?

For the rest of the hour, I made sure to watch the movie. I was all too aware of Edward and where he was beside me, but I didn't let my mind go there.

When Banner switched the lights on at the end of class, the room seemed to explode into movement. Edward left before I had a chance to ask him anything else.

Frustrated, I gathered my things and left.

I fumed on the way to gym and took it my annoyance by pushing myself harder than I usually did. It was basketball, so I was able to run with the crowd even though I hardly touched the ball. By the time I'd gotten out of the change rooms, I felt mildly better.

In the parking lot, he was the first thing I saw. He was leaning against his car, talking to his sister, Alice. She looked amused but wasn't laughing or anything.

There weren't many other students around, so I headed toward him, figuring I'd give him the opportunity to let me know when "later" was. His face snapped up, almost as though he knew my intentions. I tried not to be weird as I walked across the damp grass and kept my head down, only raising it once I'd reached the gate.

"Hi, Liam," Alice said. Her voice was like a high-pitched version of Edward's—smooth and . . . I don't know, musical or something.

"Hi," I muttered back. She was smiling at me and there was no way I could match it. It was awkward.

Edward didn't look comfortable either. He opened his mouth but didn't say anything.

"Edward will come over to your house soon," she said cheerfully. "If that's okay, of course?" She glanced back and forth between me and Edward expectantly.

It was like she knew exactly what I'd been thinking. What if Alice was the mind-reader? Confused, I muttered. "Um . . . sure."

"Great!" She spotted the others coming across the grass and her smile faulted the tiniest amount. "See you tomorrow, Liam," she said, tilting her head in the direction of my car. Was she telling me to go?

I looked at Edward but he was no help, so I shouldered my bag, making sure he could see I was annoyed.

"Bye," I said as I headed for my truck. As much as I didn't like her dismissing me, she had managed to solve my problems. Edward was coming over to give me answers, at my home, with no one else around.

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I'd only been home a few minutes when I heard his car pull up. I went outside expecting to see all his siblings in the bar, but he was by himself.

"Hey," I greeted him as he got out.

"Hey." Somehow he made the greeting sound proper.

He closed his door and headed toward me but stopped when he was within a few feet—just like last time. It was as if he didn't want to get too close.

"You want to talk out here again?" I asked. Charlie had a couple of old armchairs on the porch and I gestured to those.

Edward nodded so I moved and sat in the far one, helping to keep the distance. He sat stiffly in the other chair, splaying his hands on the arms.

My chair creaked as I tried to get comfortable and the noise seemed to echo between us. Someone had to start talking.

"How did you know?" I asked.

He smiled as he stared out at the street. "You can be very pushy," he commented, briefly meeting my eyes. "Alice likes that about you." Again he stared out into the distance.

She seemed pretty pushy herself but I didn't say that. Instead, I waited for him to answer my question.

Finally, he spoke. "Some of us have special gifts—abilities. Alice . . . she _sees_ things—things that might happen, things that are coming."

"The future?" _Wow._

Edward shook his head slightly. "But it's very subjective. The future isn't set in stone. Things change."

"Still, that's pretty intense. So that's how you knew? Alice s_aw_ what I was going to do?" I asked.

"Yes. And she determined the only way to stop you from doing something like that was to ask you to stop, which is why I came here . . ."

"Right." There was a reason for his impromptu visit. He didn't just show up for a chat that day. Again, it was something he'd done because he had to, not by choice. I stewed on that for a moment, rehashing his words.

"So what's your gift?"

He stared at me intently. "Mind reading."

It was like a punch to my guts. "But you said—"

He cut me off. "I can read every mind I have ever come across, except yours."

I managed to calm down a bit and digested what he'd just said. "Why not mine?"

"I don't know," he said quietly. "The only guess I have is that maybe your mind doesn't work the same way the rest of theirs do. Like your thoughts are on the AM frequency and I'm only getting FM."

"And it's the only time that's ever happened?"

He nodded. "It's very . . . frustrating for me." A slight smile appeared on his face and I looked away quickly. He was too beautiful when he had that look on his face.

And was I ever glad he didn't hear me think that.

"So everything you've known . . . that's because of what Alice can see?" I clarified.

"Or what others think."

I let out a deep breath and tilted my head back. He didn't know how I felt, and as long as no one else knew, he never would.

He chuckled from beside me and I realised how obviously relieved I looked.

"I was worried that you knew what I'd been thinking," I explained.

"Was it that bad?" he asked, his voice light with humor, the slight smile piercing me right in the chest.

I looked at him and a small part of me wished that I could tell him, that there was nothing wrong or weird or different about the thoughts I had.

Instead I just shook my head. "No."

The smile slowly dropped from his lips, the humor gone. His eyes still stared though, their odd golden color vivid in the afternoon light. He was searching my face again and I couldn't let him find the answers.

I hit him with my next question. "What's with your eye color? Do they go black when you're mad? Is that a vampire thing?"

He closed his lids and turned his head away. "They change to black when I'm hungry."

"Oh." I had brief flashes of every time his eyes had been like that. "So today . . . ."

"Today, your heart rate picked up and your pulse was even more pronounced. And then the increase in your temperature enhanced your scent . . ." He stared out into the darkness. "Some people prefer different types of food. It's a similar thing with us—different types of blood are more appealing than others."

"So . . . you like mine?"

He leaned forward in the chair, placing his arms on his thighs. "It's difficult to explain. It's not just that I have a preference for you . . ." He clenched his jaw—frustrated. "Imagine that I am a starving man, dying, and you are the only food I can eat. Everyone else is water. To me, it's not a preference. It feels like a need."

I tried to understand. "Everyone else is water? You don't want anyone else's blood?"

"Not when compared to yours."

"Huh." I'd imagined Edward drinking from me before, and now he was telling me that he wanted to—felt like he needed to, even as recently as today in class. But he hadn't. "Why haven't you . . . ?"

He looked appalled. "Because I refuse to give in. I can survive without your blood; it just feels as though I can't."

Was it that bad? I was willing and he wanted it . . . I took a deep breath and stared at my lap. "Well, for what it's worth, I would let you."

When he didn't respond, I glanced at him. His eyes were the slightest shade darker and his whole body was taut.

"That's not possible," he said with a strained voice. "When we feed, our instincts take over. I would drain you in moments . . . And even if I could somehow muster the control to stop, my venom would enter your blood stream . . ." he trailed off, shaking his head slightly.

"You have venom?" I asked. That hadn't come up in any of my searches.

"Yes."

"So I'd die," I concluded.

"Yes," he repeated.

I pushed my hair away from my face and grappled with what I'd just learned. I shouldn't have been so freaking disappointed, but I'd just assumed he couldn't hurt me like that. Then I remembered what Jacob actually said was they weren't dangerous—they didn't hunt humans—not that they couldn't hurt us.

"So how do you . . . drink?"

"We hunt animals. Their blood is enough to sustain us."

The way he said "sustain" made it clear that's all it was. He'd already mentioned they had preferences and I was guessing animal blood wasn't one of them. But then . . .

"Have you ever had human blood?"

He avoided my gaze. "Yes. A long time ago."

Which probably meant he'd killed someone. For some reason it didn't bother me though—not like it should. Maybe it was the calm way he said it, or that it was "a long time ago," but there was no part of me that begrudged him that blood.

I was more concerned with just how long ago. From my web searches I knew vampire lore said they didn't age, but I'd never really thought about it with Edward.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen," he responded without flinching.

I waited for him to answer my question.

He straightened in his chair. "I was born in 1901 and changed in 1918. That's the point I stopped physically aging."

"And how did you . . . change?"

His brow furrowed. "Carlisle is my maker—my father."

"And the others?"

He shot me an annoyed look and I figured I was pressing him for things he didn't want to tell me.

"Never mind," I added. His hands were clenching and his face was tense. It looked like he was closing down, but I wasn't ready yet. There was too much I still wanted to know.

"If Alice can see the future, what happens to me?" I blurted.

His head snapped in my direction. "I can't answer that."

"Why?"

"Because things change. The future isn't set, it depends on actions and choices. I could tell you what she's seen but it will never come to pass."

"So she has seen things? About me?"

He shook his head as though brushing off my question. "Pushy," he muttered.

As much as I wanted more answers, I didn't want to piss him off. "Fine, I get it," I said. "But I think it sucks that you get to keep what happens—what _might_ happen," I corrected after seeing him about to object, "secret from me. If I knew something like that, I'd tell you."

We sat in silence for a moment and I wondered if I'd gone too far, but then I could see a hint of a smirk at the corner of his mouth. It wasn't a kind one.

"I think it's my turn to ask a question," he announced suddenly.

I was suspicious. "Okay."

He looked straight at me and there was definitely a glimpse of deviousness in his eyes. "Why aren't you going to the spring dance?"

I scoffed because it was like he'd done a complete one-eighty back into a normal conversation. We'd been talking about blood and killing humans, and now he was asking me about the school dance?

"I don't enjoy dances," I answered.

His brow rose questioningly, but I was sure it was for show. "Most people don't go for the dancing. They go to be social, to be around other people. Some want to show off; others just want to see what everyone else is doing—high school politics and such. You must not be very interested in your peers. Why is that?"

My stupid heart beat picked up and I looked away, literally feeling the blood drain away from my face. Somehow, even without being able to read my mind, he knew I was different.

"I don't know why," I responded lamely. I did know, though, and it had everything to do with how I felt about the guy sitting next to me. "I've just . . . never enjoyed them." That part was true.

I glanced back, not sure of what I'd find. His eyes were squinting as he examined my face, but the malice was gone. Instead, his head was tilted and he looked much less certain, guilty even. Concerned?

"I'm not the only one who keeps secrets," he said, drumming his fingers along the armrest.

I swallowed, not sure of what to say. Maybe he didn't know. Maybe he did. He was right though—I was keeping a secret. Having him call me out on that had felt . . . invasive. Was that what I was doing to him?

Edward saved me from any further questioning by standing up.

"This has been . . . interesting," he said. His tone and eyes were apologetic. "I'll see you tomorrow."

And with that he made his way back to his car. I watched from the porch, not moving, not saying goodbye. I'd expected him to tell me everything and yet I wouldn't honestly answer his only question for me.

He pulled out of the driveway and disappeared down the street.

I wondered if he was giving me some kind of ultimatum, like maybe if I told him my secrets, he'd tell me his. It was hard to imagine he would want to know anything about me. It's not like I had any superpowers.

But he had asked.

Could I ever tell him?

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

**A/N: Oy, dialogue overload. This thing took forever to pound out. **

**For the record, I quite like Stephenie's heroin analogy, but I didn't think it was very apt in this situation. In Twilight, E already had a thing for B by this chapter, so he was all crazy for her. Crazy like a junkie! E and Liam don't have the same relationship. Plus... the heroin line has to be one of the most quoted, and I wanted to give it a rest :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you to the reader(s?) who nominated Nightfall in the Vampies. I'm all stoked and stuff. There are a ton of stories up for awards and if you like your fic vamp-style then you should definitely check them out:**

**http:/twificpics[DOT]com/vampawards/**

**Also thanks to the Twilight Girls Next Door for the rec a few weeks back (and the last minute banner making). There's a good mix of interesting AU's in the post. The link is on my profile if you're interested.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world. **

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

**Balancing**

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

I felt better the next morning than I had in days. There was no doubt creeping around in the back of my mind, just a big lump of relief. He couldn't read my mind. He liked the way I smelled. He was over a hundred years old, and I knew because _he'd_ told me.

There was only the slightest tarnish to my good mood, and that was the way he'd left. He'd known I wasn't being entirely honest, and now, well . . . now I felt like I _should_ be, but that was kind of terrifying. For whole minutes, I'd convince myself that telling him was a great idea, and that it would be nice to have a confidant, someone I could talk to about these things—like he could with me. But then I'd try to picture telling him and it would be painful and embarrassing and so I'd been carefully ignoring that train of thought in preference of all the great stuff that had come out of yesterday's conversation.

Today was going to be a good day. Even if I was running a bit late.

I pulled in the parking lot at school and spotted the Volvo. There was no gripping angst, no fear or panic, not even curiosity. It was Edward's car—the same Edward who came over to my house yesterday afternoon and sat on the porch with me for a while.

The Cullens weren't there, most likely already on their way to class given I was later than usual. Quickly, I grabbed my bag, heaved my truck's noisy door closed and hurried to class.

After English, I made my way to Trigonometry. Jessica sat beside me and she seemed distracted, but it was kind of a relief because she talked less and we both got more work done. Every twenty minutes or so, she'd looked up at me with a puzzled expression, or maybe it was concerned. She didn't launch into any details though, and I didn't push her.

Normally we walked together when we left, but today Jessica grabbed her bags and stood up as soon as the bell rang.

"I gotta run," she said and darted out of the room.

Slowly, I packed away the rest of my things and stood up to leave. The buzz of relief I'd felt that morning was still present, something not even school work could pierce. As I walked to Spanish, I felt the anticipation of how my day would unfold building again. Would I talk to him during lunch? That might be too risky given Lauren's suspicions. But surely saying 'hi' was okay? And then there was Biology . . .

I didn't even hear her approach, but all of a sudden, there was the slightest chill in the air and Alice Cullen was walking beside me, her books tucked to her chest.

"Liam, hi!" she said once I'd made eye contact, like it wasn't unusual at all for her to be walking with me.

"Hi," I responded, slowing my steps.

"How are you?"

"Good."

She slowed down as well and then we were both standing still, as though waiting for the other to do something. I was definitely waiting for her. There had to be some reason why she'd approached me in the middle of the day. My chest ached a little when the possibility that it was Edward related occurred to me.

Alice took in my confused expression and smiled. "We walk that way," she said with a wink, nodding her head in the direction we'd been walking.

Turning, I headed along my original path toward my class wondering what had possessed me to stop in the first place. After just a few steps, her words sank in.

"You saw this?" I asked, remembering her ability.

"Yep."

Her smile stretched out further and there was a hint of smugness about it.

"So you know exactly what we're going to talk about?"

"Pretty much. Turn here," she said, indicating the path to building eight. I wasn't headed to building eight though—my class was in five. I stopped and glanced at Alice before looking up the way she'd indicated.

Jessica was about halfway down the path, her back to me as she was chatting to Lauren. Lauren's eyes met mine and her mouth moved and then Jessica turned around, her whole face lighting up when she spied me.

"Hey, Liam! Can you come here a moment?"

I looked at Alice, wide-eyed, wishing she would tell me if this was a bad idea. If it was just Jess, I wouldn't have had a problem, but Lauren was there as well.

Alice shrugged, letting me know it wasn't a big deal. "I wait here."

"Okay." Hesitantly, I made my way over to Jessica, glancing back every now and then to see if Alice was still there. The whole scene had a dream-like quality. Like deja vu, except real.

As soon as I was in earshot, Jessica began. "So listen, I know you said you aren't going to the dance, but Angela doesn't have a partner . . ." she trailed off, giving me a pleading look. Lauren seemed to leer at me from behind Jess.

"Sorry, Jess. I can't go," I said, uncomfortable with Lauren's gaze and wondering what she would make of me and Alice walking together.

Jess made a sulking face and started to beg. "I don't understand why, though. Angela is _really _nice. Why won't you just . . . go?"

She looked all puzzled and confused again, and for a moment, I wanted to give in. Lauren standing there with a slight grin on her face was enough to keep me from doing it though.

"There has to be someone else, right? What about Tyler?" I suggested.

"He's going with Lauren."

"Eric?"

"Ew, no. Besides, I think Samantha is going with him."

"Ben?"

She pressed her lips together. "He's too short for her . . ."

That was pretty superficial, and I didn't hide it from Jess that I thought so.

"Fine, I'll ask Ben," she said, rolling her eyes.

"He's a nice guy," I added a little defensively, and she nodded. "I'll see you later."

"Okay, and thanks." Jess gave me a small wave before turning away.

Lauren's eyes flicked from me to Alice in the distance and back again. "See you at lunch, Liam."

I didn't say bye to Lauren before heading back to where Alice was still waiting. She was still smiling, completely unfazed by my normal human problems.

"So . . . what else do we do?" I asked a little bitterly as I continued walking to class.

"Well, I tell you that I haven't seen much of your future, only a few bits and pieces—although I am seeing more every day."

Her eyebrows went up and her smile got even bigger. That combined with her weird colored eyes made her look kind of snake-like.

I looked back to the path and watched as the other students seemed to automatically give us a wide berth.

"What sort of things?" I asked.

She tilted her head to the other side. "Enough to know . . . about you."

"Really," I said somberly, not sure if she was insinuating what I thought she was. If she really did know, that wasn't great, but there was always a chance she was talking about something else.

"It's okay, there's nothing bad," she added, and nwardly I was relieved.

We walked a few more steps in silence until she spoke again.

"You ask me about something that's been worrying you."

"I do?"

I probably should have said "which thing." I was a little worried by what Alice had just said, and not knowing if she really knew or not, and I was a little worried that Alice had decided to walk with me out of the blue and Lauren had seen it. Neither of them were that bad though.

And then I remembered the other thing, the one I'd been carefully avoiding thinking about because I was so torn on what to do. Should I confide in Edward and answer his question, or should I keep it to myself for fear of what his reaction would be? I glanced at Alice and realized if I was going to ask her that, then she must already know. There was still a gnawing fear that she didn't though, and that I'd be shooting myself in the foot if I said anything.

She saw me hesitating and gave me an expectant look. She knew what was going to happen, and it looked like I was going to ask. But that also meant she _knew_ the answer and could tell me what choice I eventually make.

I searched for the right words, something vague enough. "Do I tell him?" I asked her.

She smiled, approval evident in her expression. "Yep. He finds out eventually, even if you don't. But if you want my advice . . . the sooner, the better. Leaving it just makes him trust you less."

"Oh."

We were back to building three and I stopped walking, not sure if we'd finished talking or not. Alice turned and looked up at me, straight into my eyes.

"Invite him over," she said and then began backing away. "Later, Liam."

"Bye," I mumbled as she spun around and walked away with light steps.

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

In Biology, I was later getting to class than Edward. He was already in his seat, nothing in front of him on the lab table. I slid into my own stool beside him, wondering if he'd acknowledge me. He hadn't at lunch, but I'd been kind of grateful because Lauren had been watching me like a hawk.

He turned and looked at me, and then the corner of his mouth turned up the tiniest degree.

"Hi."

Inside, I was relieved he'd said something. It meant he probably was just ignoring me earlier because of Lauren.

"Hi," I said back, swinging my bag up onto the table and opening it.

"We're watching the movie again today," he said, stopping me.

"Oh, right." I pulled the zip back closed and dropped my bag on the floor and tried to mentally prepare myself for more sitting in the dark next to Edward.

Mr. Banner walked through the door then and straight to the trolley that was still sitting in the corner of the room housing the TV and VCR.

"Hopefully we'll finish this off today and then we can move onto our next topic . . ." he said as he cued up the movie to the correct place.

From beside me, I could see Edward's amusement. I waited until he looked my way and then mouthed "what?" at him.

He shook his head slightly as though telling me not to worry about it, but then he must of changed his mind because he picked up his bag and pulled out his notebook and a pen. After scribbling something down too quickly for a human, he pushed the book across to me.

_He has no intention of finishing the film today. At the moment he's stalling so there's enough leftover to fill tomorrow's_ _lesson as well._

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. This mind reading thing was definitely very cool.

_I'm not complaining, _I wrote back.

He laughed silently and met my eyes and it there was a complete lack of tension; no vampire and human differences, no blood and thirst, just the two of us sharing a joke. I smiled back, probably more enthusiastically than I should have, but I couldn't help it. And then before I changed my mind, I pulled the notebook back toward me and scribbled down my question.

_Can you come over this afternoon?_

He watched me write it but I still pushed it over anyway. There was a trace of concern in the way his brow furrowed, but he still nodded, and I bit my bottom lip and focused on the movie to keep calm.

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

Edward showed up only a few minutes after me, the same as he had the day before. I got myself a soda and sat out on the porch in the same seat as yesterday. He got out of his car and joined me.

"Alice talked to me at school today," I said as he was sitting down.

He grimaced slightly. "And what did she have to say?"

"That she could see more of my future each day."

He smirked but didn't say anything.

"So I was thinking," I said, swallowing my nerves, "that maybe if I was completely honest with you, you could tell me what she sees?"

He turned his head to me, his mouth slightly ajar, surprised by my offer. "Okay," he said.

I took a deep breath and stared out over the street and remembered Alice's assurances from earlier. He was going to find out eventually . . .

"I'm different," I began. "You asked why I didn't want to go to the spring dance, and the reason why, the _real_ reason why, is that I'm . . . not like the others." I snuck a quick peek at Edward and found him watching me carefully, but looking at him just made me more nervous, so I stared off into the distance again. "I'm not really into the whole dancing thing. With girls."

The silence that followed was painful. I picked up my soda and drank, needing something to fill the empty feeling that sprung up inside me. The liquid didn't really help though. I needed Edward to say something. _Anything_.

I kept my head down and tried to prompt him. "So . . ."

"You don't have feelings for Jessica?" he asked.

"Huh?"

His face was scrunched up as though he was trying his hardest to make sense of what I was saying.

"Aren't you interested in her?"

I laughed because that was ridiculous. "Why would you think that?"

He looked almost angry now, but it didn't feel like it was directed at me, more at himself.

After a short pause, he clarified, "You like males?"

I nodded. "I've never really felt anything for girls . . . in that way."

He stared up at the sky and took a deep breath in through his nose. "It's disconcerting, not knowing your thoughts. I knew some things from Alice, but others . . . some of their thoughts are wrong . . ." he trailed off. After a moment he added, "Lauren is right," with a hint of surprise in his voice.

"She knows, doesn't she?" I asked.

He nodded and gave me an apologetic look. "She suspects."

"And that's why I'm staying away from her."

"Alice saw Lauren making your life difficult, spreading rumors and trying to ostracize you. Now that you're avoiding her, she's losing interest."

"I guess that's a good thing," I said. What he was describing was exactly what I'd always feared.

"Jessica Stanley thinks you fancy her."

I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Jessica is dating Mike now."

Edward looked amused. "Well, she believes that to be the reason you've been feeling low lately. She notices you avoiding them, and then you weren't attending the dance. In her defence, it did make sense."

He sounded a little too defensive.

"You thought that as well?" I asked.

He smiled. "Honestly, I didn't know what to think. For the first time in my life. Lauren's theories were at odds with your behavior, but it did look like you were distressed by Jessica and Mike being together."

"I'm not though. I was just trying to not be too much of a third wheel."

There was another lull which neither of us seemed willing to fill. I was annoyed that I'd managed to give Jess that impression, and I was worried that maybe Mike shared it. They were the closest friends I had at school and I didn't want to mess that up.

After a few moments, Edward spoke again. "You're not so different. There are many people out there who feel the same way you feel. The reality is that confusion is normal."

"I don't feel normal," I said a little too sharply, but his words felt condescending. There was another uncomfortable silence and I felt like a dick for being a bit rude. Edward seemed to be concentrating really hard.

"Have you ever . . ." He stopped as though rethinking his words. "Most people don't until they meet someone else who is like them—someone who feels the same way."

He was asking me if I'd ever been with anyone. In the past, when anyone asked me about that I'd tell a story about a girl I kissed once in freshman year and embellish it until there was a proper relationship, but I didn't want to lie to Edward. Not like that.

"There's no one," I said and was struck by how pathetic that was.

It must have shown in my face, because then he was being all caring.

"I understand more than you realize," he said.

"What, you like guys, too?" I was mocking him, and that was my only intention, but deep down the tiny piece of hope I had, the bit I kept out of my mind, flared as soon as I said it.

"Mind reader, remember." He tapped his temple. "Like I said, you're not the only one who feels this way."

"Right." I slumped back in the chair feeling even more disappointed.

"I find females attractive, but I understand how you could be attracted to another male." He looked away and surveyed the darkening sky. "To me, thoughts are the most important attribute. A woman can be beautiful, the most stunning specimen on the planet, but if her thoughts are unpleasant, her appearance means nothing to me."

His tone was firmer than his words required, and I got the sense that this was something he'd come up against a number of times. I tried to imagine it—meeting the best looking guy in the world and then hearing what he was like on the inside.

"That must be hard."

"It is very . . . difficult." His lips turned up in a resigned smile, telling me he was used to it now.

"Can you block them out?" I asked.

"I doubt it."

"You've never tried?"

"I can block out noise, the general thoughts that are everywhere all the time. It's harder when the thoughts involve me. I'm drawn in, even when I don't want to be." He ran his hands over his thighs a few times. "People think a lot when they are in those situations, much more than they realize. And their thoughts are usually vulgar or critical . . . or worse."

He hadn't said it outright, but Edward Cullen was telling me he had never been close to anyone. It was strange to have _that _in common with him when we were so different in every other way. His situation was sadder though. The odds were that I _would_ find someone one day, probably not for a little while, but I never doubted I would meet someone eventually.

Edward might never. He'd been a mind reader since early last century and in all that time I was the first person whose thoughts he couldn't read.

"Maybe you'll meet a girl like me one day—someone whose thoughts you can't hear?" I said, trying to sound encouraging.

"Maybe," he agreed, but he didn't look like he believed it. "I should go," he said, standing up and smoothly pulling his keys from his pocket.

I hadn't expected him to leave so soon, but I understood why he wanted to. Our conversation wasn't exactly enjoyable.

"So tomorrow," I said before he escaped down the front steps, "you'll tell me about what Alice has seen?"

He cracked a smile and replied with, "Pushy," before continuing on to his car.

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

**A/N: Life is a little hectic at the moment but I'll keep doing my best to get these out. Thanks for reading :) **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who left a review after the last chapter, and for being lovely and patient. Super big thanks**** to TwilightMundi for taking on beta duties.**

**Rosalie will probably seem pretty OOC to you in this chapter, but I don't think she is. In MS we know she is hostile toward Bella because she is kinda jealous that E finds B attractive when he was never interested in Rosalie. I think Rosalie would love it if E was interested in a guy because that would explain everything from her point of view. Plus, Liam isn't giving up the ability to bear children by shacking up with a vamp.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world.**

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

**Confessions**

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

The rain picked up after Edward left and I figured it was probably a good time to knock over some homework. For a change, I had it all complete within an hour, just before Charlie got home. I went downstairs expecting dinner and instead came face-to-face with Jacob Black.

"Hi," I said, surprised.

"Hey." He sounded a lot more casual than me, and looked it when his relaxed smile spread over his face. I was pretty certain I never looked that laid-back when I was fifteen.

"Will, you remember Billy?" Charlie called out, indicating the old guy in the wheelchair who was with Charlie in the kitchen. It had been a long time since I'd seen Billy, but I would have recognized him without Charlie's introduction.

"Sure." I walked over and shook Billy's hand, feeling it slip slightly and realizing they must have gotten drenched coming in through the rain. What the hell were they doing driving here in those conditions?

"We're gonna watch the game," Charlie said, answering my unspoken question as he headed to the fridge.

"Our TV broke last week," Jacob added, flashing more of his perfectly white teeth.

Charlie handed us both sodas and we followed them into the living room. I didn't sit down, too busy trying to think of what I could eat.

"Anyone hungry?"

"Sure," Charlie answered.

I looked at Billy and Jake.

"We ate before we came over," Jake said. "Didn't want to impose too much unannounced."

Jacob followed me back into the kitchen and hung around while I put together some grilled cheese sandwiches. He talked about his car and I listened, not really having much to contribute. I didn't want to mention Edward at all, which left me with little to share about myself. My life seemed to revolve around him lately.

We ate dinner in front of the TV, and I pretended to be just as enthusiastic about the game as the others, although I don't think I was fooling anyone. When the game finished Billy and Charlie arranged to go fishing on Saturday and Jacob talked about how I should bring my friends back to the beach soon. Then we were helping Billy out of the chair and into the car and Jake was driving off down the street.

"That was nice," I said, thinking Charlie must have liked having his best friend stop by.

"Yeah," he agreed, opening the door to let us both back inside. "I haven't seen them since I picked up the truck."

"Really?" I'd assumed that Charlie had been going out to the Rez to see Billy when he was fishing.

Charlie's mustache rose on one side. "We had a bit of a falling out not too long ago—nothing too bad."

I collected the plates and took them into the kitchen. "What about?"

"Just one of the families in town."

I turned on the faucet to fill the sink. "The Cullens," I said without really thinking.

Charlie paused just outside the kitchen, beer can in hand. "Yeah. How'd you know?"

"Oh, um . . . Jake mentioned something."

Charlie nodded. "Folks around here can be a bit prejudiced," he said, his tone indicating he thought maybe Jake was, too.

"Jake didn't say anything bad. And I like the Cullens. Edward's kinda . . . a friend."

"That's great," Charlie said approvingly. "They're good kids, the Cullens. Good people."

"Yeah." Charlie was way off the mark with the people part, but they were good. It was nice knowing that Charlie thought that too, that he wasn't like all the people at school who avoided them without any real reason.

"I'll wash the dishes," Charlie mumbled, gently pushing me out of the way of the sink. "You cooked."

"Thanks. I guess I'll head up to bed then." I didn't move straight away because Charlie was still staring at me.

Then he smiled fondly. "Goodnight, Son."

I returned the look. "Night . . . _Dad_."

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

I caught a few glimpses of Edward the next day before lunch, and every time I had to struggle not to stare. He had on a cream-colored sweater, which was nothing spectacular in itself, but somehow it made him look really, really . . . good.

Obscenely good.

And he had to know it. A lot of girls openly eyed him when he passed them by, and if that wasn't enough of a hint, surely their thoughts were screaming at him. And all I could think about was how Edward knew I liked guys now and that maybe, _maybe_ he'd worn that sweater on purpose, knowing it made him look good.

I spent most of the morning torturing myself, trying to decide if the sweater had anything to do with me, and then berating myself because that was stupid. Edward liked girls. He'd said so. Then I'd moved on to worrying about how I was going to keep my pulse from racing and the blood out of my dick in Biology.

Once again, I didn't notice Alice Cullen until she was right next to me.

"Come and sit with us today," she said at the start of lunch, not in a demanding way, but it definitely wasn't a question.

I glanced at my usual table with Mike and Jess and Eric already in their places. "I guess I already do?"

She laughed instead of answering me, then turned and glided off to the other end of the cafeteria. I followed, tray in hand.

Edward was already sitting there, which was just great. I avoided looking at him. I didn't need an audience of vampires listening to me getting excited. I mean, it was just a sweater, but somehow it was just the right fit and I couldn't look at him without staring at his neck and the little bones that were peeking out from the collar, or his biceps which were pretty clearly outlined, or how his chest tapered down.

My pulse picked up and I pondered if maybe I could fool them into thinking I was frightened?

"Hey," I greeted Edward as I sat down, chancing a quick glance to see his reaction.

He gave a tense smile to me in and a quick scowl to Alice, which confirmed it was probably her idea that I sit with them today. Not his.

Jasper walked up behind Alice but stopped when he was still a couple of feet away.

"Liam, this is Jasper," Alice said in her usual cheery tone. He looked stiff and kind of grim, not welcoming like Alice. He was more like Edward used to be—kind of menacing.

"Hi."

He nodded at me in what I guess was a sort of friendly way, then pulled out the chair on the other side of Alice and sat down. His movements seemed more calculated and less fluid compared to the others.

"Doesn't Edward look nice in that sweater, Jasper?" Alice said, glancing at me and smiling widely as I tried not to choke.

Jasper smirked at Edward, a secretive look on his face. "Yes, he does." He choked back a laugh when Edward glared at him, and I knew for certain there was definitely _something_ I was missing.

"So," Alice began, "Edward said I can tell you about what I've seen. Where should we start? I guess the beginning, although they are the more disturbing visions. The more recent ones are much better." She had an almost cheeky look on her face as she looked at me, like she was teasing. But was it about her _recent_ visions or the disturbing earlier ones?

"I know he wanted to drain me, if that's what you mean by disturbing?" I said, taking a forkful of pasta and trying not to sound too short.

Alice's eyes flicked between Edward and me, like she was wondering what she should say. Jasper spoke before she could.

"He still wants to," he said, staring at Edward.

"Jasper!"

"Alice, it's true. Liam needs to understand," Edward said, his brow furrowed as he glowered at the table top. "The urge is still there."

I swallowed my pasta like it was a thick wad of cardboard. Edward looked and sounded so full of shame, but it wasn't as if he could help who he was.

"Well, well, well," came a voice from behind. The giant Cullen appeared and headed for his seat. "What have we here?"

"Liam, this is Emmett," Alice said, "and Rosalie," she added when the beautiful blonde one sat down.

Rosalie gave me a smile almost as friendly as Alice's. "Nice to meet you. Finally." When she caught Edward's eye he didn't return the smile. Instead he rolled his eyes like he thought she was being ridiculous.

"So, Liam, what brings you to the table of the undead?" Emmett asked in a lowered voice, his huge grin making him seem open and warm, despite his intimidating size.

I couldn't help but look around to check if any of the other students had heard him. There was a much wider gap between the Cullens' table and everyone else's. Like they purposely didn't sit too close. And everyone was talking loudly in their own groups—no chance of overhearing our conversation. Then I saw Jess looking at me and I felt a sharp pang of guilt for sitting somewhere else. But then I remembered what Edward had said and figured a bit more distance was probably a good idea.

"Alice thought I should sit with you today," I answered, turning my attention back to the table.

"I finally get to tell him," Alice added excitedly.

"Must we do this with an audience?" Edward's voice droned out. He didn't look pleased that the others were there.

"But we wanna hear, too." Rosalie pouted.

"Oh, we're doing it now," Alice said. "Liam's sick of waiting, aren't you?"

She looked straight at me making me too self-conscious to continue eating. I nodded so she'd focus on something else.

"We've already mentioned that I saw Edward sucking the life out of Liam, but that was months ago—your first day of school. It was never a solid vision though; he never really decided to do it." She gave Edward what I could only call a proud look. "But it did take all day for me to see anything else."

"Which was?" I asked.

She hesitated and glanced at Edward before saying anything but his eyes were still firmly fixed on the table.

"You," she said quietly. "With red eyes."

I scrunched my brow up trying to understand the significance, probably looking even more stupid than I felt.

"Human blood causes a vampire's eyes to appear red," Rosalie explained, sensing my confusion. "For you to have red eyes would mean you were either a human-hunting vampire, or a newborn."

"A newborn?"

She smiled like she was breaking bad news to me. "Someone who has only just been changed into a vampire."

"So . . . what you're saying is that I will become a vampire?" I asked, unable to hide the sudden nerves in my voice. It wasn't like I hadn't considered the idea of being like Edward, but having it preordained was kind of terrifying.

"Nothing Alice sees is absolute," Edward said forcefully.

"But some of her visions have been." I couldn't help but defend her. "Like today, right? You said I would eat lunch with you." Alice opened her mouth to speak but Edward stopped her.

"She sees things and then orchestrates the scene. Can you honestly say that if she hadn't told you to sit with us that you would have come here of your own volition?"

Come to think of it, she had always said something. "No."

"Relax, Edward," Rosalie said before leaning toward me. "Edward's just upset because Alice's vision probably means that one of us will end up latching onto you at some point, and he's riddled with guilt over the thought."

"We've all had to swear we won't," Emmett added, an amused glint in his eye that was definitely directed at Edward.

It was hard to be scared when Emmett was being so disarming. It gave me room to be objective. "So, that's how it will happen? One of you will drink from me?"

Rosalie glared at Edward. "You haven't even told him?"

He didn't answer her, just picked up the bagel on his plate and proceeded to tear it to pieces.

Jasper spoke up. "We have venom," he said.

"I know that."

"Well, what you obviously aren't aware of is that if venom were to enter your bloodstream, it would slowly and _painfully_ transform you from a living, breathing human, into one of us." Jasper stared at me, like he was waiting for his revelation to sink it.

I turned to Edward. "You said I'd die."

He didn't look up. "Technically, you would."

I chanced a mouthful of food and regretted it instantly. Honestly, I wasn't nearly as freaked out about how I'd be changed as I was by the knowledge that I probably would be—regardless of what Edward said. At least "changing" didn't involve drinking their blood or being buried alive or anything.

"It sounds pretty straightforward," I said, more out loud than I'd meant to. Suddenly five vampires were staring at me like I was a poor, stupid child.

Jasper's voice was clear and precise, every word measured. "Venom burns. It feels like your entire body is on fire, and it lasts for days. And nothing eases the pain. Nothing. There's no way to make it stop once it's started. You just wish for death."

Rosalie looked down at her tray of untouched food, as did Emmett. I couldn't imagine her going through that. She looked . . . indestructible.

"Sounds horrible," I said, knowing it was insufficient.

"That's only the beginning," Jasper continued. "When it's complete, you're a newborn, and your only desire is for blood—_human_ blood. You don't care about anything or anyone, just the burn in your throat that can only be sated by drinking. It takes months to gain any control over yourself."

"You lose everything human," Rosalie added. "Your family, friends, future. Your warmth, the ability to sleep, even the need to breathe."

"Okay," I said, haunted by the look in her eyes. "I get it. Being a vampire sucks."

Emmett cocked a smile that only looked a little forced. "It's not all bad."

I tried to return it. "So, what are the good bits?" If I was going to go through all that, I wanted to know if it was worth it.

He nodded. "Strength," he said. "Speed," he added, glancing at Edward.

"I knew it," I said, thinking back to the accident and how he'd managed to get to me so fast.

"Seeing the future," Alice said, a very knowing look in her eyes as she smiled at Edward.

"Let me guess," I added, also looking his way. "Mind reading?"

Edward met my eyes before glaring at Alice. "Definitely not."

They were quiet for a moment until Rosalie opened her mouth. "Sparkling," she said, her whole face breaking into a laugh along with the others. Even Edward cracked a grin.

"Sparkling?"

"You mean Edward hasn't shown you yet?" she added, her face full of mock innocence.

I looked at Edward but he was back to glaring at the table top. Then the bell rang and Emmett actually whined that they were out of time.

"I guess we'll talk about the rest later," Alice said, pushing her chair back and grabbing her tray. "Since you're not going to the dance, maybe you could come over to our house tomorrow." Her eyes flicked to Edward's in a challenging way.

He stared back. "That wouldn't be wise."

"Oh, butt out, I'm orchestrating." Then she turned back to me, he face friendly again. "See you at four minutes past ten."

I watched, a little stunned, as they all stood up and carried their trays to the trash. Edward was the last to rise and he did so slowly, standing up to his full height before reaching down to collect his tray. I stared at his arms and his chest.

_Right_.

The sweater.

I swallowed and it probably sounded like a bass drum to all their ears. Alice turned back, a pleased look on her face.

"I should pick your clothes every day," she said to Edward, before lithely heading off toward the exit.

That's what I'd missed. Alice knew I'd like the sweater, which meant Edward did, too. I couldn't help the small helpless groan that escaped me.

Edward gave me an apologetic look. "Biology?" he asked.

"Sure."

I was almost too embarrassed to realize it was the first time we'd walked to class together.

**.+.+.+.+.+.**


	12. Chapter 12

**sorry sorry sorry sorry. I just had a bb, and I spent the two months before bb being lazy and reading Merlin slash (which is all kinds of awesome and really, my writing is quite shit in comparison. You should all be reading that instead). Super big thanks to TwilightMundi for the beta.**

I'm messing with a pretty big scene in canon here. There is no trip to The Meadow. Why? Because it never made a lot of sense to me. I mean, why would he hike her out there for hours? The Meadow isn't pivotal as a setting (I'm guessing it's only there because it was in the dream) and the Cullens have a great big forest surrounding their house which Liam is able to drive to, so . . . yeah.

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world.**

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**Mind Over Matter**

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Biology wasn't as difficult as I was expecting. We were finally finishing off Lorenzo's Oil and it was easy to focus on the screen and pretend Edward didn't know I found him attractive. It was easy because there were so many other things I had to think about now.

Like being a vampire.

I tried to imagine what it would be like. Jasper had said all I'd care about would be drinking blood. It was hard to imagine that—what it would be like with no control. I wouldn't be able to be around Charlie anymore, or Renee. I'd have to disappear.

I'd probably become one of the Cullens.

Alice had had a vision of me like that, so it felt like it was a foregone conclusion, but then Edward was adamant it may not happen. I had to wonder if I had any control over whether it did or not. Could it possibly be my choice?

What would I choose?

It wasn't as if my life had been amazing so far. There wasn't anything special about me—well, apart from the bit where I liked guys, but that was far from a blessing. It wasn't like I was going to grow up and meet a nice girl and have a family. I didn't have a lot of friends, and even those I did have, I wasn't exactly close to. I had no plans for my future—nothing beyond going to college somewhere I could afford.

With an audible sigh I realized there wouldn't be much to miss. Being a vampire would be an improvement, even with the pain and the blood thirst and the dying. It would be _something_.

I tried to sneak a glance at Edward but he caught me. Stupid over-developed vampire senses. He gave me an apologetic sort of smile and I probably should have been embarrassed by Alice and the sweater again but instead I felt a lot better. He was still human, figuratively, and the thought of being around him, possibly for ever, well, that wasn't bad either.

Edward looked back to the screen and I lowered my eyes to his chest, allowing myself one good unabashed look at him. I didn't ogle—I wasn't stupid enough to try and get away with that in class—I eyed him just enough to appreciate the sweater again without worrying about him catching me. And as I casually went back to pretending to watch the movie, something occurred to me.

Alice had picked the sweater for Edward. She'd _known_ that I'd like it. That was a tiny little detail, nothing too conspicuous, but . . . Edward could read minds, so he must've known too.

And yet he'd worn it.

Why?

The most obvious answer didn't make any sense given Edward was straight, and yet, nothing else made sense either. Sure, maybe he just wanted to see my reaction, or maybe just fuck with my head a bit, but that didn't seem like Edward. And it made me wonder . . . maybe Edward wasn't entirely straight after all?

The credits began to roll and Mr. Banner stopped the tape. My thoughts were put on hold as he half-heartedly began explaining the relevance of the film and what we should have learned. He wrote some notes on the board for us to copy, along with questions for us to "think about" before Monday, and then dismissed us a few minutes early.

I glanced at Edward and found he was already watching me. Was it an _interested_ look?

"So . . ." I searched for something to say. "Are you coming over this afternoon?" It seemed innocuous enough, and after the little revelation I'd just had, knowing if hanging out with me was the sort of thing he wanted to do was kind of crucial.

Edward's brow furrowed, but only a little bit. "No."

"Okay," I said, trying to sound unfazed, then unzipped my bag only to realize I didn't have to pack anything away.

"I need to hunt tonight," Edward added. "It's a precaution. For tomorrow."

"Oh." I stopped fiddling with my bag and looked him in the eye again.

And then there was a different idea in my head, one of Edward hunting animals, latching onto their throats and . . . lots of blood. Edward lunging. Edward biting. Edward drinking. I wanted to be able to see it.

"I need to be able to resist," he added, his eyes pointedly slipping over my neck before staring at the desk.

I wished, not for the first time, that he could just drink from me, then took a deep breath and shouldered my bag.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." I hopped off my stool and turned away, but his arm reached out and grabbed me so carefully, I barely felt it.

"You don't have to come."

I stared at his hand on my arm, the cold touch so inhuman yet not unfamiliar. He noticed and abruptly let go, which annoyed me because he was assuming I didn't like it.

"I want to."

His eyes glanced around, checking the others were leaving. "Alice's visions . . . they've been stronger, more certain, after you said you would. It's dangerous for you."

There was a small spike of fear at his words. Was it going to be so soon?

"You won't hurt me," I said, barely managing to keep the uncertainty out of my voice, then turned and walked out before he could try to convince me otherwise.

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On Saturday morning, I tried doing some homework, actually did some laundry, and then gave up trying to wait until eleven just to spite Alice and just got ready to go to the Edward's.

Alice had made sure I knew where they lived and I managed to find it, despite the house not being visible at all from the street. The house itself was huge, had to be the biggest in Forks, but that kind of fit with the Cullen family—immaculate, exclusive, beautiful. Before I got out of the truck I glanced at my watch. It was just after ten in the morning, just like she'd said it would be.

I approached the door and had a brief moment where I worried what I'd do if Doctor Cullen answered, but then it swung open before I could knock. Alice stood there, smiling brightly.

"Hi," I said, climbing up the few steps to the porch.

"Hi. Come on in."

Okay, so the house was huge, and decorated like something off TV—the type of decorating that Renée always claimed she loved, yet failed to replicate in any way. I'd always thought that Forks seemed stuck a few decades behind, but this house sure wasn't. Alice led me through to a living area where the other Cullens, _all_ the other Cullens, were sitting and standing around. They looked carefully arranged, the whole scene straight from a furniture catalogue or something.

"Look who's here," she announced. They all acknowledged me, either with a wave or a nod, or in Edward's case, a stern look.

I gave a general nod and said "Hi," feeling more than a little trapped. I was expecting Edward and maybe a couple of the others, not everyone, and it was disconcerting. They were all staring at me and I didn't know who to look at, letting my eyes flick from one to the other nervously, my smile forced and uncomfortable on my face. The lack of conversation became startlingly obvious, and Alice jumped to fill the gap.

"This is our mother, Esme," Alice said, steering me towards the kitchen. Esme didn't look that much older than the others—definitely not old enough to be their mother, and I briefly wondered how anyone could ever believe this was a regular family. Esme gave me a fond smile with crinkly eyes and shook my hand.

"And you've already met Carlisle," Alice added.

Doctor Cullen didn't hold out his hand. "Nice to see you again, William. How's your dad?"

"He's okay," I answered automatically.

"Good to hear."

Doctor Cullen's smile wasn't nearly as off-putting as everyone else's. His was easier, like he knew exactly how I was feeling, and that made me feel more relaxed.

"Well," he said, touching Esme's arm gently, "we just wanted to say hello. No need to make you feel like an exhibition," he added, pointedly looking over my shoulder in the direction of the others. "We'll be upstairs if you need us," he said to Alice.

She smiled and nodded in a reassuring way and I realized what they were really saying. To get him if Alice saw anything bad was going to happen. The nerves that had settled while talking to Carlisle came back ten-fold, and I had to remind myself that I wasn't uncertain about this. It was what I wanted.

"Edward," Alice called out. "How would you and Liam like to go for a walk?"

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

Edward led me out through the shaded forest. It smelled earthier out there, or maybe it was the lack of sound that made it seem that way. It was eerily quiet.

"They'll all be watching us," Edward commented with a backward glance at the house.

"Checking on you?"

A short laugh escaped him. "I'm sure that's part of it."

We continued to walk, not in any rush.

"So, how far do we have to go before they can no longer hear us?"

"Further than I want to. It wouldn't be safe." He paused and gestured to a fallen log. It looked like it had been ripped out of the ground, the broken dry roots all visible and sticking out the end.

I sat down and waited for him to join me. He didn't.

"Do you ever get sick of it? I mean, having them be able to hear you all the time, and Alice being able to _see_ everything?"

"I'm used to it now, we all are. And they're used to me," he added. I'd forgotten he could hear all their thoughts. "Alice and I make an effort to not be too invasive; we try to preserve their privacy, out of respect. It's in our own best interests anyway. There are some things you don't want to know about your family." He smiled and looked almost coy. "We don't have secrets from each other."

My whole life felt secretive, like there was always something I was holding back and not telling people about. I wondered if that would be different if I was part of the Cullens, then stopped, not wanting to send my thoughts down that path until I knew it was a real possibility.

"So . . ." I began, "What else did Alice see?"

Edward changed his mind then and sat down on the log as well, a good distance away.

"After the first two visions, there were more. And they became more frequent. There was the accident—Alice saw what was about to happen, although only just before." He sounded almost apologetic.

I nodded, wanting him to continue. The accident wasn't what I was interested in.

"There were a lot of glimpses of you at school, things you would be doing. There was blood-typing. I mentioned Lauren and what could have happened there." He paused and seemed to smell the air, his head tilted back slightly. "That's when they started to change."

"Change?"

"You'd already shown that you were trustworthy after the accident," he continued. "And I guess some part of the visions made me see you as a potential friend. When Lauren was thinking about making your life difficult, I wanted to interfere." He sighed. "It's been a long time since I've wanted to try and change a human's future."

"And that changed Alice's visions?"

Edward stretched out his legs and gripped his hands together. "Alice still sees you as a human a lot of the time—and there are glimpses that could be years away—but she sees you as a vampire more and more. And she sees you with me."

_"...with me." _His words echoed around in my head for a bit. I wanted to ask in what way, but he'd said it so casually that there was no way he meant it like _that_.

"So it's likely I'll survive today," I joked.

Thankfully, Edward smiled. "Yes. It's likely, if you trust Alice's wildly inaccurate premonitions."

We sat in silence for a bit until I couldn't stand it anymore.

"I'm okay with becoming a vampire," I said, a bit impulsively. He may as well know.

"Don't say that."

"I am, though. It's not like I'm giving up a great life."

Edward glared at me. "You would still be giving up life. Our family—most of us are vampires because the only alternative was death. What you consider giving up . . . it's akin to suicide."

"But my life could be better. I wouldn't have to worry about . . . being different."

Edward shook his head, brought his hands up to drag through his hair. "It's abhorrent that you think dying is better than living as a gay man. You don't even know what it could be like; you've never talked to anyone about it. Your father—"

"I don't want Charlie to know." At Edward's glum look, I added, "Ever."

"He's more understanding than you give him credit for."

I laughed, because that was not my dad. Charlie was withdrawn and emotionally stunted. Just the way I liked him.

Edward scrunched his face up as though reluctant to say his next words. "He already thinks you are."

My mind jolted because Charlie couldn't know. I'd been _careful_.

"He would understand," he added.

I swallowed before talking. I'd already made up my mind about this and I didn't want Edward changing it. "Look, I don't want him to have to _understand_. It would be easier if I could just . . . " _start __over_. I didn't bother finishing the sentence. It was cowardly and there was no way I could justify wanting to become a vampire that way. It was never the real reason anyway—that was always Edward, but I couldn't tell him that, could I?

"Even if he would understand, that's not the life I want." I looked at Edward and stared at his weird-colored eyes, trying to tell him what I did want without having to say the words. I wanted to be near him, to get to know him, and if that meant eventually becoming a vampire, well, so be it.

He met my gaze without flinching and after a few beats he gave a small nod, like he understood, before looking away. It was too simple though—there was no way he caught what I wasn't saying.

"Alice's vision of us together," he continued, "I didn't take it seriously because it wasn't possible. Your scent—even now, it's a strain to be close to you. And it was easy to tell myself that my interest was only because you were so unique, that I needed to know what you were doing because I couldn't _hear_ it. And then there were urges, at first just to check on you, but then they became more . . . protective." He smiled slightly, amused by his thoughts. "Everyone else in the family seemed to know what was happening well before it occurred to me."

"What was happening?"

"Vampires can become . . . attached to one person." He was smiling but it was like he was trying not to. "I'd always believed a person's thoughts were what appealed to me. But with you . . . I can't hear anything. Somewhere between finding that intriguing and discovering that I could sit next to you without endangering your life, I've become attached to you. More than I should."

He was silent for a moment before rolling his eyes. "_Attracted _is probably a more correct word for it."

From the house there came a very distinct Alice-sounding squeal.

I scoffed, because his words hadn't really sunk in. He had to be joking, right? Then I saw the touch of hurt on his face that my reaction caused.

"Sorry. It's just a bit . . . unexpected. I mean, you said you like girls?"

He grimaced. "When I said that, I was still trying to distance myself from you. Not that it was a lie; it has always been the case in the past. I've never met anyone like you before though, male or female."

"So you like me because of my mind?" I asked jokingly.

"Perhaps."

He was being serious. Edward Cullen was telling me that I wasn't crazy, that I wasn't completely off the mark when I suspected his motives for wearing the sweater. He was staring at me now, waiting for my reaction, and for the first time I let myself imagine the intensity in his eyes wasn't just frustration and bloodlust after all, that there was another kind of want there too.

I smiled, wanting him to know I was okay with that, and his sternness eased into a look of bordering on relief, the hard edges softened. Then Edward's head tilted up and when I followed his gaze I saw the sun was out, beaming through the clouds that had blanketed the sky all day.

"We can't be seen in sunlight," Edward said absently, still looking up.

"What?" I asked, confused by the sudden topic change.

"Our skin reflects light differently," he explained. "The sun doesn't harm us, but it does reveal what we are." He dropped his gaze, slightly abashed. "That's what Rosalie was referring to."

"Oh."

Edward's head tilted to side, like he was listening. I wondered what Alice was telling him now.

"Would you like to see?" he asked.

After I nodded, he ducked his head, definitely embarrassed, then stood up and began unbuttoning his shirt. I didn't even try not to stare. Edward's chest was pale like the rest of him, completely firm, and perfect. So very perfect. He walked a few yards to where the sun peeked through the trees and stopped, turning toward me and holding his shirt open.

Rosalie's 'sparkling' comment was appropriate. Wherever the sun touched his skin, it looked like it was made of diamonds. It looked somehow fake, but it couldn't be because it was there, right before my eyes. Proof of just how unnatural Edward was. How inhuman I'd be.

Edward stepped back after only a moment, buttoning his shirt and obstructing my view. I barely registered it happening, though, my thoughts momentarily somewhere else.

I wouldn't be able to be seen in the sun.

"That's why you were away from school," I realized. "It was sunny."

"Yes. It's also why we choose to live in Forks."

"The least sunny place in the world."

"Only in the USA," he corrected with a wry smile.

I sat in silence with my thoughts and Edward didn't disrupt me. This was the first time I'd really _seen_ how different he was. I knew about the blood and the other things, but I hadn't actually witnessed those. And now I was struck by a mild kind of panic—a _fear_ of being different in this new way—and suddenly I needed more reassurance that this was the life I wanted.

"So what else can you show me?" I asked, hungry to see the benefits. "What about strength? How strong are you?"

Edward nodded towards the tree I was sitting on. Suddenly the jagged roots made more sense.

"You did this?"

His lip quirked up into a secret grin. It made him look younger, more reckless. "Yes," he admitted. "With ease." It was almost like he was boasting.

I stared at it some more, kind of floored by how it was even possible someone his size, no matter how strong, could uproot a tree that big. And that he'd done it 'with ease.' My mind swam with possibilities.

"How fast are you?" I asked.

He paused before answering, a hopeful look on his face. "I could show you." He glanced briefly toward the house and I was reminded there were others listening in. "Do you trust me?"

"Sure." I did trust Edward. I also trusted Alice to see anything that might go wrong.

"I'll hold my breath," he said, walking closer and then turning and presenting me with . . . _his back?_ "Climb on."

"Okay." I stood on the log and placed my hands uncertainly on his shoulders. "Ready?"

He nodded and I sort of jumped onto his back, wrapping my legs around his waist and feeling completely ridiculous.

"You should close your eyes," he said, gripping my thighs and pulling me in closer. "And don't let go."

"I won't." I laced my fingers together around his chest and started bracing myself.

He launched us forward and I belatedly remembered to shut my lids. I could feel the movement around us, but I wasn't jostled at all. It was like he was gliding through the forest, holding me perfectly still. The noises whipped past my ears as he streamed between the trees, Edward holding me so firmly I didn't even sway.

I wanted to look, but to do that I had to shelter my eyes, so I tucked my face in as close as I could to Edward's cold neck and glanced out to see the world flying by. It wasn't possible to be moving that fast and it only took a few seconds before my inner ear reminded me of that, so I closed my eyes again. My blood pounded with adrenalin and I felt giddy, light-headed.

Edward's smell was stronger this close up and I dragged it into my lungs greedily. And then, even though I knew he'd feel it, I pressed my lips just a little more into his neck than the rest of my face and gave his skin the lightest kiss I could possibly get away with. When Edward didn't immediately throw me off, it was all the reassurance I needed, and I settled in for the rest of the ride unable to hide the smile on my face.

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	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Sorry it took so long, guys. Thanks to TwilightMundi for the beta.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world.**

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

**The Cullens**

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

Edward ran for at least twenty minutes. Ran, although it felt more like flying. Every minute or so my insides tried to jump out my throat as I'd realized what was happening. Edward had said he liked me. Well, kind of. And then he'd let me climb onto his back and I was holding on for my life while he propelled us through the forest.

He never turned but eventually I saw the house growing out of the trees ahead of us. He must have circled around, the arc so wide I hadn't noticed. Once the clearing around the house was visible, his speed slowed to something more realistic and then he came to a stop next to the log we'd been sitting on earlier.

Apparently my legs had forgotten how to work and I sort of half-dropped, half-fell from his back. Edward caught and steadied me before I hit the dirt. I hadn't even seen him turn around.

"You'll have some vertigo," he said, hands gently gripping my waist and leading me to sit down.

"Thanks," I said, glad he'd saved me from landing on my ass in front of him, but mortified he'd had to. Once I was sitting, I propped my head on my hands and closed my eyes, and waited for the world to stop spinning. It only took a moment for the feeling to pass, then I lifted my head and glanced around. Everything felt normal. Edward was watching me, a worried frown in place.

"I'm okay," I said.

"I should have kept it shorter." He put a hand on either side of my face and turned it side to side, watching my pupils.

"No, look seriously, I'm all right." I swatted at his hands before realizing I couldn't get him to move if he didn't want to. The slight slap actually hurt the backs of my fingers.

Edward withdrew. "I'm sorry."

Being more careful, I stood up. "I'm fine, really. And the run—it was awesome." I admitted, grinning. Then I remembered how I'd pretty much kissed him and had to duck my head. My ears were heating with the memory and suddenly I wished I hadn't done it. Things were finally okay between us and now I'd gone and complicated them again.

"I should go," I said, briefly meeting his eyes and trying to will away the embarrassment.

Edward nodded then gave me one last concerned look before turning and walking to the back door. The fact he didn't try to stop me didn't escape my notice. Was he relieved?

I followed a few paces behind, noting the little dirt streaks along the lower half of his jeans from the forest floor. Which naturally led me to stare at his ass. An ass I'd been in pretty close proximity to just moments before and hadn't even thought to properly appreciate it.

Edward opened the back door and I followed him through. The house was conspicuously empty when we walked through. I imagined Alice herding them all upstairs to give Edward and me some privacy, then I wondered if they'd all be up there, trying hard not to listen.

"Can I come and see you tonight?" Edward asked as soon as we reached the entry, catching me by surprise.

"Um . . . sure." He didn't look annoyed or resigned for once. Instead he was smiling. Kind of shyly. _Oh._ "Charlie will be there," I said, realising Edward may have been hinting at something else. I swallowed and felt my skin prickle with nerves.

"Would he mind if a friend visited?"

My eyes widened because . . . no, Charlie wouldn't. Edward could come to my house and be in my room and no one would think anything of it.

"No," I said, a grin slowly spreading on my face. For once, there was something that wasn't difficult in my life. If this thing with Edward ever did go anywhere, we'd have plenty of opportunities to spend time together. Some place that wasn't inhabited by super-hearing vampires. "So, I'll see you later?"

Edward nodded. "I'll come by after you've eaten."

He smiled and held the door open and I gave a quick wave before heading to my truck.

Edward waited at the door until I disappeared from view.

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

I had a couple of hours to kill at home before Edward would show up, and if there was one thing I knew, it's that I had to have a pre-emptive wank before Charlie got home. Only, I couldn't just whip it out anymore, not knowing how they could possibly _hear_ it. If any of the Cullens were passing by and decided to listen in and find out what I was up to, it would just be—I just _couldn't._

But I had to. Edward was coming over and if there was even the remotest chance he wanted to do . . . something, I had to be prepared. Like Ben Stiller in that movie, only without the jizz in his hair.

I was lying back on my bed, staring at the ceiling with my hand practically glued to my bare stomach, unable to push it down my boxers but not yet willing to give up, and was honestly starting to consider if a cold shower would in any way help me to maintain some control when I had an honest-to-goodness brainwave. I jumped up from the bed and headed to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. Showers made good white noise, and hopefully a good enough cover for what I might be up to if any of them thought to listen in.

The bathroom filled with steam and I stepped out of my boxers, kicking them aside and glancing down at my body. I wasn't built like Edward but there wasn't anything wrong with me. The thought of anyone seeing me naked, though . . . that still freaked me out. After getting under the spray, I reasoned with myself how unlikely it would be for that to happen tonight. Edward didn't seem like the type of guy to just jump me, and he was just as inexperienced as me. He knew more than me, from other people's thoughts. I wish I had some idea of what it was like, how it would feel to finally be with someone.

My strokes had been pretty slow and idle up until this point, but thinking about sex, that was making me hard. And then thinking about proper sex, not just jerking off or blow jobs, but, you know, penetration, that made me want to know what it would feel like. I soaped up my hand and felt behind me, cleaning everything as best I knew how, and then tried to finger myself.

It was . . . not simple. It was tight and . . . pretty hard to get over the fact I was voluntarily sticking my own finger up my ass. I gave up almost straight away and told myself I'd try again later without really meaning it.

I liked how it felt around the outside though, the sort of tickle that could become arousing if I wanted it to. So I did that, rubbed against the crevice for a bit, and then once I was hard again, I soaped up and jerked off. For a few minutes after, I leaned against the tiles, equal parts eager to try for more and terrified of doing so.

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

Charlie came home around dinner time, just after I'd finished heating up our dinner.

"How was fishing?" I asked, grabbing another plate out of the cupboard for him.

"It was good—the fish were biting."

"Cool."

I served up and handed his plate over, then took mine to the living room and sat down to eat.

After a forkful, I glanced over to Charlie and tried to figure out how I should let him know about Edward. I didn't want to _ask _him if it was okay, that would be setting a bad precedent, but I didn't want to just spring it on him either.

"Edward is going to come by tonight."

"Edward Cullen?"

"Yeah."

Charlie nodded and took another bite, chewed and contemplated the TV. It was that easy. I finished my dinner and then took the plates to the sink and gave them a quick scrub, mainly to kill time. Then just as I finished, there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," I said, hoping Charlie would stay in his chair and not give us too much attention.

I opened the door and saw Edward, looking uncertain and a bit like he might bolt at any moment.

"Hey," I said, then stood aside.

He hesitated for just a moment before walking past me, his arm brushing against mine.

"Hi, Edward," Charlie said, barely taking his eyes off the TV.

"Evening, Chief Swan," Edward replied. He looked like he was about to head for the living room and I couldn't imagine anything more awkward, so I grabbed his elbow and indicated the stairs.

"We'll be up in my room," I said, already heading to escape. Of course, that was when Charlie started paying more attention.

"Whatcha up to tonight?"

Charlie's tone was off, like he was trying to pretend he wasn't interested. His eyes gave him away though.

"Homework," I said, maybe a little too quickly.

"It's a project for biology," Edward added, far more casually and convincing than I was.

Charlie seemed to relax a bit, whether it was because he believed us, I didn't know, but he let out a long breath and said, "All right then. Don't stay up too late," then turned back to the TV.

"We won't," I said, casting a relieved look at Edward.

I made sure not one part of Edward and me was touching as we ascended the stairs.

Once we reached my room, I opened the door and ushered Edward in. He hovered for a moment before taking a seat on an old rocking chair in the corner. I sat on the bed.

"So . . . " I began. "Alice give you any idea what's going on?"

Edward smiled, the corners of his mouth edging up while he tried to remain tight-lipped. "I need to talk to you. About us."

I tried really hard not to grin, but I'm sure a little slipped through, even as I saw how not amused Edward was. His face had scrunched up with that pained look as he sat across from me, but when his eyes met mine, his features softened, slipping into a shy smile.

"I don't know how to do this," he admitted. "I'm so scared I'll hurt you—or kill you." He inhaled, lifting his chin and furrowing his brow. "I know the best thing that I could do for you is leave. You would be able to live out your life, and I . . . I would move on." He didn't sound convinced.

I opened my mouth to object—to remind him how we'd already been through this, but he kept going.

"If you really want me to stay, then I will. But I have to make sure you understand. Everything." His eyes darted around the room looking everywhere but at me. He took in another breath. "We wouldn't be able to have a physical relationship. My restraint is dependent on my self-control, so anything that could cause me to lose that . . . " he trailed off looking ashamed.

I mulled his words over, trying to get them to sink in. It sounded like he was offering himself, only without the actual sex part. Anything _physical_ he'd said. But earlier today, Edward had carried me through the forest on his back. That had been physical, right?

"You've touched me before and I've survived."

"You know what I mean."

"I'm just trying to understand," I said, sitting forward on the bed. "What can we do? Can we kiss?"

"I'm not sure. Anything is a risk." His brow furrowed like he was seriously considering my question. "I want to, but part of that want is my desire to feed from you."

All I could think of was how he hadn't hurt me yet. He'd had so many opportunities . . . and today, today I'd been curled around him. He just needed to be shown—I needed to prove to him that we could. I was sure of it.

"Can we try?" I asked.

Edward looked like he was going to say no, but then he stopped and took in another deep breath. His expression changed to one of determination as he stood up and moved fluidly across the room to sit next to me. The mattress dipped under his weight but neither of us moved. My heart was thumping in my chest—no doubt pissing him off—and I was hot all of a sudden. I wiped my palms on my jeans trying to dry them as Edward watched.

"My palms are sweaty," I offered as way of an explanation.

He kept watching me. Intently. "You're so human," he said, like he was realizing it for the first time. "Don't move."

I stayed as still as I could manage, taking shallow breaths that made me feel even more light-headed. Edward leaned forward slowly, just an inch at a time, his eyes fixed on mine. The staring made my eyes water, but I didn't want to look away. I could see his concern in the way his brows pulled together and the tension in his jaw, but his eyes . . . that's where I could see the hunger. Blood lust.

His chest wasn't moving at all and the slight rise of my own felt exaggerated in comparison. After noticing that, my pulse made itself known, rising in tempo and thrumming away. I couldn't make it stop.

Edward's eyes widened and he hesitated. Whether it was fear of killing me or him being gentlemanly and waiting for my panic attack to pass, I couldn't know. It felt like if something didn't happen soon, I was probably going to pass out, so I closed my eyes and waited, silently begging him to just get it over with.

He only waited a beat before touching his lips to mine. They were cold—just like his hands—and smooth and hard—nothing like I'd imagined. But it was real this time, which made it so much better. I pressed my lips closer, feeling them mould around his and causing his mouth to open slightly, which made me think he wanted me to use my tongue.

He pulled back abruptly as soon as I did.

"You can't," he said, looking horrified at himself.

My face heated and I sucked on my bottom lip, tasting a residual sweetness. "Why not?"

"My teeth—" he paused, swallowing deeply. "They're sharp—they'd slice through your skin. Even the smallest nick would allow some of my venom to enter your bloodstream." His voice was strained, his eyes dark but it was different somehow, not just from hunger. For the first time ever, I was looking at Edward while he was aroused.

I licked my lips, again savouring the sweetness and wanting more of it. "I'll just have to kiss you somewhere else then," I said, leaning so I could taste him again. Maybe his neck.

Edward pressed his lips tight and swallowed, closing his eyes as I bent my face to just below his jaw. I started with a light, chaste kiss before opening my mouth and sucking on the cool firmness. It was odd, like kissing something inanimate, but then Edward's hand found my back and made it more intimate.

"I wish I could do that back," he said.

I tilted my head to the side to give him access, remembering too late why that was a bad idea.

With a groan, he pulled away, moving a few feet away so fast, I barely saw him move.

"Sorry."

He looked pained. "Don't apologize." He shifted on the couch. "Your smell is so much stronger there; it calls to me."

I shifted on the bed, hard and unsatisfied, then felt like an asshole for worrying about that while Edward was no doubt torturing himself.

"Do you think it will get better?" I asked.

He ran his hands through his hair, composing himself. "Yes," he answered. "It seems that exposure to you makes it easier to resist." His lip quirked up into a crooked smile and I felt it all the way through to my stomach. A sort of giddiness that made me want to touch him and have him touch me.

"So I can't kiss you with my mouth open," I said, standing up and moving toward him. "And I shouldn't offer you my neck." Edward smiled, an amused glint in his eyes. They widened as I stood in front of him and then proceeded to straddle his lap. "Anything else?"

He breathed in, slow and deliberate. His mouth opened and I could smell the sweetness I'd tasted earlier, wanted to latch onto him and drink it in. Instead I carefully kissed him with closed lips, inhaling as I did it.

"You smell good."

"It's to lure you in." His eyes were closed and his jaw was tense, signs this wasn't easy for him.

"We could probably get off on smelling each other," I mindlessly rambled, rocking forward and finally getting some contact. I groaned—I could help it.

And then I was on my back and Edward was on top of me, his hands pinning my shoulders to the bed. For a split second, I thought he was going to do it - going to drink from me, but then he vanished to the other side of the room.

"Not tonight," he said, voice raspier than it should be. I watched him swallow several times, trying to get himself under control. He had to be hard. How the hell did he manage to stop?

When he'd calmed down, he came back to the bed but left a good couple of feet between us. I wanted more than anything to get back in his lap, to grind against him and kiss his jaw until I came, but we weren't ready for that.

"Another night then?" I asked, half jokingly.

He laughed and shook his head slightly, then met my eyes, a fondness I'd never seen before clearly there for me to see. "Yes," he said. "Another night."

He stood up too quickly and I couldn't hide how it still was a bit disconcerting, no matter how okay with it all I was.

Edward noticed. "It's too easy to be myself around you," he said, watching me carefully, probably waiting for me to finally freak out.

There was no freaking out. There was more awe than anything. At what he'd said, about being himself around me, at knowing one day I'd be like that too, and at realising I'd just had my first kiss with a guy.

"Same," I said, standing up and reaching up for his face. I very, very carefully kissed his lips one last time before leading him down the stairs and innocently saying goodnight in front of Charlie.

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

**A/N: awwwwwwww.**

**It's going to be a while until the next chapter. My thesis is due in a couple of months and I have a ton of work still to do on it. Hopefully around the end of January or February I'll have the next one ready.**

**Are you all watching/reading Merlin yet? There's a fandom hopping piece going up on the PPSS around the 9th of November about Merlin and you should all check it out. I got to be a guest reccer so all my favourites are there. Reeead them. And then ask me for more.**

**I met Colin Morgan last weekend. It was the best day of my life. My little fangirl heart SPARKLED.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thanks for being so patient, guys, and thanks for all the encouraging messages. I really wish I could write this faster for you. **

**Thanks to TwilightMundi for the beta and for still picking these chapters up even when it's been months since she last saw one.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world.**

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

**The Game**

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

I woke up on Sunday to a chill in the air and sat up, blearily checking that I'd closed my window last night. It was firmly shut, so I fell back against the mattress and pulled my blankets up around my chin and grinned when I remembered what had happened the day before.

I'd kissed Edward - _the_Edward. The same guy I'd been harboring a crush on for the better part of three months. I drew in a shaky breath as I thought about how surreal it was that we were sort of a thing now. I'd never had a real partner before - girl or boy - and this was all new and I was kind of terrified of screwing it up.

It's not that I used to lie to people about that girl that I'd kissed. There really was a girl. Michelle. She was the year below us and for whatever reason, her friend asked my friends and before I really knew what was happening, we were all going out to the movies.

She kissed me during the first ten minutes. Even back then, I knew it wasn't right. In my mind, she even tasted funny, and I kept wondering why all these other people were so happy to stick their tongues in other people's mouths if that's what it was like. But I kissed her back and made a show of holding her hand for the rest of the film. I always assumed she didn't enjoy the kiss much either, because we never did anything else together. About a year later, I realized I'd be willing to put up with the taste if I had a chance to kiss the senior with the thighs I couldn't stop thinking about. Or any other number of guys I'd started to notice. In hindsight, I couldn't believe I'd still thought there was a chance I might be straight.

Edward tasted amazing. He smelled amazing. His body was amazing. And I was allowed to touch him now, and there was nothing else I'd rather do. No one else I'd rather being doing it with.

It was almost too much. Thank God the guy was a vampire or he'd be way out of my league. The virgin bit helped, too. Actually, that's probably what was keeping me from freaking out the most - Edward hadn't done this before either. He was new at this too, and after a century, well, I was guessing he was more eager than me.

It was nice weather today, the sun was peeking through the clouds, and I didn't have a lot to do in terms of school work. I wondered if maybe I should call Edward or if it was too soon?

Then I heard a faint knock from downstairs.

I sat up in bed, wondering who it was and kinda knowing it had to be Edward. A moment later another knock sounded and after glancing around to make sure my room was in order, I climbed out of bed to go answer it. I was still in my sweats and hadn't even had a chance to pee - why was he here so early?

I opened the front door and sure enough, Edward was standing there waiting. The cruiser was missing so at least Charlie wasn't home for this.

"Hey," I said.

"Good morning," he replied, his eyes raking over me looking almost relieved.

"Um, come in." I stepped aside, belatedly hoping I didn't look too awful, and gestured to the couch. "I'll just be a minute."

As fast as I could, I went back up to my room and changed, then went to the bathroom, wincing when I realized he'd be able to hear the stream of piss. It seemed ridiculously loud in the silent house, and I wondered if it was the sort of thing that would gross Edward out.

When I was finished, I washed my hands and brushed my teeth, then went back down the stairs, running my hands through my hair in an effort to tame it. Edward was sitting perfectly still, waiting for me.

"Didn't expect to see you today," I said, taking a seat on the other couch. "It's . . . early."

He smiled and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "I wanted to invite you over."

"Oh, that's cool. Sure."

Edward smiled and looked a little expectant.

"You mean now?" I asked.

"Yes. Unless you have other plans."

"No, just, um. I'll just eat something."

Edward's jaw tensed. "I'm sorry - I forget. I'm a little out of practice when it comes to human necessities. Should I wait for you?"

"Yeah, I won't be long." I stood up and smoothed out my jeans before heading to the kitchen to get some cereal. He gracefully rose from the couch and followed me. "Did you want anything?" I offered.

Edward's lips quirked up into that smile that made me feel like a giant girl. "You?" he said, obviously joking, and I stopped and stared for a moment because he was attempting humor and maybe that meant he was finally lightening up about all this.

"You've already got me," I said, trying to keep it playful. "I meant food."

Edward's mouth turned down in disgust. "No. We don't eat that."

"But I've seen the others," I said, trying to remember correctly. "They were eating at lunch."

"It was probably just for show. We can't digest your food."

"You mean . . ."

"Anything they swallowed would have come back up later."

"Gross."

"Yes," he agreed.

"So you really only survive on blood?" I asked grabbing the milk from the fridge.

"Yes."

And then because it had been on my mind earlier, I couldn't help asking. "So do you piss blood?"

Edward looked a little shocked but then laughed. "No. No, we have no waste products."

"None?"

"Not even sweat."

"Is that why you smell so good?"

"Well, I guess that depends. To me, you smell better when you haven't bathed. Like now." Edward walked closer then leaned down and buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply. "It's intoxicating."

I was mid-chew on a spoonful of cereal and I had to force it down my throat. I'd only eaten half the bowl but I suddenly had no interest in finishing the rest.

"Let's go," I said, dumping my bowl in the sink. If we didn't leave now, I was just going to piss him off with my inability to keep my hands to myself.

We took my truck as apparently Edward had _run_to my house this morning, which he said like it was a completely normal occurrence.

As we were getting in he leaned in and smelled me again. "You know that's a little weird," I commented.

"Maybe for you," he said, doing it again, only this time he leaned closer and nudged in behind my ear and it felt really, really good.

I coughed and put my key in the ignition, trying to hide the how he'd affected me. "So you seem all right with my scent now. No more murderous urges?"

I could feel Edward's smirk against my skin. "Does it seem that way to you?" Thankfully, he sat back in his seat.

"Well, yes. Obviously." I started the truck and he waited for the roar to die down before speaking.

"I've been desensitizing myself with your scent," he said, looking almost guilty.

"Right," I said, feeling his words coil tight inside me. "So when you say desensitizing . . . ?"

He glanced out the window. "I spent the night in your room."

"Really?"

"Are you upset?"

I thought back over my night and wondered if I'd done anything embarrassing. I was notorious for being a sleep-talker when I was younger, but I hadn't slept over at anyone's house in years. "Did I talk?" I asked.

"A little."

"And?"

"Most of it was just words here and there, nothing that made any sense. You did say my name, though," he said, leaning close again.

"Like that's a surprise."

"You said it several times," Edward teased.

"Whatever," I said, pushing him away, embarrassed despite not wanting to be. I couldn't control what I said in my sleep.

"I'm sorry," he said, suddenly serious. "I just want to be able to be close to you."

As if I could be annoyed with him about that. "I don't mind." At Edward's relieved expression, I added, "Maybe you could wake me up next time though."

I hadn't meant it to be suggestive, but Edward took it that way. He smirked and that look on his face just did something for me.

"_God," _I groaned, thumping my head back against the car seat. The semi I'd been sporting since he'd smelled me this morning was completely hard now, and I had no idea if we were going to be doing anything at his house. Then I remembered all the super hearing and mentally tried to will it down. They'd probably all be able to tell if I was aroused.

"I'm sorry," Edward said again, although this time he was grinning and looking anything but.

"You can tell, can't you?"

"Yes."

"That's just unfair."

"What's unfair is what it does to me. You have no idea the impact it has on your scent."

"Well, we need to stop talking about this or I will pull over." And then a horrible thought occurred to me. "Can you imagine if Charlie had to book us?"

Edward smiled. "It would never come to that." At my confused look he added, "I'd hear him coming first."

"Right."

I breathed out loudly and forced myself to relax. We were through town now, following one of the roads that went on forever.

"Did you want to tell your father?" Edward asked.

"What - about us?" I asked, my voice about an octave higher than normal.

"He would understand. I think he'd even be supportive."

"And I think you're nuts."

Edward didn't respond, just waited for me. I couldn't imagine Charlie being okay with this. He was a great dad but he was old school - loved fishing and sports. It was bad enough we didn't have those in common; I didn't want to make the gap any wider. Plus, what if Edward was wrong. What if Charlie didn't understand . . .

"I don't want to tell him. Not yet."

Edward nodded and looked out the windscreen. "He's going to think it anyway, when I'm around so much."

He had an almost earnest look on his face as he said it, like he was asking permission or something.

"I guess that will give him time to get used to the idea then," I said, shrugging and looking as nonplussed by his words as I could.

I would have missed the turn if Edward hadn't pointed it out. We drove slowly up their long driveway and pulled up just outside the front porch. As we were climbing out, I had a brief glimpse of this being normal for us, of some time in the future when we'd done this a million times, and it made me smile at Edward. He returned it, shyly ducking his head as though he'd been having the exact same thoughts.

With that I followed him inside.

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

It was an easier visit than the day before. We spent time with the others and I learned more about their lives. Carlisle told me his story, and how he'd come to change Edward, then Esme, Rosalie and Emmett. Jasper told me a bit about his past but I could tell he was holding back some things. When it came out that he was the newest to the lifestyle they followed, I figured I probably didn't want to know.

Alice's past was the most intriguing for me. She literally woke up this way, without any memory of her former life. So many times I'd wished to have a different life, one where I didn't have to worry about not being normal, but seeing that through Alice's eyes, I realized how awful that would be.

After about an hour, some of the others (led by Alice, of course) began making excuses to leave and go and do other things, which left Edward and me to ourselves.

"Bedroom?" he asked, to which I just rolled my eyes and stood up.

He led me up two flights of stairs and down a long hall. "My room," he informed me, before opening the door and inviting me in.

Edward's room was sparse and it took me a moment to realize it was because he didn't have a bed. There was a whole wall covered in shelves of CDs and the others were hung with some sort of thick material.

"They like you," he said, closing the door behind him.

"They're all really nice." Edward scoffed and I had to add, "Well, as far as vampires go."

I went and stood in front of the wall of CDs and began looking through the titles, most of which I'd never heard of. Edward came up behind me; I could feel his breath on my neck.

"Most people are wary of us," he said. "Subconsciously, they know they should be scared."

"You're not that scary," I commented, turning around to face him.

"You really shouldn't have said that," he said, eyes crinkled mischievously. There was a soft rumble and it took me a moment to realize it was coming from Edward, somewhere deep in his chest. His eyes narrowed and his lips pulled back, showing me his straight white teeth. I was momentarily distracted by how perfect they were, which is the only reason why when he pounced, I didn't see it coming.

We crashed into the sofa and it banged into the wall loudly, but I didn't feel a thing except Edward's arms and body surrounding me, keeping me safe. I couldn't move at all. His body had me pinned in on all sides and it was terrifying and arousing to finally get a taste of his strength.

"You were saying?" he asked with a growl in his voice, grinning in triumph.

That voice . . . it did things to me. "God you're hot," I said without really meaning to. Edward laughed but he looked pleased, and then the grip on my wrists loosened and he leaned down to kiss me.

I arched up so we could get there faster, and although I wasn't meant to use my tongue, I figured tasting the outside of his lips would be okay, so I did, licked along his bottom lip, and he groaned and pushed his hips forward and I finally felt _him_.

Then there was a knock on the door and Edward pulled away looking even more disappointed than me.

"Can we come in?" Alice asked from out in the hall.

"Can't she see this isn't a good time?" I whispered to Edward, forgetting she'd be able to hear me anyway.

He chuckled before saying, "Go ahead."

I was surprised Edward hadn't moved away completely. He was still lying almost on top of me, clearly in the middle of something, but he had said they didn't have any secrets from each other, so this was probably mild compared to what some of the others got up to.

Alice didn't seem surprised at all - _so she did know_- but Jasper's eyes widened and he looked a bit shocked.

"It sounded like you were having Liam for lunch," Alice said, "and we came to see if you would share."

Edward pulled me in closer than he ever had before. "Sorry, I don't believe I have enough to spare," he replied playfully, and it was so nice to hear him joking about it, to not have a trace of shame or remorse in his voice.

"Actually, Alice says there's going to be a real storm tonight," Jasper said, grinning. "Emmett wants to play ball. Are you willing?"

I could have groaned. Of all the things I was bad at, sports was the worst. And of course the Cullens would be _awesome_at it, what with their super strength and super speed.

"Of course you should bring Liam," Alice said, glancing at me quickly, and I knew she was just saying it to be polite. She knew I wouldn't be there.

"Do you want to go?" Edward asked. His face expression was neutral but his eyes were lit up in anticipation. He looked so damn cute, I almost wanted to say yes.

"Maybe next time," I said, feeling awful when Edward's delight faded.

He eyed me for a moment and for once, I wished he could hear my thoughts. Then something changed and his frown eased up into a warm smile.

"There'll definitely be a next time," Alice said, a giant smug grin on her face that could only be the result of a vision. "Come on, let's go ask Carlisle if he'll play," she said, grabbing Jasper's arm and leading him out.

"Like you don't know," Jasper teased as he followed her out and closed the door.

Edward was still smiling.

"So what was it this time?" I asked.

"You'll like playing with us," he said, moving to lie beside me. His hand came up and rested on my chest, just over my heart. "After you've changed."

And there was that warm feeling again, the one that came about anytime I thought about a future with Edward, like this was something that could go on forever. "But I hate sports," I said.

"You'll like them in your new body." He kissed me first that time, and we made out like that, calm and tender, because who needs to rush when you have an eternity to look forward to. His hands cradled my face, gently holding me still while he mouthed along my collarbones. His tongue lapped at me occasionally, making me shiver from the wet chill.

"This will be harder to do later," he said in between kisses.

"Why?"

"I've grown accustomed to your scent today. I'll have to start all over again this evening."

I smothered my excited grin by pressing my face into his hair. He'd be coming over again tonight, then. But we wouldn't be able to be close like this, not without testing Edward's restraint. I chased after Edward's mouth then with an urgency I hadn't been feeling before.

It was messy but he didn't seem to mind. I licked against his mouth and kissed his lips and my hand inched lower until I could feel his cock through his pants. He gently thrust against me a few times, and then pulled away with a groan, rolled onto his back and lay there with a tent pitched.

"You don't want to?" I asked. "You said you were desensitized, so I figured . . ."

"I'd never forgive myself if I hurt you," he said, though it sounded like he was reminding himself.

How the hell he could stop like that, I didn't know. My dick was painfully hard and it really didn't appreciate being cut off when we were so close.

"You don't even have to touch me," I said, an edge of desperation to my voice. "We could just . . . you know." I gestured wanking and Edward's eyes stared straight at my crotch.

"Okay," he said after years.

"Thank God," I said, practically diving for his mouth again.

I went straight back to where I'd been, but this time, I unzipped and slipped my hand inside, felt how hard and cold he was compared to me. When it became too much, he moved my hand away and replaced it with his own, and I opened and pushed down my jeans, barely sparing a thought for being shy.

I hovered over him, still kissing when I could but we were kinda frenzied now, jerking and touching. Then Edward pushed me away a bit just before he let out a strangled cry and came, little pearly white strands that messed his perfect abs.

I stroked myself as I watched him come down, was driven by how much I wanted him, how I couldn't wait to be a vampire so we could fuck without worrying about it killing me, and that thought was the one that put me over, had me pumping out come that landed over his.

I eased myself into the small space next to him, absently wondering if I could get him to just bite me now. And then I noticed Edward, staring intently at the mess I'd made.

"It smells like you," he said, his voice strained, and I noticed how dark his eyes were. He reached down and dragged his finger through my come, brought it up to examine it.

"How's it taste?" I asked jokingly, then spluttered when Edward actually stuck his tongue out and licked it.

"The texture is wrong," he said, seriously, "I don't know if I can digest it, but the taste is-"

I swallowed as Edward stuck his whole finger in his mouth and sucked, held back every crass comment I wanted to make. There was no way Edward was going to suck my dick, not with what he'd said about his teeth, but _fuck_did I want him too.

"-pleasant."

"You're obscene," I said and he smirked at me, knew exactly the effect he'd had. I sat up and put my cock away, spared a glance for Edward's that had shrunk back but was still impressive. He did the same, tucking himself back into his boxers and zipped up. I looked around for some Kleenex but couldn't see any, then realized vampires probably didn't even need them.

"Do you wanna have a shower?" I asked him.

He sat up and unbuttoned his shirt, took it off and used it to wipe at his stomach. "No." And then he smiled. "I like smelling like you."

I tried my hardest not to stare at his chest, and failed completely. He laughed and leaned in to kiss me.

"It will make it easier for me later, too, if I have your scent with me."

"Well, in that case . . ."

Edward stood up and pulled me with him. "I have a headful of smug vampires. Let's go back to your house."

"Okay. Sure." My cheeks must have been on fire and I was ridiculously relieved the others had made themselves scarce for our escape. "That's considerate," I said and Edward laughed.

"Trust me, they won't let us off this easy next time."

"We'll just have to keep it to my house then."

"I like that idea a lot."

Edward drove my truck back to Charlie's and we spent the afternoon lounging around, watching TV and avoiding homework. Then eventually it was time for him to go and play ball.

"So I'll see you later tonight then?" I asked, unable to keep the hopeful edge out of my voice.

He smiled. "Of course."

He didn't even pretend to leave normally, just vanished, the slight chill on my forehead the only evidence he was ever there.

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**A/N: YAY FOR WANKING! **

**I'll try really hard to get another chapter completed by May, okay? Thanks for reading. x**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Apologies for the long wait. Thanks for being so patient and also thanks to the lovely readers who've left reviews in the last few weeks (sorry I haven't had time to respond to them individually).**

**Big BIG thanks to TwilightMundi for the beta. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world.**

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**The Hunt**

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Charlie _knew _something was up. The guy was a cop after all; he wasn't going to miss the blatant personality transplant I'd somehow had. He'd come home from fishing and I'd been trying to act normal but kept catching myself smiling at nothing or actually blushing as I thought about my day. After about thirty minutes of that torture, I fled upstairs so I wouldn't make him any more suspicious.

Once I was safely ensconced in my room, I put on some music and turned on the computer, thinking I should probably send Renee an email. I briefly debated mentioning that I'd met someone, but it was still too new and my mom could be overwhelming when it came to topics like relationships and sex.

After I sent her a standard update on how things were going, one I was sure was just going to prompt another more probing email, I tried reading for a while. That didn't work so well either, not with my mind wandering like it was, so I ended up just lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to the rain batter down on the roof while daydreaming about Edward. I wondered how he'd managed to last a whole night in my room with nothing to do, then I wondered if he would stay with me again, only in my bed this time, or if my scent would be too strong after the time apart. Then I figured a shower might help dilute it a bit, so I went and did that.

Edward was gone for ages, and I was almost drifting off to sleep when I finally heard the window slide open. He lithely climbed in and landed without making a sound and my chest felt all over-inflated at the sight of him. At least until I saw his face.

He looked fierce. There was a set to his jaw that was menacing in itself, and his eyes were like a predator's, scanning the room and locking on me. And then it all sort of collapsed and he just looked . . . _scared_. When I opened my mouth to say something he brought a finger to his lips and signaled for me to stay silent. Then with one last look out the window, he came and sat beside me on the bed.

I stayed perfectly still and didn't say a word, even though in my head I was screaming, _"What's wrong?" _Edward looked hopeless, then he saw my notebook on my desk and grabbed it and a pen.

_"We're in trouble,"_he wrote, then tilted the page so I could see. I nodded and then he continued, writing so fast I couldn't keep up.

_"There were some others at the clearing. One of them knew Alice from before. I heard him. He'd wanted to kill her but someone changed her before he could. He smelled you on me, and now he is after you."_

I read as fast as I could but none of it made sense. I assumed he meant another vampire, but what would they want with me?

When Edward saw I'd caught up, he continued.

_"He's a tracker, which means he will find you. Especially now I'm here. But I had to. You're not safe here anymore."_

I looked up into Edward's eyes and saw how serious he was. This was real. A vampire wanted to kill me, and it was bad enough that Edward was scared. His eyes kept flicking to my window, like he was waiting for the guy to jump through any moment, and it was making me panic. What was I supposed to do against a vampire? I wasn't fast or strong or a mind reader. I was a sitting duck.

I grabbed the pen off him and messily wrote, _"Change me."_

He snatched the pen back and wrote _"No."_ At my desperate look he added, _"It takes too long. It won't keep you safe."_

I wanted to argue, to tell him it was the _only _thing that could keep me safe, but that wasn't true. Edward could, and suggesting otherwise would be cruel. Even if Edward looked like he didn't believe it.

So what else could we do? Sit here and defend ourselves when the vampire finally came for me?

And then I had an awful thought and grabbed another pen. _"What about Charlie?"_

Edward looked uncertain before he wrote, _"We have to lead the tracker away from here."_

_"Where will we go?"_

_"My house. You need to tell your Dad that you're leaving and going somewhere else."_ As Edward was writing, his other hand was typing out a message on his phone. I nodded as soon as I'd finished reading and he added some more. _"I'll wait for you in your truck."_

I nodded and stood up, grabbed my jeans off the floor and changed back into them. Edward carefully folded up our correspondence and pocketed it, all the while intently listening for any changes outside. He looked concerned but in control, whereas I felt like my stomach had just dropped out of my body.

I grabbed my wallet and keys, ignoring how my hand was shaking, then nodded at Edward as soon as I was ready. He vanished out the window and I left my room, closing the door as though that would stop a murderous vampire.

My feet were unsteady on the stairs and I had to grip the railing and give myself a mental pep talk. Edward was also a vampire, and he and his whole family were watching out for me. There was nothing to be scared of. They could totally kick this other guy's—_vampire's_—butt.

When I reached the bottom, I took two deep breaths and tried to sound as blasé as possible.

"Um, Dad, I'm gonna go over to Edward's for a bit."

Charlie turned away from the TV and his eyes took a quick inventory of what I was wearing.

"Edward's huh?"

"Yeah." Charlie looked suspicious, like he was tossing up whether or not to give me a hard time about where I was going and what I was going to do. I had to swallow but I couldn't move—not without shaking. I just needed Charlie to nod, to tell me that was okay and that he'd see me later, and for him to not notice I was freaking out.

There was no fooling him though. His eyes narrowed slightly and there were about to be Questions, and then I remembered what Edward had said earlier, about how Charlie already suspected, how he'd probably even be supportive, and I figured if I ever needed him to help me out, now was the time. So I stopped trying to appear innocent and instead looked hopeful. "He invited me over to watch a movie. With his family."

Charlie had a poker face like no one else, but I could still see a trace of concern before he let out a sigh, probably resigned, and said, "Back by midnight, all right?"

The sick feeling in my stomach eased a little and I knew that later, if I survived, I'd have to tell Charlie that he was the best dad in the world. As it was, I still had to make it to my truck. "Yeah, sure. Thanks, Dad."

He gave a sort of grunt from behind his beer can and I hooked it out the front door, turning the lock behind me in another futile attempt at keeping my dad safe. I ran to my truck, wanting to hurry, and slid into the driver's seat to find Edward already in the cabin.

"Drive," was all he said.

I turned over the engine and for once, appreciated the loudness. It was the sound I wanted to make with my lungs.

Pulling out of our driveway, I managed to resist flooring the accelerator, knowing nothing would bring my dad out faster. Once I reached the end of my street though, I pushed it down, felt frustrated with how little difference it made.

Edward grabbed the wheel and said, "Slide over." He lifted himself smoothly into the driver's seat while I squirmed across under him, happy to give him control.

Two lights flared from behind us and I spun in my seat, petrified of what I'd see.

"It's just Alice," Edward said.

"What about the tracker? Did he follow?" I asked, searching through the blackness with my eyes.

"He's running behind us right now."

_That's good, _I told myself. If he was following us, that meant Charlie was safe. For now. I turned back, hoping on some level to not attract attention to myself.

"Can he catch us?" I asked, just as a dark shape appeared outside the passenger door and I began to scream but Edward's hand clamped over my mouth.

"It's Emmett," he said, releasing my mouth and pulling me in beside him. "You're going to be safe," he added, though he sounded too distracted to really believe it.

My whole body felt loose with fear, like my skin was just barely keeping me together, and I tried to tell myself it really was going to be okay, that this—this tracker would have to get through Emmett and Edward before they could even touch me, but it wasn't working. The truck felt slower than it ever had, like it was putting along when we needed to fly. Edward's stoic calm was the only thing keeping me from completely freaking out.

Edward was like stone, staring out the windshield and completely focused in a way I'd never seen before. It wasn't just me at risk, I realized, and not just Charlie. Edward was too, and all the other Cullens. And then I felt the wash of annoyance, the anger that comes along when it's the only thing to save you from slipping into hopelessness. For once in my life, I'd gotten what I wanted. I had Edward. And now this had to happen.

"Why?" I asked, trying not to sound too bitter and failing. "Why us; why now?"

Edward caught the drift of my thoughts. His brow furrowed and he hesitated before speaking.

"He loves the hunt. It's what he's best at, what he lives for. He's only ever failed once—and that was Alice. He thought of an asylum, and then of an older vampire who he killed in vengeance. I think . . ." he paused, swallowed, "I think that's what triggered this, that we associated with a human. When he mentioned the smell," at this, Edward gave me a sideways glance, "Carlisle explained our situation. He didn't know—none of us knew our protectiveness would provoke him."

"How do we make him stop?"

"We have to kill him."

There was no emotion in his voice as he said it, as though it was just a simple fact. And then I realized it was. That was the only way this would end.

"Can you do that?"

Edward's brow furrowed a little. "Yes. The only way to be sure is to tear him to shreds and burn the pieces, but there are more of us, and—" he paused. "He only has the woman."

"Okay. Well, that's two against," I quickly counted in my head, "eight. We should be fine."

"You are _not _fighting them."

"I'm not an idiot," I said, although it came out more like a wail. My voice was still shaky, beyond my control. "I know I can't physically fight him, but there has to be something I can do. I can't just—sit here."

Edward ignored me as he pulled up to the house. "Let Emmett carry you," he said once he'd turned off the engine.

My door opened as soon as Edward finished talking and Emmett stood there, a mocking grin on his face and his arms outstretched. If there weren't a vampire trying to kill me, I would have scoffed; instead I let him lift me up and hold me close to his chest like I weighed nothing at all.

He sped me across the small space and through the front door of the Cullens' house, Edward and Alice right behind us. Everyone else was there, including some guy I'd never seen before. He was standing in the middle of the room, tall and imposing, and when I looked at him straight on, my blood chilled. His eyes were a deep red color, like old blood, and they fixed on me as his nostrils flared. He was a vampire who fed from humans, and he was with the Cullens.

"He's tracking us," Edward announced, glaring at the other vampire.

The vampire looked from me to Edward and frowned. "I was afraid of that," he said. He had a bit of an accent—French?

"What will he do?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm sorry," he said. "You can't bring him down. I've never seen anything like him in my three hundred years. He's absolutely lethal; that's why I joined his coven."

"We'll stop him," Emmett said firmly.

The vampire turned his eyes on me again, dragged them up and down my body with his brow furrowed. "Are you sure it's worth it?"

Edward's chest rumbled and a low warning sound filled the room. The vampire cringed back.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to make a choice, Laurent," Carlisle said.

The vampire—Laurent—glanced around the room, looking at each of us in turn. "I'm intrigued by your lifestyle, but I won't get in the middle of this. I bear none of you enmity, but I will not go up against James. I think I will head North—to that clan in Denali." He hesitated. "Don't underestimate James. He's got a brilliant mind and unparalleled senses. He's every bit as comfortable in the human world as you seem to be, and he won't come at you head on . . . . I'm sorry for what's been unleashed here. Truly sorry."

"Go in peace," Carlisle replied, and with that Laurent went to leave, but not before glancing at me once again, appraising me openly.

Carlisle closed the door behind Laurent and turned to Edward. "How close?" he asked.

Esme was using a keypad on the wall and suddenly huge metal shutters began sealing up the glass windows.

"About three miles out past the river; he's circling around to meet up with the female."

"What's the plan?"

"We have to get Liam away from here," Edward said.

"What?" I asked in disbelief. I was in a steel-shuttered house surrounded by good vampires, and he wanted me to _leave_. "That guy just said he won't come at us head on."

"But he won't be content to just let you be either. He wants to track you, Liam. He will find a way to draw you out."

Edward glared at me as he said it, his eyes drilling in the message I'd failed to understand.

"Charlie," I said quietly, realization dawning.

Edward started giving instructions, his voice too fast for me to understand, but the others were moving. Carlisle left the room and Esme rushed to the kitchen. Rose, Emmett and Jasper were talking with Edward. Only Alice hadn't moved.

I didn't want to leave. It felt . . . _wrong _somehow, to run away. I didn't want Charlie to get hurt, but what would happen once we were gone? Who would protect him then?

"Wait," I said, but they didn't stop talking. "Wait!" I repeated, louder, needing to stop the madness. Alice met my eyes and her expression calmed as she nodded, understanding before me what I was going to say.

Edward turned around to face me. "You'll go with Rosalie and Emmett. The rest of us will stay and—" His voice was loud and direct and I flinched away from it.

"Edward, calm down," Rosalie warned.

"I'll calm down when Liam's safe," he bit back, his face an ugly scowl.

It was a side of Edward I'd never seen before, and one I didn't like. Logically I knew he was only being like this because it was me and vampires did that mating thing, but it was still unsettling.

"No," I said, trying to find my balls. "We're not just going to—to run."

"Liam—"

"No. How is running any different from staying inside? He's just going to follow."

"We'll confuse the scent, and that will give us time to get you away_. _By the time he realizes, we'll be ready for him."

I pictured it, fleeing frantically in a car—something slower than a vampire can run—and it could only end badly. Either he caught up to us on the way or they managed to get me to safety, only to have the vampire attack Charlie. What was the point?

"I don't need to leave for you to do that. We could do it here," I said, my resolve strengthening.

"Not indoors. I've already told you—he'll try and draw us out."

"So we do it outside!"

Edward looked at Alice, appealing for her help. She shook her head. "I can't see what he's going to do," she said.

"Then it's too uncertain," Edward said, turning back to me, expecting me to back down.

"I can't leave," I said, firmly. "I don't want anything to happen to my dad, or to anyone else. If we can draw him out, then the numbers are on our side."

Edward froze and looked at Alice. She was completely still, her eyes focused on something in her mind.

"He'll see what we're doing," Edward said, half to me, half to everyone else. "He won't come at us head on," he repeated.

It was hopeless. If we couldn't end this soon, Charlie was at risk, and I couldn't let anything happen to him. Not when this was my fault. But whatever we did, the tracker was going to be watching, and—

"What about her?" I asked. Was she his mate? If either of those vamps acted as crazy as Edward was right now, then . . .

Alice smiled, showing her perfect white teeth. "I can't see how," she said, meeting my eyes with approval, "but she'll come for you."

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**A/N: It will be another couple of months before the next chapter. There should only be a few chapters left and an epilogue, and hopefully I stop being so busy some time soon and can wrap it all up. Fingers crossed!**

**Thanks for reading xxx**


	16. Chapter 16

******A/N: Huge apologies for the break between chapters that only seems to get bigger. Won't be happening anymore. This story is finished and I'm posting the last chapters today.**

**Thank you to TwilightMundi for the beta.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world.**

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**Hide-and-seek**

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They took me to a small clearing in the woods outside their house. The whole walk there, Edward was right by my side, Rosalie on the other. Alice walked behind us with Jasper and Esme. Alice was constantly scanning ahead in her mind, trying to see what was going to happen. Occasionally she whispered directions to the others, things I couldn't hear. The tension was thick.

Carlisle was probably the most relaxed, leading the way. Beside him, Emmett was pumped, chest out, eyes searching the trees looking for his challenge. He wasn't the most intimidating though, that title went to Rosalie. From the moment we'd left the relative safety of the house, she'd assumed the most protective stance, even more so than Edward's. I had no doubt that if anything came at me, she'd block their path. Having her so close and alert was comforting in a way Edward wasn't. He was too on edge, and sullen because he didn't agree with what I wanted to do at all.

"Here," Alice said, stopping the group with her voice. The rest of the instructions were given in the super quiet, super fast whispering they did so James wouldn't overhear. Jasper was the first to move, nodding at Alice before turning to walk into the trees. Carlisle moved next, and then Esme, both heading in the opposite direction. It looked like they were going to fan out around where I'd be.

Suddenly, Alice was hissing at Edward, quietly, but still vicious. He was fuming, standing his ground, nostrils flaring like a beast's.

"Edward," I said.

His head snapped to my direction, a vampire speed movement. He wasn't budging.

I wanted to rant at him, but I couldn't, not without James hearing. Alice did it for me, her lips moving over the near-silent words. He was still rigid, standing firmly in place, and I didn't know how else I could get him to move. I needed to be alone, defenseless, in order to draw the female out. Alice had seen that much. It's not like I wanted to be left alone, bait for blood-sucking vampires who wanted me dead, but we needed to stop him, and this was the fastest way.

Alice whispered again, and then Edward was moving, finally, but it wasn't away. He reached for my hand and used it to pull me in close, and then leaned down and kissed me, right on the lips, in front of Alice and Rosalie.

His lips left mine and found my ear. "Don't do anything stupid," he said, his breath cool against my skin. Then he pulled away, his face drawn as though in physical pain at having to leave.

I couldn't smile, couldn't offer any comfort, just my quick breaths and cheeks pink from embarrassment that seemed so shallow now. He was leaving my side, and it didn't feel all right. Alice pulled his arm to make him move, then pushed him in the direction of the house. His eyes snapped forward and he didn't look back.

Rosalie was the last, almost like she had to make sure the others left. She become almost as protective as Edward over the last half hour. We hadn't had much to do with each other up until now, but here she was, ready to throw down her life to keep me safe. All of them were.

She vanished into the trees, blond hair trailing behind, and then I was standing by myself, all too conscious of the sounds of the pines, each rustle a warning. It seemed darker now that I was alone, and my complete vulnerability settled in, made me feel weak with fear. My heart rate was picking up and my mouth was dry and I could feel it, the panic, how it wasn't just there in the background anymore, how it was now on top of me.

There was a snap in the distance, and another, and I couldn't see what was happening and my stupid human ears weren't going to make anything clearer. Was it Jasper? Emmett? Edward?

I couldn't move from my spot, couldn't deviate from the plan. This is where Alice had seen me and this was where I had to stay. It was open so there'd be fewer obstacles and Rosalie would be able to get to the female. The Cullens had all the advantages: there were more of them, Edward could hear the others' thoughts, and Alice could see what they were going to do – sort of. But that didn't stop me from shaking, from feeling like I was going to pass out from fear any second. No matter how much I told myself to just cut it out.

There were sounds of a scuffle next, growling, the sounds of branches getting damaged, not in the direction of the house, but that didn't mean anything. Edward was free to go with the others. They'd only started in those positions to make their reactions faster, someone close at all points. A coarse snarl sounded and was followed by a louder hiss, and the sound sank right to my gut. Someone was injured, I was certain of it, but who?

It had to be one of the others. Had to be. There were too many Cullens, too much strength. And then, as though answering my thoughts, I could hear more of them. Grunts and cries, sounds of effort being ripped from their lungs. My ears were straining, trying to differentiate the noises, desperate to hear anything from Edward.

And that's the only reason why, when suddenly there was flaming red hair in front of me, I didn't scream.

She paused for just a split second, allowing me a terrifying sight. Her smile was gruesome and her eyes were red, just like the other vampires, and she was the scariest thing I'd ever seen in my life. She hissed and snatched my arm, snapping it with her speed. It cracked audibly and I knew it was broken before the pain even hit. By the time it did though, she'd already latched onto my wrist, had slit my skin with her teeth, and it stung. I knew what had happened, what she had done, but I was still waiting for the death blow, tense and unyielding.

She vanished, a blur of white and red, and my arm fell to my side, limp and useless as the pain from the break exploded. A strangled yell escaped me and then I looked down, could see the bone peeking through my flesh. And the blood. So much blood.

My head swam. There was too much to handle. Small amounts I could deal with, but this . . . My knees gave out and I fell. I could feel the slice at my wrist and the burn of the venom. It was keeping me conscious, stopping me from slipping into oblivion like I so wanted to do. And then Rosalie was all around me, holding me in her arms, swearing at herself even though she couldn't have stopped her. The red-haired one was too fast. It was all too fast.

"Liam!"

It was Edward. He was leaning over me, cursing as he saw what had happened. I wanted to answer him but the pain was starting to spread, radiating up from my wrist, scorching like I'd taken a flame to the inside of my skin. My brain kicked in as I took a breath and I tried to stop screaming, but it hurt so much.

I heard Rosalie swear, "Motherfucker," and then she passed me to Edward and sped off towards the fight. There was snarling of a new, higher-pitched noise and I pitied anyone who got in her way.

"Carlisle!" Edward yelled, his voice desperate in a way I'd never heard before. It chilled me. "I need you!"

"Don't –" I said, only able to manage the one word. My body was seizing up, clamping down like it might be able to stop the venom from spreading, and it was hard to speak, hard to breathe. But he couldn't call to Carlisle – they needed him out there.

I felt cold hands on my arm the next moment and heard Carlisle's soothing voice, more tone than actual words though. His hands gently patted over my arm as he said, "Broken arm. You shouldn't be here, Edward."

Edward growled then, low and dangerous. "I know," he said, voice rough and strained. "His wrist."

Carlisle's cool fingertips gently turned my hand, the twist causing me to cry out with fresh agony.

"He's been bitten," Carlisle said, voice horrified.

"It's – okay," I managed to spit out. I couldn't relax enough to speak, or maybe I couldn't bring myself to say it. I wanted to tell him that this was what was always going to happen – it was sooner than I expected, but it was inevitable – but the pain was so strong, and it hurt so much. I wanted Carlisle to make it stop.

"No," Edward said sternly. "No, Carlisle, he can't –"

"I could try –" Carlisle broke off. "The wound is fairly clean," His fingers were back, ice against the scorching of my skin. The pain had reached my head now, my blood throbbing in my ears. And I was screaming, screaming for them to make it stop while I writhed and tried to escape.

"Please, Carlisle," Edward begged, his voice desperate, answering some question Carlisle had only asked in his mind. Then I felt his arms around me, firm in their grip, as Carlisle pulled my wrist toward him.

I felt his teeth pierce my skin, his venom adding to the burn that was already there, opening it up anew. My voice was raw but I couldn't control it, couldn't stop trying to flee. Edward's arms kept me restrained, all the while telling me, "It will be all right. Alice is here now. She can see it's going to be all right."

Slowly, the fire started to recede, and it was only then that I understood Carlisle was drawing it out. After a minute my head was clear, and I could feel the suction, how he was drinking it out of me, pulling the venom out of my system.

With the fire gone, the pain from my arm took over. The angle Carlisle held it made it worse, and I tried to struggle, which Edward misinterpreted.

"He's making it better," he said.

"My arm," I said, voice hoarse, but it wasn't just my arm. It was difficult to breath again, everything was too tight. "My body, it hurts."

Carlisle heard and moved slightly, supported the break with his hand. A few seconds more and he was pulling away, but I still couldn't draw a full breath.

Carlisle's mouth was blood-stained, his teeth pink from drinking. It made me feel light-headed. He had a glazed look in his eyes, like he wasn't all with us, but it was only for a moment. Hi eyes fixed on Edward and he spoke.

"Rosalie," he said, and she appeared beside him. "You need to take Liam."

Edward's arms constricted around me and it was then I realized why I couldn't breathe. He was holding me too tight, gripping me fiercely.

"Edward," she said, then waited. She placed one hand on me; it was covered in dirt, her nails filthy.

"Let him go, Edward," came Alice's voice. "This could still end badly."

I felt his low-pitched growl rumbling in his chest, could feel how possessive he was being.

"We need to move him," Carlisle said. "His arm is still broken. We need to get him to the house." His mouth was still red. I could see it around his teeth.

It was a tense few seconds, but then I felt Edward's grip loosen slightly, and then he completely let me go. My chest expanded and with the fresh bout of oxygen came the nausea and the dizziness. I could smell the blood now; it was everywhere. So strong. The scent thick in the back of my throat.

As Rosalie lifted me out of Edward's arms, I caught a glimpse of my arm, the gaping wound and the white snagged tip of bone, and I slipped into unconsciousness.

**.+.+.+.+.+.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Last chapter and then the epi.**

**Thank you to TwilightMundi for the beta.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world.**

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**An Impasse**

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I woke up as Rosalie was placing me in her car. Her BMW. While I was all covered in blood.

I woke up again at the hospital. Carlisle must have met us there because he opened the door.

"Rosalie?" he asked as he helped me out of the car.

"I'm fine. Not going to drain him."

"Can you walk?" he asked me.

"Yeah. I think so." My throat hurt and my voice sounded like I had a severe case of laryngitis. My arm was throbbing with every beat of my heart, but I knew better than to look at it. Just remembering . . .

My knees gave out as soon as I started to faint and Carlisle stopped, scooped me up in his arms.

"You faint at the sight of blood," he said, causing me to groan. The nausea was back, but Carlisle was smiling, seemed to find the whole scenario amusing.

The automatic doors opened and Carlisle strode through, Rosalie at our side, until he reached the front desk.

"Dr. Cullen," The nurse said, eyes wide as she looked back and forth between us.

"We need to get Liam x-rayed," he said. "Compound fracture. He'll need surgery."

The nurse led us through to emergency where I was placed on a gurney and doped up until I couldn't feel a thing. Carlisle and Rosalie hadn't left my side once, and it was good. I felt safe with them there.

And then I remembered my dad.

"Charlie," I said, hoarsely. "What am I going to tell my him?"

Rosalie was down in my ear straight away. "Shhh. It's okay. We're taking care of everything." Her hand found my unharmed one and she squeezed, and I felt it all over.

"I'm sorry," I said. I wanted to say more, about how bad it was that they had to bring me here, how other people would know something had happened to me, but it was hard enough getting that out.

"Shh, Liam," she said. "It's not your fault."

My mind wandered for a bit, naturally shying away from the more disturbing parts of the evening. And then they settled on Edward. Again and again.

"How is he?"

"He'll be fine. Jasper took him hunting."

I pictured it, Edward running down animals, being fast and vampire-y. Strong. Not weak.

"You should have left it in," I mumbled. There'd be no problem then. Edward wouldn't be tempted, and I wouldn't have a broken arm.

"He would never have forgiven himself," Carlisle said, hanging my chart up and coming back to sit.

"I would have forgiven him."

Carlisle let out a sigh. "We've never done this before, Liam," he said, voice dipped low. "Not to someone who isn't dying. It raises new ethical issues, and frankly none of us are comfortable with taking your life."

I mulled his words over in my mind for a bit. "But Alice has seen it. You will eventually."

"It doesn't have to happen," Rosalie said, squeezing my hand again. "You can still be with Edward without having to do . . . this."

And I wanted to laugh, because, no. I couldn't be with him. Not completely. Not like other couples. He wouldn't touch me because I was too fragile. He couldn't even stay with me when I was hurt because the drive to drink me had been too strong.

"Dr. Cullen," A nurse said from the doorway. "X-ray is ready."

Carlisle nodded and the nurse stepped forward to help wheel me there.

**.+.+.+.+.+.**

It took a long time to wake up properly after the surgery. Edward was there, and Charlie had been at some point, and Carlisle, of course. Every time I opened my eyes, I wanted to close them again within seconds, and it was too hard to fight it. Eventually, I was able to keep them open when thirst overrode anything else.

"Here," Edward said, leaning forward and offering me a straw to drink from. There was a brief flash of embarrassment as I realized how uncool it was to have my crush caring for me like I was an invalid, but Edward didn't seem bothered by it. The opposite, really. He hadn't taken his eyes off me.

I drank and swallowed, then glanced around. "Charlie?" I asked.

Edward's brow furrowed. "He's with Carlisle, finding out how this happened."

"Oh god," I groaned, voice hoarse. "How are we going to explain this?"

Edward looked worried. "You were in an accident."

"What?"

"You were in an accident. You swerved to avoid an animal, and ended up running into a tree. Rosalie was on her way home and found you."

I processed what he was saying, slowly, and then – "Tell me you didn't total my truck."

Edward pursed his lips. "We had to do something."

"Do you think Charlie will buy it?"

Edward nodded. "He already has. Mostly he's just glad you're all right."

"Right. Mind reader . . . "

I squirmed, trying to sit higher, and Edward was up in a flash, lifting me into more of a sitting position. His face was right there, close to mine, and so I leaned forward and gave him a quick peck before I thought twice. His expression made me regret it.

"Sorry."

"Please don't be sorry. I liked that."

And that made me feel a little better, but still intensely self-conscious.

"Did everything go okay?"

"The female got away," Edward said, displeasure seething in his voice. "We tore James to shreds and burned him."

"And you . . . you were okay after hunting?"

Edward looked away sharply. "I shouldn't have gone to you. I should have stayed away."

"But I wanted you there. I was glad you were there."

"You didn't know the risk."

Silence filled the room, giving way to the sounds from around the hospital. This part of being with Edward was getting old. He was going to keep torturing himself with my scent and – and humanism until I was changed.

"We could do it now," I said, voice low. "Just sneak out of the hospital and never be heard from again."

Edward scoffed. "Your _father_ is in the cafeteria; would you really do that to him?"

That hurt. "No," I said, feeling childish. Stupid. He had to know I didn't really mean it, right? "I just – I don't see the point in putting it off."

"Because you're not dead," Edward said, voice strained. "You're alive and living and I can't take that away from you."

He was struggling with something, I could see, but I had no idea what. Maybe he'd wanted to change me, out there in the clearing. Maybe he wanted to do it now.

"Not yet," I said, wanting him to relax. "I guess I should take some time to spend with Charlie before I can never see him again." I rolled my eyes, tried to keep it light, and then Edward was up and kissing me firmly, lips moving against mine before suddenly pulling away.

"What?" I asked, wanting him to come back.

"They're on their way back."

Edward stepped away and I didn't want him to, but I hesitated, didn't ask him to stop, and then Carlisle walked into the room followed by Charlie. His face was pale and his eyes looked suspiciously red.

"I see you're awake now," Carlisle said, smiling broadly.

"Just for a few minutes."

Charlie's gaze flicked to Edward briefly and it was awkward, knowing that he knew without really knowing.

"We should leave you alone," Carlisle said. "Watch that bump," he said, confusing me until he made a show of examining my head. _This again_, I thought.

Edward left straight away, though he didn't look happy about it, and I was pretty sure he wouldn't go far. So then it was just me and Charlie, staring at each other.

He sat down. "My life was a lot calmer before you moved back," he said, voice weary. "Why has it always got to be accidents though? Why can't it be the normal trouble teenagers get into?"

"Sorry. It's not like I'm doing it on purpose."

"I know. At least you haven't received any permanent injuries."

I gave him a half smile. This whole conversation felt strained, but that was how we did things. It was familiar, at least.

"So . . . Edward."

Internally, I groaned. We were getting to the part where he told me he knew, then.

He cleared his throat, seemed on the verge of backing out, but then said, "He's a nice kid.

"Yeah, I guess." It was painful, actually hurt to have to talk about it, even just hinting at it.

"The Cullens are good people," he added, almost like he was psyching himself up for it. And I felt sorry for him, for both of us. Wanted to put us out of our misery.

"Are you trying to say you approve?" I said, wincing.

Charlie actually snorted. "Yeah, well. You could say that. And Carlisle thinks you're a good kid, too." He stopped, took another deep breath in and let it out. "No late night trips to his house though, not after this."

"I promise," I said, and in the back of my mind felt all the guilt I'd been ignoring settle. When I changed, it was really going to hurt him.

He sat up a little straighter then, visibly glad to have it over with. "They're gonna keep you here overnight, make sure you have enough pain relief. Then you'll be able to come home, and Carlisle's offered to come check on you."

"That's nice of him." And it was. I couldn't imagine how we'd do if Charlie had to manage all my care.

"Your truck's a mess. You'll be without a vehicle now, but in a way I think you deserve that. Godammit, Liam, everyone knows you don't swerve." He ran his hand roughly through his hair, frustrated and scared.

"I wasn't thinking," I lied, although it was true in a way. I hadn't been thinking of Charlie enough lately, hadn't considered what all this was going to do to him.

Charlie took a moment to compose himself, and I felt awful, watching what I'd just put him through. It made me worry about later, when I'd disappear from his life, and how it really was too soon.

"Anyway, I'd better clear out." He stood up and patted my thigh. "Don't be afraid to let the nurses know when you need meds. I'll be back to pick you up tomorrow." His hand squeezed and he gave me a smile, one ridden with relief, and I mirrored it.

"See ya, Dad," I said when he turned away.

At the door, he stopped and made a show of calling out, "I'm done now, Edward. He's all yours." Even as he said it his face cringed. It was awful, and kind of hilarious.

Edward appeared a moment later. "Thank you," he said, looking more pale than usual.

"Right. Well." Charlie rolled his eyes at himself and left, leaving us alone again.

Edward sat in the seat next to me again, and reached over to take my hand. "You should sleep again."

"I will." For the moment I just wanted to relax, pretend there was nothing different about us, and that Edward's hands were just cold, wrapped around mine as they were.

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	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm simply playing with her world.**

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**Epilogue: An Occasion**

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Edward was sniffing at my neck, which always did things to me, made me want to arch into him, offer up my skin and have him suck it down. _Oh god_.

"I want it . . . to be . . . you." I was right on the brink, bringing myself off with Edward hovering above me, his own arms moving so fast it felt little more than vibrating.

"It will be me. No one else," he said, low and growl-like.

I thrust up then, which was against the rules, but seriously, fuck the rules. It wasn't like he could hurt me if I was rubbing up on him.

"Liam," he cautioned, and stopped, completely, and I always forgot how he had unshakable resolve and couldn't even be distracted mid-wank.

I didn't stop, but I stopped trying to grind against him, settled my hips back down. "When I'm changed, you'll be able to fuck me so hard. I'll be stronger than you—"

Edward groaned, and for a second I thought he was going to pull back and fly across the room, that it was too much temptation, but then he was back, face buried in my neck again, mumbling, "And you'll fuck me."

"_Oh god_," I said, out loud this time. We were going to have the dirtiest sex when we finally could. Edward had no idea the stuff I'd been dreaming up. Benefits of a different frequency.

"We won't stop, not for days."

"Yeah?" I was so close, was starting to lick helplessly at his cheek because I couldn't tongue kiss him yet. And that was another thing we were going to do. Make out for a whole freaking day. I mumbled something to that effect while I frenched his cold skin, desperate and — so close.

Edward was too, his voice breaking up, not the perfect smooth sound I was so used to. "We'll hunt," he said, rough, strained. "Together, we'll hunt together. And then we'll mate, right there in the forest. Still hot from drinking."

He slipped then, kissed me even though he knew that made me want to force his lips open, but he did it anyway, pressed them tight against mine as he came.

No sudden moves so I had to stay still, paused with my hand on my cock, pulsing, ready. "You get off on the weirdest things," I said, because I had to say something. Distract myself.

"It's not weird," he said, oddly defensive. "It's when we're at our most wild," he added, going back in to smell me. "We let our instincts rule us, and we're energised from feeding." His nose dipped down to my chest, where his carefully licked around my nipple.

And okay, maybe the forest thing could be good. I'd add it to the list.

"Can I start again?" I asked, because I had to check. Edward's control could be pretty dicey after coming.

"Yes."

I let out a shaky breath and started stroking again, gently at first, and then Edward moved off to the side, reached down and cupped my balls before slowly moving his hand up. And this was rare. Edward hardly ever came first, vampire stamina and all, and he didn't trust himself to touch me when he was turned on.

But he did now. He had perfect pressure, all the way up and down, like he'd calculated it in his head exactly how much I could handle. He wanked me better than I could, and it was worth waiting for. Every time. Sex was going to be amazing between us.

"We'll have our own place to live," he said, picking up where he'd left off, "because the others won't be able to stand listening to us constantly." And that sounded awesome, because it was one of those things I worried about, living with vampires and their freakish abilities.

Edward's head dipped lower, was placing kisses on my stomach now, and I wondered if maybe . . . but no, he wouldn't. Ever. Just as I'd though it, Edward moved, settled himself further down my body with his head _right there_.

"That's definitely not in the rules." It slipped out before I realized how dumb it was to bring that up.

"I can't do it the normal way," he said, then leaned in and just tasted me, traced his tongue up and down, again and again. It felt amazing, but just the wrong side of teasing too. Until he sped up.

I kind of melted into the pillow then, pushed my head back and shut my eyes because I was overwhelmed with how it felt. He was doing it almost all over, licking up and back, but so fast that it almost felt like he was taking me in his mouth. It took maybe a minute for me to come, and Edward eased off, used his hand to finish bringing me off because he really can't digest it.

I stared up at him, meeting his amber eyes and his self-satisfied grin, and realized that this was pretty perfect. It wasn't ideal, but it was close. And it was only another year and a bit until graduation, when we'd leave for a vacation and I'd never come back and all of these ideas would be reality.

Edward settled back next to me, pulling the covers up because he knew I'd cool down too quickly against him.

"How was that?"

I laughed because he had to be joking. "It was awesome. You know it was awesome."

"No I don't." He said things like that all the time, like he still got off on the not-being-able-to-hear-me thing. He rolled me over so he could spoon me, pulled me in tight and we were sticky and gross but this was Edward's bed, which meant Alice had probably already bought new sheets. I liked the closeness anyway.

"Well it was awesome," I reiterated. "And just like I said it would be, way better than prom."

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**A/N: Thanks to everyone who has followed along with this story, especially those of you who have been reading for over two years (Two years! omg. Never posting a WIP ever again). No plans to rewrite the whole saga, and really, it would probably take me the rest of my life to complete. **

**Thanks to the people who encouraged me along the way, especially revrag and mopstyle because without them it may not have existed (or Liam would have been calling himself Will), and to everyone who read, reviewed, alerted, rec'd. Cheers. **

**Finally, to TwilightMundi who offered to beta and has kept with me even though it has taken me a very long time to finish this, thank you :)**


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